Times Square Mascots Ban

  • Aired:  04/11/13
  •  | Views: 10,993

A Cookie Monster mascot shoves a toddler to the ground in New York City, so big government butts in with fun-stomping regulations. (3:04)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

FOLKS --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YOU KNOW, FOLKS, IF ANYONE OUT THERE WATCHING IS THINKING OF VISITING NEW YORK CITY THERE'S

SO MANY GREAT THINGS TO SEE, BUT NOTHING IS MORE ICONIC THAN THE COSTUME MASCOTS IN TIMES SQUARE.

I MEAN YOU CAN'T BE -- YOU CAN'T BEAT POSING WITH YOUR KIDS NEXT TO A SWEATY PERSON IN A FILTHY

PLUSH KNOCKOFF COSTUME WHO THEN HARASSES YOU FOR MONEY.

I'M FURIOUS AT NEW YORK CITY COUNCILMAN PETER HAVE LONE, J-, THAT INTRO DEUCED REGULATIONS ON

COSTUMED CHARACTERS IN NEW YORK CITY.

WHAT IS NEXT?

YOU ARE ONLY ALLOWED TO PUBLICLY URINATE 16 OUNCES AT A TIME.

WE'RE ALL ANGRY.

THE FUN STOMPER HERE IS BRINGING DOWN THE HAMMER BECAUSE OF A FEW LITTLE INCIDENTS.

FOR INSTANCE, ON SUNDAY A COOKIE MONSTER WAS ACCUSED OF PICKING UP THIS TWO AND A HALF-YEAR-OLD

BOY TELLING HIS MOTHER TO TAKE A PHOTO AND YELLING OBSCENITIES AND SHOVING THE BOY TO THE

GROUND WHEN SHE DIDN'T PAY FAST ENOUGH.

I DON'T SEE A PROBLEM AS LONG AS THAT SHOVING WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE NUMBER 2 FOR THE DOLLARS

YOU OWE HIM, BIATCH.

AND VALLONE WILL NOT STOP PILING ON EVERY NEGATIVE EXAMPLE HE COULD FIND SAYING WE HAD A

GROPING MARIO AND ANTISEMITIC ELMO.

OKAY, HOLD ON A SECOND.

ARE YOU SURE IT WAS ANTI-SEMITIC BECAUSE SOMETIMES PEOPLE GET OVERLY SENSITIVE AND --

>> DON'T USE LEAPFROG.

IT'S AN INTERNATIONAL JEWISH TOY.

>> Stephen: HE'S AVAILABLE FOR BAR MITZVAHS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND NOW, FOLKS, AS DISGUSTING THIS BEHAVIOR IS, WE STILL DON'T NEED BIG GOVERNMENT BUTTING IN.

TIMES SQUARE MASCOTS ARE SELF REGULATING.

>> THEY RAPE CHILDREN.

WE'RE SELLING THE KIDS, THEY RAPE CHILDREN.

>> DO (bleep) SOMETHING --

>> Stephen: THANK YOU.

I LOVE IT WHEN THEY QUOTE LINES FROM THEIR MOVIES SOX LAY OFF PETER VALLONE, JR., YOU CAN'T

BAN CARTOON CHARACTERS IN NEW YORK.

FOR PETE'S SAKE, THE MAYOR IS A

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