Sport Report - Baseball's Lowest Records & MLB's Twitter Feed

  • Aired:  08/04/11
  •  | Views: 53,169

Two of the grid diamond's lowest records might fall, and MLB gets in on gambling, giving Stephen control of their Twitter feed. (4:36)

>> WELCOME BACK EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

NATION, I'VE SAID IT BEFORE, BUT

YOU KNOW WHAT, TO ME THERE IS

NOTHING BETTER THAN TAKING THE

FAMILY OUT AND TOSSING AROUND

THE OLD PIG SKIN.

THE SQUEALING SCARES THE KIDS,

BUT IT'S A GOOD WARM-UP FOR

FOOTBALL.

THIS IS THE SPORT REPORT.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[SCATTING]

[LAUGHTER]

FOLKS, I LOVE BASEBALL.

THEY HAVE THE MOST LAVISH

SKYBOXES.

WELL, THIS SEASON TWO RECORDS OF

THE GRID DIAMOND MIGHT HAVE TO

FALL THAT HAVE STOOD FOR 100

YEARS.

BOTH HELD BY BROOKLYN CATCHER

BILL BERGEN, WHO PLAYED FROM

1901 TO 1911 WHEN BASEBALL WAS

ESPECIALLY CHALLENGING BECAUSE

OF THE WHALEBONE CORSETS.

BERGEN IS CONSIDERED THE WORST

HITTER IN BASEBALL HISTORY.

HE HOLDS THE RECORD FOR THE

LOWEST SEASON BATTING AVERAGE

AND THE MOST CONSECUTIVE AT-BATS

WITHOUT A HIT.

HE'S SO BAD HE'S BEEN NAMED AN

HONORARY CHICAGO CUB.

BUT...

[APPLAUSE]

BUT, FOLKS, BERGEN'S PLACE IN

THE HISTORY BOOKS IS IN

JEOPARDY.

HIS STREAK OF 46 CONSECUTIVE

HITLESS AT-BATS COULD BE BROKEN

TOMORROW BY THE MILWAUKEE

BREWERS' CRAIG COUNSELL, WHO IS

FOR HIS LAST 45.

HIS TROUBLE MAY BE LINKED TO HIS

NEW BATTING STANCE, WHICH LOOKS

LIKE THIS.

NOW, UP UNTIL A FEW YEARS AGO,

HE ACTUALLY STOOD LIKE THIS.

[LAUGHTER]

ACTUAL TRUTH.

WHICH MADE HIM INEFFECTIVE

AGAINST CURVEBALLS BUT DEADLY

AGAINST PINATAS.

MEANWHILE,, OH, HE'S GOING TO

GET THAT CANDY.

MEANWHILE, BERGEN'S ALL-TIME LOW

BATTING AVERAGE OF .139 IS

BECOME CHALLENGES BY ADAM DUNN,

WHO IS CURRENTLY BATTING .166.

I HAVEN'T SEEN SOMEONE WITH THAT

MUCH TROUBLE GETTING TO FIRST

BASE SINCE ME.

YOU WILL EVENTUALLY SEE A GIRL

NAKED.

I PROMISE YOU.

JUST WAIT.

NOW, WHAT MAKES THIS AN EVEN

GREATER ACHIEVEMENT IS THAT DUNN

IS THE WHITE SOX DESIGNATED

HITTER.

WHICH IS LIKE MAKING BILLY JOEL

YOUR DESIGNATED DRIVER.

[LAUGHTER]

NOW, THERE IS ONE THING... THERE

IS ONE THING THAT BOTHERS ME

ABOUT THIS THRILL RACE TO THE

BOTTOM.

I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE THAT

PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES COULD PLAY

BASEBALL THIS BADLY.

SO I'M CALLING FOR DUNN AND

COUNSUL TO BE TESTED FOR

PERFORMANCE-DIMINISHING DRUGS.

THE HUMAN BODY JUST DOES NOT

NATURALLY SUCK THIS HARD.

WE MUST PROTECT OUR NATIONAL

PASTIME, BECAUSE FOLKS, THERE IS

NOTHING MORE AMERICAN THAN

BASEBALL, EXCEPT GAMBLING ON

BASEBALL.

SO I WAS ESPECIALLY HAPPY TO SEE

THE MLB GET IN ON THE GAMBLING

PART WITH THEIR ONGOING BEAT THE

STREET CONTEST, WHERE FANS

CHOOSE A PLAYER EACH DAY THAT

THEY THINK WILL GET A HIT.

BACK IN JUNE, MAJOR LEAGUE

BASEBALL OFFERED ME A SPECIAL

CHALLENGE.

IF I PICKED MORE WINNERS IN A

ROW THAN THEY DID, I WIN CONTROL

OF MLB'S TWITTER FEED FOR 24

HOURS.

WELL, QUESTIONS WHAT, I WON.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

NICE.

I... I... I OUTLASTED THE MLB

WITH A MONUMENTAL STREAK OF TWO.

THAT'S RIGHT.

THE PLAYERS I PICKED HAD HITS

TWO DAYS IN A ROW.

JEALOUS, CRAIG COUNSELL?

[LAUGHTER]

SO STARTING AT MIDNIGHT TONIGHT,

I WILL BE IN CONTROL OF MLB'S

TWITTER FEED AT MLB FOR 24

HOURS.

HERE'S A SAMPLE.

OKAY.

SCORE UPDATE.

SEATTLE SALAMANDERS 7,

ALBUQUERQUE BALLOONS OUGHT.

ALSO IT'S TOSS YOUR TRASH ON THE

FIELD DAY AT ALL STADIUMS.

[APPLAUSE]

AGAIN, THANK YOU, MAJOR LEAGUE

BASEBALL, AND YOU'RE WELCOME.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

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