The 2012 People's Party Congress of Charlotte - Youth Vote

  • Aired:  09/07/12
  •  | Views: 59,856

Delegates congratulate each other on slowly destroying the moral fabric of America. (3:52)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> OBAMA!

OBAMA!

>> YOU DIDN'T BUILD THAT.

THAT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO REPORT, EVERYBODY.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

WHY.

>> STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

PLEASE.

( CHEERING ) NATION, THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.

PLEASE, SIT DOWN.

NOW, FOLKS, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WATCHED IT, BUT LAST NIGHT, THE MINDLESS MOBS GOT TOGETHER AGAIN TO PANDER TO THE YOUTH AND

CONGRATULATE EACH OTHER ON SLOWLY DESTROYING THE MORAL FABRIC OF AMERICA.

( LAUGHTER ) BUT WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

IT WAS THE VMAs.

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) FOLKS, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I DON'T UPON ABOUT YOU, BUT I AM

OUTRAGED THAT ALL-AMERICAN BAND AND FRIEND OF THE REPORT, FUN, WAS BEATEN OUT LAST NIGHT FOR BEST NEW ARTIST BY THE BRITISH

BOY BAND, ONE DIRECTION.

FOLKS, I DON'T WANT A BUNCH OF SNAGLE-TOOTHED, SPOTTED DICK-EATING UNION JACKOFFS TELLING AMERICA THE NUMBER OF

DIRECTIONS WE CAN GO IN.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

BUT I WILL GIVE THEM THIS-- THEIR SONG "WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL" ISN'T JUST CATCHY.

IT'S GOT A GREAT MESSAGE.

♪♪ YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, OH, OH,.

♪♪ THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL ♪♪♪♪

>> Stephen: "YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL." FIRST OF ALL, GREAT DATING ADVICE.

( LAUGHTER ) REMEMBER, GIRLS, LOW SELF-ESTEEM, VERY ATTRACTIVE TO MEN.

GUYS ALWAYS GO FOR THE LOW-HANGING FRUIT, OKAY, EASY PICKIN 's.

SECOND, THE LIIBS ARE INCREDIBLY COMPLEX, BECAUSE THE BOYS ARE SINGING, "YOU DON'T KNOW WHEW BEAUTIFUL.

THAT'S WHAT HEADACHES YOU BEAUTIFUL" BUT THEY'VE JUST TOLD THE GIRL SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.

SO SINCE SHE NOW KNOWS IT, SHE'S NO LONGER BEAUTIFUL.

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) BUT-- STICK WITH ME.

STICK WITH ME.

OH, IT GOES DEEPER.

OKAY, BUT SHE'S LISTENING TO THE SONG, TOO.

SO SHE KNOWS SHE'S NOT BEAUTIFUL.

( LAUGHTER ) THEREFORE, FOLLOWING THE SILLIGGISM OF THE SONG, SHE'S INSTANTLY BEAUTIFUL AGAIN.

IT'S LIKE AN INFINITE FRACTAL RECUSHION, A FLICKERING QUANTUM STATE OF BOTH HOT AND NOT.

( LAUGHTER ) I MEAN, THIS LYRIC AS ITERATED ALGORITHM COULD LEAD TO A WHOLE NEW MUSICAL GENRE.

I CALL IT MOEBIUS.

WHICH OF COURSE WOULD INCLUDE ONE DIRECTION, AND THE RAPPER, M.C. ESCHER.

M.C. ES, "YOU KNOW MY BOY, M.C. ESCHER.

FOLKS, HE IS IN THE HOUSE.