Cyber Republican Convention

  • Aired:  03/07/12
  •  | Views: 9,083

With virtual reality, we can visit a Republican National Convention where candidate choices are limited only by our imaginations. (3:58)

[LAUGHTER]

NOW, OF COURSE, THE NEXT THREE MONTHS WILL BE A GRINDING,

DELEGATE-COUNTING DEATH MARCH TO TAMPA, BUT IF WE GET THROUGH THAT, A BROKERED CONVENTION

WOULD BE A GRIPPING SPECTACLE AS CNN PROVED LAST NIGHT, USING VIRTUAL REALITY.

JIM?

>> TOM FOREMAN IS HERE TO TAKE US INTO WHAT WE'RE CALLING A VIRTUAL CONVENTION.

SO HOW COULD SUCH A WAR ACTUALLY SHAPE UP HERE WHERE I'M VIRTUALLY STANDING RIGHT NOW AT

THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION IN TAMPA.

THIS IS WHERE I WILL BE TONIGHT TRACKING THE CHANGES MINUTE BY MINUTE AND LETTING YOU SEE IF

WE'RE GETTING CLOSER TO A WILD,

BRUTAL, BRUISING, BROKERED CONVENTION OR CLOSER TO THE BALLOONS DROPPING FOR A CLEAR

AND OBVIOUS FRONT-RUNNER.

>> FINALLY, BUDGET-STRAPPED CAMPBELL NEWS CAN USE THOUSANDS OF HOURS OF DIGITAL RENDERINGS

TO AVOID THE CRIPPLING EXPENSE OF BALLOONS.

AND WITH VIRTUAL REALITY, I DON'T HAVE TO ACCEPT ROMNEY AS THE NOMINEE.

I CAN VISIT A CONVENTION WHERE OUR CHOICES ARE LIMITED ONLY BY OUR IMAGINATION.

THAT'S WHY I HAVE DEVELOPED MY OWN CYBERCONVENTION.

IT IS CALLED "STEPHEN COLBERT'S VIRTUAL CONSERVAGOGGLES WITH MATCHING REPUBLICAGLOVES.

LET ME JUST STRAP IN HERE.

ALL RIGHT.

NATION, WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME ON A VOYAGE TO LATE SUMMER OF 2012?

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

WELL, I'M SORRY, YOU CAN'T.

[LAUGHTER]

BECAUSE THERE'S NO OUTPUT JACK TO THIS THING, SO INSTEAD I'LL

JUST DESCRIBE WHAT I'M VIRTUALLY EXPERIENCING.

LET ME SET THE COORDINATES FOR TAMPA.

[BEEPING SEQUENCE]

>> GOGGLES ENGAGE.

OH, MY GOD, I'M HERE.

I'M IN TAMPA.

IT'S SO REAL.

AND HOT.

I'M CYBERSCHLITZING.

I'M WALKING INTO THE CONVENTION CENTER.

OH, THE HALL IS FILLED WITH REPUBLICAN CELEBRITIES.

HELLO, PATRICIA HEATON.

HELLO, MAJOR DAD.

OH, NOW I'M RIDING A HORSE.

I'M RIDE A HORSE.

I'M RIDING FAST, AND I'M WALKING AGAIN.

GOOD BOY.

GOOD BOY.

OH, IT'S A WORLD WHERE THE PHYSICAL LAWS DON'T APPLY.

WHERE'S MY BODY?

I HAVE A TENTACLE FOR HAND.

AND MY OTHER HAND IS A LASER CANNON AND HERE COME THE ZOMBIES.

GET BEHIND ME, PATRICIA HEATON.

TAKE THAT.

TAKE THAT ZOMBIE SCUM.

GOT 'EM.

OH, NOW IT MAKES SWEET LOVE TO ME, PATRICIA HEATON.

DON WORRY.

DON'T WORRY.

I'M NOT USING CONTRACEPTION.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

OH, YES, CARE, CARE TO JOIN US IN A THREE-WAY CENTAUR ABRAHAM LINCOLN?

YES, YES, IT'S AN OPEN VIRTUAL REPUBLICAN CONVENTION WHERE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

WAIT!

THEY'RE ANNOUNCING THE NOMINEE.

IT'S... IT'S... MITT ROMNEY.

[BLEEPED].

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

REALLY?

COME ON.

I GOT TO GET SOME CHEAT COATS FOR THIS THING.

IN THE MEAN-TIME, ABE, PATRICIA,

LET'S DO THIS.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

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