Barack Obama's 50th Birthday

  • Aired:  08/04/11
  •  | Views: 44,182

Barack Obama throws himself a lavish birthday party instead of working on the economy, so the recession will last four hours longer. (3:34)

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY

MUCH.

WELCOME TO "THE REPORT."

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

[AUDIENCE CHANTING

"STEPHEN"]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

THAT SOUND OF YOUR CHANTING IS

SO SOOTHING IT'S LIKE PUTTING A

SEASHELL UP TO YOUR EAR INTO

WHICH YOU HAVE STUFFED YOUR OWN

EGO.

[LAUGHTER]

NATION, IT'S BARACK OBAMA'S

50th BIRTHDAY.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S RIGHT.

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN,

FOLKS, WHEN THE PRESIDENT TRIES

TO CONVINCE US HE WAS BORN.

[LAUGHTER]

WE'RE NOT BUYING IT, OBAMA.

EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT AMERICAN

PRESIDENTS ARE BORN IN FEBRUARY.

THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED

PRESIDENT'S DAY.

I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO IS

ANGRY.

SO IS SEAN HANNITY'S VOICE.

>> ECONOMIC ARMAGEDDON HAS BEEN

AVOIDED, BUT THE ECONOMY REMAINS

IN TATTERS, SO HOW DOES THE

PRESIDENT REACT?

HE THROWS HIMSELF A LAVISH

BIRTHDAY BASH.

>> Stephen: DAMN STRAIGHT.

INSTEAD OF GOING TO A BIRTHDAY

PARTY, HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN

WORKING ON THE ECONOMY.

NOW THE RECESSION IS GOING TO

LAST FOUR HOURS LONGER.

[LAUGHTER]

IT IS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE

FOR THE PRESIDENT TO TURN A YEAR

OLDER WHEN THE NATION IS IN

CRISIS.

AND IT'S NOT FIRST TIME OBAMA

HAS PULLED THIS STUNTD.

I HAVE LEARNED THAT BARACK OBAMA

HAS SELFISHLY CELEBRATED A

BIRTHDAY DURING EVERY CRISIS FOR

THE LAST 50 YEARS.

[LAUGHTER]

IN AUGUST OF 1964, TWO DAYS

AFTER THE GULF OF TONKIN

INCIDENT, HE HAD THE NERVE TO

TUSH THREE YEARS OLD.

MIGHT AS WELL HAVE SENT A SLICE

OF CAKE TO HO CHI MINH.

FOLKS, IN BAD TIMES YOU PUT YOUR

COUNTRY FIRST AND POSTPONE YOUR

BIRTHDAY.

I DO.

THAT'S WHY I'M STILL 28.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

[LAUGHTER]

HELP ME.

I HAVE TO MOISTURIZE.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT FOLKS, SEAN HANNITY IS NO

HYPOCRITE HERE.

>> I AM GOING TO BE 50 YEARS OLD

THIS DECEMBER.

>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

>> YOU COULD SAY THAT TO THE

PRESIDENT.

AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,

JUAN, I HAVE TOLD EVERYONE OF MY

FRIENDS AND MY WIFE, I WANT

NOTHING ON MY BIRTHDAY.

>> Stephen: SOUNDS LIKE

SOMEBODY WANTS A SURPRISE PARTY.

[LAUGHTER]

AND, SEAN, SEAN, I HAPPEN TO

KNOW ONE SEXY FOX BLONDS ANCHOR

WHO

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