Stephen Colbert's Double Barrel Blam-O-Rama - Piers Morgan & James Yeager

  • Aired:  01/14/13
  •  | Views: 50,815

British journalist Piers Morgan drives on the wrong side of the barrel, and Tactical Response CEO James Yeager protests Obama's upcoming gun grab. (5:23)

IT WAS ALL "TUNE IN, TURN ON, AND ZONE FOR RESIDENTIAL USE!" MAN!

[ LAUGHTER ]

YES, YES.

WHEN TALK STARTS ABOUT RESTRICTING THINGS, IT'S NEVER VIDEO GAMES OR MOVIES.

IT'S ALWAYS THE MOST INNOCENT AMONGST US.

OUR GUNS.

WHY?

[ LAUGHTER ]

WELL, LOOK NO FURTHER THAN THE MEDIA, MILKING TRAGEDY FOR THEIR OWN PROFIT, INCITING FEAR

INSTEAD OF CALMLY AND OBJECTIVELY REPORTING THE NEWS LIKE I AM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

CASE IN POINT, MY GUEST TONIGHT CNN HOST AND MATTHEW PERRY IN ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK, PIERS MORGAN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

FOLKS, WHEN IT COMES TO GUN RIGHTS, LIKE ALL ENGLISHMEN, HE DRIVES ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BARREL.

1010 AMERICANS A YEAR ARE HIT BY GUNFIRE OR KILLED OR WOUNDED.

YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE.

AT WHAT POINT DO YOU GUNNY LOBBY GUYS WANT SAY WE GET IT.

IT'S TIME TO CHANGE.

>> Stephen: CALM DOWN, PEERS!

WHAT EXPERIENCE DOES THIS UNION JACK-OFF HAVE WITH GUNS?

THEIR POLICE DON'T EVEN CARRY THEM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A DEBATE ABOUT WHISTLE CONTROL, I'M ALL EARS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT PIERS ISN'T INTERESTED IN HAVING A PRODUCTIVE DISCUSSION.

LOOK AT THE WAY HE IGNORES HIS GUEST RADIO HOST, GUN ADVOCATE, AND CONSPIRACY SOMMELIER ALEX

JONES' AND HIS PERFECTLY REASONABLE QUESTIONS.

>> HOW MANY GUN MURDERS WERE THERE IN BRITAIN?

>> HOW MANY GREAT WHITE SHARKS KILL PEOPLE EVERY YEAR BUT THEY'RE SCARED TO SWIM?

>> HOW MANY GUN MURDERS WERE THERE IN BRITAIN LAST YEAR?

>> HOW MANY CHIMPANZEES CAN DANCE ON THE HEAD OF A PIN?

>> Stephen: YES, ANSWER THE REAL QUESTIONS, PIERS!

[ LAUGHTER ]

HOW MANY CHIMPS CAN DANCE ON A HEAD OF PIN?

WHY CAN'T DONKEY'S HANGLIDE?

HOW MUCH LUNCHMEAT CAN YOU HIT WITH A HOCKEY STICK?

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S POINTLESS TO TALK ABOUT GUN CONTROL UNTIL THESE VITAL QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED.

NOW, SOME HAVE SAID PIERS PUTS ONLY CRAZY PEOPLE LIKE ALEX JONES ON HIS SHOW WHO OPPOSE ALL

RESTRICTIONS ON GUN OWNERSHIP, WHEN HE COULD JUST AS EASILY HAVE ON REASONABLE PEOPLE LIKE

THE NRA, WHO OPPOSE ALL RESTRICTIONS ON GUN OWNERSHIP.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU KNOW WHO I DARE HIM TO SIT DOWN WITH?

OVERNIGHT INTERNET CELEBRITY AND CEO OF TACTICAL RESPONSE FIREARMS TRAINING CENTER JAMES

YEAGER, WHO REACTED TO THE ADMINISTRATION'S UPCOMING GUN GRAB IN MEASURED TONES.

>> (bleep) THAT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I'M TELLING YOU THAT IF THAT HAPPENS IT'S GOING TO SPARK A CIVIL WAR AND I'LL BE GLAD TO

FIRE THE FIRST SHOT.

I'M NOT (bleep) PUTTING UP WITH THIS, I AM NOT LETTING MY COUNTRY BE RULED BY A DICTATOR,

I'M NOT LETTING ANYBODY TAKE MY GUNS.

IF IT GOES ONE INCH FURTHER, I'M GONNA START KILLING PEOPLE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Stephen: YES.

WHY WOULD YOU EVER WANT TO TAKE AWAY HIS GUNS?

[ LAUGHTER ]

NOW, FOLKS --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

NOT ENTIRELY APPROPRIATE TO SHIMMY DURING THIS DISCUSSION SO I SAW AN OPPORTUNITY AND I TOOK IT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

NOW, YEAGER TOOK A LITTLE HEAT FOR HIS PASSION ABOUT THE SECOND AMENDMENT, SO AFTER A DAY TO

COOL DOWN AND REFLECT, HE EXPRESSED HIMSELF IN A MUCH CALMER MANNER.

>> I WAS MAD WHEN I SAID IT AND PROBABLY ALLOWED MY MOUTH TO OVERRUN MY LOGIC.

BUT I DON'T RETRACT ANY OF MY STATEMENTS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Stephen: OKAY?

HE'S SORRY, JUST NOT FOR THE THINGS THAT HE SAID.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> I DON'T CONDONE ANYBODY DOING ANYTHING RASH.

I DO NOT CONDONE ANYBODY COMMITTING ANY KIND OF FELONIES, UP TO AND INCLUDING AGGRAVATED

ASSAULTS, OR MURDERS UNLESS IT'S NECESSARY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Stephen: IMPORTANT POINT!

ONLY "NECESSARY" MURDER.

OKAY.

IF SOMEONE ENDANGERS YOUR FAMILY, OR, THROUGH THEIR -- TAKES THEIR YOGURT FROM THE

BREAK-ROOM FRIDGE.

OR THROUGH THEIR.

DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED REPRESENTATIVES, ENACTS A GUN CONTROL LAW OF ANY KIND.

SO WE NEED TO BE READY.

HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THAT?

>> IT IS TIME TO GET READY.

START WORKING OUT, START STRETCHING.

STEERCHG SO IMPORTANT.

YOU'VE GOT TO STRETCH.

TRUST ME, WHEN THE (bleep) GOES DOWN, YOU DO NOT WANT TO PULL A HAMMY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I RECOMMEND -- FEEL THE LIKE I'M IN A ROAD SHOW OF WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE.

I RECOMMEND HOT YOGA-- WHEN YOU'RE MOUNTING AN ARMED

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