Bill O'Reilly on Gay Marriage

  • Aired:  03/27/13
  •  | Views: 141,697

If Bill O'Reilly is now pro-gay marriage, then back when he said gay marriage was like marrying a goat, he was really saying that he's pro-goat marriage. (5:10)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[CROWD CHANTING "STEPHEN" BRRK [ WELCOME TO THE REPORT.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

PLEASE, PLEASE --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU SO MUCH, NATION.

FOLKS -- FOLKS --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

IT IS TRUE, YOU KNOW, I SAY IT EVERY OTHER NIGHT BUT TONIGHT IT IS GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH ME.

BECAUSE FOLKS, I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU -- I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE RIGHT NOW.

BECAUSE I AM SHAKEN TO THE CORE BY SOMETHING I HAVE LEARNED IN THE LAST 24 HOURS.

WELL, I'M SHAKEN THAT I LEARNED ANYTHING.

I LIKE TO KEEP THINGS TIDY UP HERE.

[LAUGHTER]

FOLKS, IT IS LOOKING MORE AND MORE LIKE THE SUPREME COURT MAY DECIDE THAT IT'S LEGAL FOR GAY

PEOPLE TO GET MARRIED.

AND THAT'S OKAY WITH PEOPLE.

[LAUGHTER]

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I'M THE ONLY ONE HOLDING THIS COUNTRY TOGETHER.

[LAUGHTER]

I USED TO THINK I HAD A LIFE PARTNER IN BILL O'REILLY.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT LAST NIGHT EVEN PAPA BEAR LET ME DOWN.

LISTEN TO HIS ANALYSIS OF THE GAY MARRIAGE CASE.

>> THE COMPELLING ARGUMENT IS ON THE SIDE OF HOMOSEXUALS.

THAT'S WHERE THE COMPELLING ARGUMENT IS.

WE'RE AMERICANS.

WE JUST WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.

>> Stephen: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

[LAUGHTER]

ON GAY MARRIAGE, BILL O'REILLY HAS FLIP FLOPPED!

THE GAYEST OF ALL BEACH SANDALS!

RAV LAUGH.

[LAUGHTER]

AND I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT HE SAID NEXT.

>> THE GAY MARRIAGE THING, I DON'T FEEL THAT STRONGLY ABOUT IT ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.

>> Stephen: WHAT?!

[LAUGHTER]

BILL O'REILLY DOESN'T FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT SOMETHING?!

[LAUGHTER]

>> WHAT IS HAPPENING?

[LAUGHTER]

>> Stephen: YOU ARE BILL O'REILLY.

READ YOUR (bleep) CONTRACT.

FIREMEN PUT OUT FIRES, HOMELESS PEOPLE ARE CRAZY, AND YOU FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT EVERYTHING.

ESPECIALLY GAY MARRIAGE.

YOU USED TO.

[LAUGHTER]

>> IF YOU OK GAY MARRIAGE, THEN YOU HAVE TO DO PLURAL MARRIAGE.

YOU WOULD LET EVERYBODY GET MARRIED WHO WANT TO GET MARRIED.

YOU WANT TO MARRY A TURTLE, YOU CAN.

ANYBODY COULD HAVE GOTTEN MARRIED.

YOU COULD HAVE MARRIED A DUCK.

AND 10 YEARS, THIS IS GONNA BE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT COUNTRY THAN IT IS RIGHT NOW.

LAWS THAT YOU THINK ARE IN STONE -- THEY'RE GONNA EVAPORATE, MAN.

YOU'LL BE ABLE TO MARRY A GOAT.

YOU MARK MY WORDS!

>> Stephen: I DID MARK YOUR WORDS! I RECORDED THEM.

[LAUGHTER]

AND BILL HAS VERY STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS OF GAY MARRIAGE.

THIS IS WHAT HE SAID ABOUT CLINTON SIGNING THE DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT IN '96 BUT COMING

OUT IN FAVOR OF GAY MARRIAGE NOW.

>> WHEN HE SIGNED IT, IT WASN'T A BIG DEAL.

NOW IT'S A BIG DEAL.

HE CHANGES.

YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY.

BILL CLINTON -- YOU'RE A PHONY, BILL CLINTON.

YOU'RE A PHONY.

>> Stephen: YEAH, WHAT A PHONY.

BUT BILL O'REILLY'S NO PHONY, AND THAT'S WHAT'S SHAKEN ME TO MY CORE.

[LAUGHTER]

'CUZ IF BILL O'REILLY IS NOW PRO-GAY MARRIAGE, AND ISN'T A FLIP-FLOPPER LIKE BILL CLINTON,

THEN BACK WHEN HE SAID GAY MARRIAGE WAS LIKE MARRYING A GOAT, HE WAS REALLY TELLING US

THAT HE'S PRO-GOAT MARRIAGE.

[LAUGHTER]

GOAT, THIS IS BILL.

[LAUGHTER]

GOAT.

NOW, BEFORE ANY OF YOU JUDGE THE

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I KNOW THIS SHOCKING BUT BEFORE ANY OF YOU JUDGE THE O'REILLYS -- I, TOO, USED TO

CONDEMN MAN-GOAT LOVE -- THE LOVE THAT DARE NOT "MEHHH" IT'S NAME -- BUT, LIKE SO MANY AMERICANS, I NOW KNOW

SOMEONE WHO BYPASSED MATCH.COM AND WENT STRAIGHT TO THE PETTING ZOO.

[LAUGHTER]

AND PLEASE DON'T REDUCE THIS TO JUST A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP.

DON'T MAKE THIS UGLY.

THOUGH I'M SURE THEY DO HAVE SEX.

AND I BET IT'S PRETTY UGLY.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT THAT'S JUST A SMALL THREAD IN THE RICH TAPESTRY OF BILL OREILLY'S RELATIONSHIP WITH A GOAT.

NO ONE SHOULD BE DENIED THE RIGHT TO VISIT HIS SICK LOVER AT THE VET.

[LAUGHTER]

THIS IS ABOUT A MAN AND A GOAT WHO WANT TO SHARE ALL OF THE JOYS AND SORROWS OF LIFE TOGETHER.

AND IF THEY CHOOSE TO MAKE A LIFELONG COMMITMENT, WE SHOULD HONOR IT.

AND I FEEL VERY STRONGLY ABOUT THAT.

AND BILL, I'D LOVE TO BE YOUR WEDDING PLANNER.

[LAUGHTER]

HERE IS JUST ONE IDEA --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HERE'S ONE IDEA: YOU CAN SAVE A LOT BY USING THE CANS YOU TIE TO THE BACK OF THE CAR AS ONE OF

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