Colbert Report Consumer Alert - Jerky Blaster

  • Aired:  05/19/14
  •  | Views: 18,925

A retailer announces the recall of 600 electronic beef jerky guns, which is a huge loss for the jerking community. (3:27)

>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH,LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODYNATION, NATION, WITH THE

MIDTERM ELECTIONS RAPIDLYAPPROACHING, CONSERVATIVES

IN THE GOP ARE ONCE AGAINBRINGING TO THE FORE THE

DIVISIVE SOCIAL ISSUE OFABORTION THIS DEBATE

ULTIMATELY OF COURSE COMESDOWN TO THE QUESTION OF

WHERE DOES LIFE BEGIN.

WELL TONIGHT ONCE AND FORALL, I-- WAS'S THAT?

FOLKS, I HAVE JUST BEENHANDED A LATE-BREAKING

STEVEN COLBERT CONSUMERALERT.

ATTENTION, ATTENTIONOUTDOORSMAN IF ARE YOU THE

OWNER OF A CABELA JERKYBLASTER MODEL IK 540848 PUT

DOWN THE BLASTER AND STEPAWAY FROM THE MEAT GUN.

FOR MORE ON THIS BREAKINGSTORY WE TURN TO OUR

AFFILIATE AT KSTP ST. PAUL'SNEWS LEADER.

>> NOW TO A CONSUMER ALERTFOR CABELA CUSTOMERS.

THE OUTDOOR RETAILER ISRECALLING 600 OF THESE JERKY

BLASTERS.

THEY'RE USED TO MAKE JERKYSTRIPS AND STICKS.

CABELA SAYS THE BATTERYCHARGER ADAPTER CAN

OVERCHARGE CAUSING IT TOOVERHEAT AND START A FIRE.

>> THANKS, ERIC.

CRITICALLY IMPORTANTINFORMATION, FOLKS.

THIS JERKY BLASTER'S BATTERYCHARGER ADAPTOR CAN

OVERHEAT.

ALSO, THERE IS SOMETHINGCALLED A JERKY BLASTER.

(LAUGHTER)DID NOT KNOW.

ACCORDING TO CABELA IT IS ANELECTRICALLY POWERED

HANDHELD JERKY EXTRUDER.

YOU CRAM YOUR MEAT INTO THETUBE, THEN PULL THE TRIGGER

AND THE MEAT IS SQUIRTED OUTIN TIDY STRIPS.

IT IS SIMILAR TO A CAULKINGGUN BUT THE DIFFERENCE IS

THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE.

THIS IS THE PERFECT GIFTFOR ANY HUNTER WHO HAS EVER

THOUGHT I JUST SHOT THISANIMAL WITH MY GUN.

I WISH I HAD A GUN THATSHOOTS ANIMAL.

AND FOLKS, TALK ABOUTCONVENIENCE.

THE JERKY BLASTER ISCORDLESS.

SO IT'S PERFECT FOR THEOUTDOORSMAN WHO IS JERKING

ON THE GO.

I USE MINE EVERYWHERE.

ON HORSEBACK, PLAYING TENNIS,EVEN DURING THE COLONOSCOPY

I NEEDED FROM EATING SO MUCHJERKY.

THE POINT IS, FOLKS, THIS ISA HUGE LOSS FOR THOSE OF US

IN THE JERKING COMMUNITY.

I JERK EVERYWHERE I GO.

I EVEN SNEAK OFF AT WORK ANDJERK MY MEAT ON LUNCHBREAK.

AND ON WEEKENDS I GO OFF WITHTHE GUNS ON HUNTING TRIPS.

WE SHOOT AN ANIMAL THENSTAND AROUND IN A CIRCLE AND

JERK IT.

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING.

(APPLAUSE)THERE'S SOME JERKERS OUT THERE

TONIGHT.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING,ISN'T ALL THAT EAT GOING TO

GUM UP THE BLASTER?

NOT IF YOU ARE USING CABELA'SOTHER ACTUAL PRODUCT.

FOOD GRADE SILICONELUBRICANT.

EVERYTHING YOU WANT IN AFOOD LUBE.

IT'S FLAVORLESS, AND SLICKAS A WHISTLE.

PRO TIP, PUMP A LITTLE OFCABELA FOOD GRADE FOOD

LUBRICANT BEFORE A MEAL ANDYOU CAN TURN ANY BURGER INTO

A SLIDER.

EVEN IF YOU DON'T OWN A JERKYBLASTER, SOON YOU WILL BE

BLASTING JERKY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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