Over-the-Counter Plan B

  • Aired:  05/01/13
  •  | Views: 19,562

America's foremost experts on women's health -- or conservative men in their 60s -- slam the FDA's decision to sell Plan B without a prescription. (2:47)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT, EVERYBODY.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, NATION,

TONIGHT IT IS MY JOB, SADLY, TO

REPORT MORE DISTURBING NEWS FROM

THE FOLKS OVER AT THE F.D.A.

NOW I NEVER TRUSTED THESE

CLOWNS.

WHO ARE THEY TO TELL ME HOW MANY

FLINTSTONE VITAMINS I CAN EAT?

I SAY IT'S A GREAT BREAKFAST

CEREAL.

BECAUSE IT ALREADY CONTAINS SO

MUCH CALCIUM, I CAN USE SODA

INSTEAD OF MILK.

NATION, TODAY THEY PROVED THAT

F.D.A. REALLY STANDS FOR THE

FORNICATION DISTRIBUTION AGENDA.

>> THE MORNING-AFTER PILL IS

MOVING OVER THE COUNTER.

THE F.D.A. ANNOUNCING THAT

PLAN-B, AS IT IS CALLED, WILL BE

AVAILABLE TO CHILDREN AS YOUNG

AS 15 YEARS OLD AND NO

PRESCRIPTION NEEDED.

>> Stephen: SO THEY'RE HANDING

OUT HUSSY PILLS TO 15-YEAR-OLD

GIRLS LIKE CHICKLETS BUT I STILL

NEED TO SHOW MY PASSPORT AND

PROVIDE A DNA SAMPLE TO BUY SOME

DAMNED SUDAFED.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE MY

METH?

FOR MORE ON THIS SCANDAL WE TURN

TO AMERICA'S FOREMOST EXPERTS ON

YOUNG WOMEN'S REPRODUCTIVE

HEALTH, CONSERVATIVE MEN IN

THEIR 60s.

>> THIS IS THE PRESIDENT'S VALUE

JUDGMENT THAT HE AND HIS

GOVERNMENT AND HIS

ADMINISTRATION CAN BRING ABOUT

SEXUAL FREEDOM WITHOUT

BIOLOGICAL CONSEQUENCE.

>> BECAUSE A 15-YEAR-OLD GIRL

GETS TO GET ONE OF THESE EVERY

OTHER WEEK?

IT'S ENCOURAGING THIS BEHAVIOR.

>> ALL OF A SUDDEN NOW IT'S 15

YEARS.

SO WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TWO

YEARS FROM NOW?

SOMEBODY IS GOING TO MAKE

ANOTHER ARGUMENT AND THEY'RE

GOING TO SAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

MAYBE IT SHOULD BE FROM THE

MOMENT THEY'RE BORN.

>> Stephen: SADLY, MANNY, I

THINK BABIES ARE ALREADY GETTING

THEIR HANDS ON IT.

I'VE NEVER SEEN A PREGNANT ONE.

WELCOME TO OBAMA'S AMERICA,

FOLKS.

DON'T YOU SEE THE SHAME OF

HAVING TO ASK A MAN IN A LAB

COAT FOR SEX MEDICINE WAS

AMERICA'S LAST DEFENSE ON THE

BORDER OF SLUT CITY.

FOLKS, THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT

MORALITY.

WHAT ABOUT THE ECONOMIC IMPACT?

I WORK FOR VIACOM.

AND TWO OF THE COMPANY'S BIGGEST

CASH COWS ARE TEEN MOM AND 16

AND PREGNANT.

PLAN-B COULD OBLITERATE THESE

TREASURED FRANCHISES AND FRANKLY

NO ONE WANTS TO WATCH 34

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