Stephen & Melinda Gates Foundation - DonorsChoose.org

  • Aired:  09/27/11
  •  | Views: 41,549

For every face Colbert Nation uploads to the Stephen & Melinda Gates Foundation website, DonorsChoose.org will receive $5 from the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. (3:18)

COMEDY CENTRAL

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)Ñi

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

"REPORT," EVERYBODY.

THANKÑi YOU!

(CROWD CHANTING "STEPHEN")

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELCOME TO THE "REPORT."

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

I JUST WANT TO ANSWER A QUESTION

THAT I GET SO OFTEN FROM KIDS

OUT THERE.çó

HOW FAR ISñr TOO FAR, STEPHEN?

(LAUGHTER)

OBVIOUSLY THE ANSWER IS FOUR ON

THEñr FLOOR.

(APPLAUSE)

HOWEVER YOU WANT TO WORK THAT

OUT...

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

DO THE MATH.

DO THE MATH.

(LAUGHTER)

FOLKS, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU

BUT I AM STILL COMING DOWN FROM

LAST NIGHT'S HOUR-LONG RADIO

HEAD SPECIAL SPONSORED BY

DR. PEPPER.

I WAS SO MOVED BY RADIOD HE'S

SENSITIVE INDY ROCK I WAS UP ALL

NIGHT BINGE HOPING.

ALTHOUGH I WAS SURPRISED TO SEE

SO MUCH TOM YORK CHANGEDED HIS

LOOK SINCE HE WAS ON "AMERICAN

IDOL."

(LAUGHTER)

TONIGHT WE HAVE AN EQUALLY

WORLD-CHANGING GUEST

PHILANTHROPIST MELINDA GATES.

THE BILL GATES FOUNDATION IS

DEDICATED TO ERADICATING MALARIA

AND POLIO THROUGHOUT THE THIRD

WORLD AND SHE IS HERE THANKS TO

HER SPONSORINGÑi BEVERAGE--

POTABLE WATER.

(LAUGHTER)

IT COULD USE A LITTLE HIGH

FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP.

úLIUGHTER)

OF COURSE, BILL GATES IS ONE OF

THE RICHEST THEN THE WORLD AND I

HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A HUGE ADMIRER

OF HIS MONEY.

(LAUGHTER)

SO WHEN HE STARTED THE BILL AND

MELINDA GATES FOUNDATION I WAS

INSPIRED TO CREATE THE STEPHEN

ANDñr MELINDA GATES FOUNDATION.

(LAUGHTER)

ESTABLISHED IN 2006, THE STEPHEN

AND MELINDA GATES FOUNDATION HAS

WORKED TIRELESSLY TO FIND OUT

WHAT WE SUPPORT.

(LAUGHTER)Ñi

AND TONIGHT I AM FINALLY PROUD

TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE HAVE DONE IT

AND I DON'T CARE HOW MANY ANGRY

LETTERS I GET FOR SAYING THIS,

WE'RE GOING TO HELP THE

CHILDREN.çó

(LAUGHTER)

IT'S ALL RIGHT TO CHEER ME.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I'M DISAPPOINTED HOW LATE YOU

ARE.

(LAUGHTER)

AND, FOLKSçó, YOU CAN HELP THEM,

TOO.

JUST GO TO STEPHENANDMELINDA

GATESFOUNDATION.ORG WHERE YOU'LL

SEE ME ANDñr MELINDA FLANKING OUR

GOOD FRIEND "YOUR FACE HERE."

JUST UPLOAD A PICTURE OF

YOURSELF AND VOILA, IT'S MELINDA

YOU, AND ME INçó A FREAKY

PHILANTHROPIC THREE-WAY.

FOR EVERY FACE UPLOADED, DONORS

CAN SEND $5 TO THE BILL AND

MELINDA GATES FOUNDATION UP TO

$100,000!

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