Carmageddon

  • Aired:  07/14/11
  •  | Views: 49,915

With the temporary closure of the 405 Freeway in Los Angeles, increased traffic on two off-peak days means someone might have to walk someplace. (2:52)

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR

JOINING US, EVERYBODY.

[AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN"]

OH, THAT'S NICE.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

YOU KNOW, ONCE THESE PEOPLE...

ONCE THESE PEOPLE START CHANTING

MY NAME, YOU CAN'T STOP THEM.

[LAUGHTER]

FOLKS, I WANT TO SAY HELLO TO

EVERYBODY WATCHING IN AMERICA,

ESPECIALLY TO OUR VIEWERS IN

ITALY.

WELCOME.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

BUENOS AIRES.

FOLKS, TONIGHT AMERICA SITS

HELPLESSLY BY WHILE WE INCH

CLOSER TO A CATASTROPHE.

AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE

DEBT CEILING.

SOMEONE WILL DO SOMETHING ABOUT

THAT.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE HELL STORM

ABOUT TO HIT LOS ANGELES, THE

LIKES OF WHICH NO LIVING HUMAN

HAS EVER SEEN.

NOW, I WANT TO WARN MY VIEWERS

THAT WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY IS SO

HORRIFYING THAT IF THERE ARE ANY

BEST FEEDING MOTHER'S WATCHING,

YOUR MILK MAY CURDLE IN THE EAT

THE.

READY?

BRACE YOURSELF.

THIS WEEKEND IN LOS ANGELES, A

SHORT STRETCH OF THE 405 FREEWAY

WILL BE CLOSED FOR REPAIR.

[AUDIENCE REACTS]

IS EVERYONE OKAY?

WE PRAYED THIS DAY WOULD NEVER

COME.

LUCKILY THE MEDIA HAVE BEEN A

VOICE OF CALM.

>> THE MOST TRAVELED HIGHWAY IN

AMERICA, THE MOST, THE 405 IN

L.A., IS ABOUT TO SHUT DOWN FOR

AN ENTIRE WEEKEND.

>> THEY'RE PREDICTING GRIDLOCK

ON STEROIDS.

>> BACK-UPS THAT COULD REACH THE

MEXICAN BORDER.

>> STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THE

405.

>> THEY'RE CALLING IT

CARMAGEDDON.

>> CARMAGEDDON IS COMING.

>> CARMAGEDDON OR THE

CARPOCAPALYPSE.

>> THE CARMEN MIRANDETH.

NOW SURE, CALIFORNIANS HAVE

SURVIVED EARTHQUAKE, DROUGHT,

WILDFIRE, LAKER VICTORIES, EVEN

ALIEN INVASIONS, BUT THIS IS THE

BIG ONE, FOLKS.

INCREASED TRAFFIC ON TWO

OFF-PEAK DAYS.

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS,

SOMEONE MIGHT HAVE TO WALK

SOMEPLACE.

[LAUGHTER]

THINK OF THE CHILDREN.

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