Girly Hats for the Marines

  • Aired:  10/24/13
  •  | Views: 58,361

The Defense Department spends millions of dollars on hats that threaten to emasculate the Marine Corps. (3:16)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU.

FOLKS, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

>> SELF-EN, STEPHEN, STEVEEBB!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)FOLKS, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

FOLKS, IF YOU KNOW ME AN IHOPE YOU DO, IF YOU WATCH

THIS SHOW, YOU KNOW I WILLDO ANYTHING IN MY POWER TO

SUPPORT OUR MILITARY SHORTOF ENLISTING.

(LAUGHTER)FRANKLY, FOLKS, I CANNOT

EVEN LOOK AT OUR SO-CALLEDCOMMANDER IN CHIEF.

JIMMY, CAN I GET A PICTUREOF HIM PLEASE.

THANK YOU.

(LAUGHTER)HE IS ALWAYS WEAKENING OUR

MILITARY PREPAREDNESS ANDUNITY COHESION.

FIRST HE GETS RID OF DON'TASK DON'T TELL.

SUDDENLY AN OFFICER AND AGENTLEMAN SOUNDS LIKE DATE

NIGHT.

AND NOW, NOW THIS.

>> THE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENCEIS THINKING ABOUT SPENDING

MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OFYOUR DOLLARS TO BUY OUR

MARINES NEW HATS OR AS THEYCALL THEM COVERS.

AND HERE'S THE PROBLEM.

APPARENTLY NOT MANY WANT TOWEAR THEM.

SOME PEOPLE THINK THE NEWHAT LOOKS FAR TOO GIRLLY.

>> LOOKS TO ME LIKE THE FEMANYIZATION OF THE MARINE

CORPS.

>> Stephen: CLEARLY THE FEMANYIZATION OF MARINE CORP. I

MEAN THEY'RE CUTTING OFF THEBALLS OF MONTEZUMA.

IT'S SEMPER FI, NOT SEARCHBI.

AND I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHOIS ENRAGED.

NEW YORKS' "THE NEW YORKPOST" SAID IT LOOKS LIKE IT

CAME FROM THE SHOPS OFCHRISTOPHER STREET.

(LAUGHTER)WELL, THEN SI HAVE TO ASSUME

THE NEW HAT IS A NEON MESHAND SECURED WITH A BALL GAG.

ALL RIGHT, JIM, LET'S SEETHIS NEW GIRLIE HAT-AS

TROPHY NEXT TO THE CURRENTDENY.

OH, O MY GOD, LOOK AT THAT IJUST CANNOT TELL WHICH ONE

IS THE NEW ONE.

(LAUGHTER)WHICH ONE-- OH, IT'S THE ONE

ON THE RIGHT, THE ONE ON THERIGHT, YEAH, HATE THOSE.

IT'S SO FEMININE, I'M JUSTOVULATING LOOKING AT THEM.

(LAUGHTER)THIS HAT MIGHT AS WELL BE

MADE OF TAMPONS AND COPIESOF EAT, PRAY, LOVE.

I MEAN THOSE TWO INCHES OFEXTRA BRIM IS THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN MARINE AND MAUREEN.

NOW SURE, THE DEPARTMENT OFDEFENCE SAYS THE PROPOSED

HAT IS BASED ON THE ONE WORNBY WORLD WAR I HERO AND TWO

TIME MEDAL OF HONOR WINNERSERGEANT MAJOR DAN DALEY.

WHAT DOES THAT GUY KNOWABOUT BEING MANLY.

HE'S WEARING TWO NECKLACESAND A BROACH.

ALL THAT IS MISSING IS THEMATCHING EARRINGS.

MARK MY WORDS, FOLKS.

NEXT OBAMA WILL HAVE THEARMY RANGERS IN BARRATTS AND

DRESS THE NAVY UP IN LITTLESAILOR SUITS.

WE'RE NOT SELLING CRACKERJACKS HERE.

OH, AND YOU CAN FORGETWEARING CAMEO, SOON OUR

SOLDIERS WILL ALL BE WEARINGGEORGIA O'KEEFFE PAINTINGS.

(LAUGHTER)AND THAT REMINDED ME OF

SOMETHING.

THAT REMINDED ME OFSOMETHING.

I DON'T-- IF ANYTHING, FOLKS,IF ANYTHING, OUR MILITARY

HATS SHOULD BE MORE MANLY.

I SAY WE MAKE THEM OUT OFBEEF JERKY AND SHARK'S

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