Darth Vader for President

  • Aired:  07/24/14
  •  | Views: 17,926

Using a poll done by statistician Nate Silver, The Washington Post crunches the numbers to find that Darth Vader polls higher than all potential 2016 presidential candidates. (3:31)

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THEREPORT, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, WHAT ACROWD!

WHAT A CROWD.

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)DO YOU FEEL THAT?

DO YOU FEEL THAT WAVE OFLOVE? WHAT A LUCKY MAN AM I

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO

MUCH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,PLEASE, SIT DOWN.

NATION, THE 2016PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IS

CLOSER THAN YOU THINK,UNLESS YOU THINK IT'S ABOUT

TWO YEARS AWAY.

BUT THE RACE WAS JUST ROCKEDBY A BOMBSHELL POLL

CONDUCTED BYSTATISTICAL SAVANT

AND COCKIEST GUY INYOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE

NATE SILVER.

IN 2012 WHEN HE WAS STILLWORKING AT THE "NEW YORK TIMES"

SILVER NAILED EVERY ONE OF HISELECTION PREDICTIONS.

NOW HE'S OVER AT ESPN.

BUT HE'S STILL DOING VITALANALYSIS.

CASE IN POINT, HIS RECENTPOLL COMPARING THE

FAVORABILITY RATINGS OF STARWARS CHARACTERS.

(LAUGHTER)YES, NATE SILVER IS NOW

OFFICIALLY IN A GALAXY FAR,FAR AWAY FROM JOURNALISM.

THE STAR WARS RESULTS WERETHEN PICKED UP BY "THE

WASHINGTON POST" WHO FURTHERCRUNCHED THE NUMBERS.

AND FOUND THAT DARTHVADER IS

POLLING HIGHER THAN ALLPOTENTIAL 2016 PRESIDENTIAL

CANDIDATES.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)FOLKS, THIS IS SHOCKING.

A GROUP OF BROADLYOUTLANDISH UNBELIEVABLE

CHARACTERS ARE LESS POPULARTHAN THE PEOPLE FROM AS FAR

WARS-- STAR WARS.

LET'S GO STRAIGHT TO THERESULT, EVERYBODY.

YOU GOT EMPEROR PALPATINERUNNING EVENING WITH MARCO

RUBIO.

NOW MANY PEOPLE EXPECTEDPALPATINE TO DO BETTER

AGAINST THE FLORIDA SENATORBUT REMEMBER IN FLORIDA

THEY'RE SUSPICIOUS OF ANYONEWEARING A HOODIE.

AND WITH GOOD REASON, WITHGOOD REASON.

AND ON THE DEMOCRAT SIDE,HILLARY CLINTON IS TRAILING

WELL BEHIND YODA WHO, AT 900YEARS OLD STILL GETS FEWER

FOX NEWS QUESTIONS ABOUT HISAGE

HE LOOKS GOOD, HAD A LITTLEWORK DONE, HE HAS.

NOW SOME WILL SAY THATLUMPING TWO UNRELATED POLLS

TOGETHER IS LIKE COMPARINGCORELIAN APPLES TO

MANDALORIAN ORANGES-- LOOKIT UP-- BALL'S IN YOUR COURT

JON STEWART.

BUT NATION, THESE NUMBERSDON'T LIE.

SO BASED ON THESE RESULTSI'M OFFICIALLY ENDORSING

DARTH VADER FOR PRESIDENT OFTHE UNITED STATES.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)FOLKS, LET'S FACE IT, THE

ELECTORATE IS BECOMING MOREAND MORE DIVERSE AND THERE'S

NO QUESTION HE IS A STRONGBLACK CANDIDATE.

(LAUGHTER)AND HE'S GOT A PLAN TO PUT

AMERICANS BACK TO WORK WITH AMASSIVE INFRASTRUCTURE

PROGRAM.

PLUS LORD VADER IS A VETERANFIGHTER PILOT WHO KNOWS WHAT

IT'S LIKE TO WORK IN AN OVALOFFICE.

SO VOTE VADER-BINKS 2016,MESAH PROVE THIS MESSAGE.

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