Bears & Balls - Ganjapreneurs

  • Aired:  03/13/14
  •  | Views: 43,875

Colorado's marijuana tycoons rake in huge profits as tourists line up for pot-infused munchies and toke-friendly vacation packages. (7:27)

CLEARLY, THERE'S SOME CASH TO BEMADE HERE.

AND IF YOU WANT A PIECE OF THEPIE, AND IF YOU'RE HIGH, YOU

DO-- I'M GOING TO HELP YOU MAKESOME MONEY RIGHT NOW WITH THE

HELP-- OH" OF A BIG RED BUTTON.

>> ARE YOU A COP?

YOU HAVE TO TELL ME IF YOU'RE ACOP.

THIS IS THE "COLBERT REPORT'S."

BEARS AND BALLS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )BEARS AND BOWLS EDITION.

HI, NATION.

WE'RE ON THE PRECIPICEAVE NEWGOLD RUSH.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, OLD TIMER?

WEEEEED!

THERE'S WEEEEED IN THEM THEREHILLS.

WEEEEED!

( COUGHING )( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS )

AND FOR SOME BUSINESSMEN, THECASH IS ALREADY POURING IN.

>> WE WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU TOONE FAMILY WHO IS AMONG THE

FIRST AMERICANS TO BECOMEMILLIONIARES IN THE LEGAL POT

BUSINESS, COLORADO'S FIRSTFAMILY OF POT.

>> I AM COORDINATOR OFOPERATIONS.

I DO THE LEAST OUT OF ALL THREEOF US.

( LAUGHS )I BRING LUNCH.

HERE WE GO INTO THE WAREHOUSE, ASITE VERY FEW PEOPLE GET TO SEE.

>> IT'S CRAZY.

I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT.

MY DAD DIVORCED MY MOM ANDSTARTED GROWING IN OUR BASEMENT,

AND THAT'S WHERE IT ALL STARTED.

>> Stephen: WOW.

SOUNDS LIKE AFTER THE DIVORCE,SOMEONE WENT A LITTLE OVERBOARD

TO MAKE SURE THE KIDS WANTED TOCOME TO THEIR HOUSE ON THE

WEEKEND.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

MOST DADS JUST GET AN X-BOX.

FOLKS, THERE'S A NAME FOR POTPIONEERS LIKE THIS.

>> THEY'RE BEING CALLEDGANJAPRENEURS.

>> GANJAPRENEURS.

>> GANJAPRENEURS.

>> SO-CALLED GANJAPRENEURS.

>> Stephen: YES,GANJAPRENEURS, OR A TOKE-COON,

OR A CAPTAIN OF INDO-WEED.

A WARREN PUFF-ETT.

A WILLIE NELSON ROCKEFELLER.

( APPLAUSE )BESIDES SELLING

SMOKEABLES THERE IS ALSO BIGMONEY IN OTHER THINGS FULL OF

POT LIKE-- MATTHEWMcCONAUGHEY.

NO.

WOODY HARRELSON.

NO, GOOD SHOW, THOUGH.

THE MUNCHIES.

YES.

SPECIFICALLY, MUNCHIES MADE OUTOF MARIJUANA.

BECAUSE THESE DAYS, GETTINGBAKED INVOLVES ACTUAL BAKERIES.

>> THE PRODUCTION OF INFUSEDEDIBLES AND OTHER NONSMOKABLE

PRODUCTS HAS TAKEN OFF.

MAKING UP NEARLY 40% OF ALLRECREATIONAL POT SALES.

AT DENVER'S INCREDIBLES EDIBLES,THEY'RE CRANKING OUT 40,000

MARIJUANA-INFUSED CANDY BARS AMONTH, IN A KITCHEN UNLIKE ANY

WE'D SEEN BEFORE.

BOB ASHINO RUNS THE COMPANY.

TODAY, HIS TEAM IS COOKING UPSTRAWBERRY COUGH CRUNCH BARS.

STRAWBERRIES, WHITE CHOCOLATE,AND 100 MILLIGRAMS OF PURE HASH

OIL IN EACH AND EVERY BAR.

>> Stephen: THANK YOU STONERICON, HARRY SMITH.

GET A HAIRCUT, YOU HIPPIE!

NOW, WITH POT CANDY, YOU DON'TJUST TASTE RAINBOW.

YOU ARE THE RAINBOW.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

FOLKS, IF GUMMY BEARS ANDLOLLIPOPS AREN'T ADULT ENOUGH

FOR YOU, OTHER SHOPS OFFERT.H.C.-LADEN SODA, BEEF JERKY

AND GANJA HOUSE PIZZA.

SO FAR THEY DON'T SELL CRAZYBREAD, BUT YOU CAN BUY GARLIC

PARANOIA KNOTS.

IF YOUR CONSCIENCE DOESN'T ALLOW YOU TO SELL POT, THERE ARE

INDIRECT WAYS TO CASH IN ONCOLORADO'S NEW MARIJUANA CRAZE

LIKE CLEAN URINE SALESMAN.

NO.

SCALPING FISH TICKETS.

GETTING CLOSER.

ROAD TRIP.

>> Stephen: JOIN THE GROWINGFIELD OF MARIJUANA TOURISM.

DENVER IS BECOMING THE NEWAMSTERDAM, ONLY WITH FEWER

AMERICANS.

JIM.

>> SEARCHES FOR ONLINE TRAVELDEALS TO DENVER ARE OUTPACING

ALL OTHER SEARCHES FOR ALL U.S.

DESTINATIONS.

>> A COMPANY CALLED MY 420TOURS, THEY WILL PICK YOU UP AT

THE AIRPORT, CONNECT WITH YOU APOT-FRIENDLY HOTEL.

>> ADDISON MORSE OWNS THIS TOURCOMPANY, COLORADO ROCKY MOUNTAIN

HIGH, AND CAN BARELY KEEP UPWITH THE DEMAND, EVEN AT ABOUT

$300 PER PERSON.

>> TAKE A LOOK AT THIS-- AMARIJUANA SKI BUS, THIS COMPANY

OFFERING TO PICK UP POT TOURISTSD.I.A., AND TAKE THEM STRAIGHT

TO THE SLOPES, WHILE THEY SMOKEON THE RIDE THERE.

>> Stephen: OKAY, HERE'S HOWYOU SPOT PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN ON

THE MARIJUANA SKI BUS-- THEY'RETHE ONES SNOWBOARDING.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

THE POINT IS-- THE POINT IS-- ( CHEERS )

DENVER, COLORADO, IS QUICKLYBECOMING AMERICA'S BIGGEST

TOURIST DESTINATION, THOUGH YOURVACATION PHOTOS MAY NEED

SIGNIFICANTLY MORE RED EYEREDUCTION.

BUT, FOLKS THERE'S ONE PROBLEMEVERY SUCCESSFUL

GANJAPRENEUR MUST NOW DEAL WITH.

TAKE YOUR KID TO WORK DAY.

NO.

MEXICAN DRUG LORDS.

>> Stephen: THEY ARETHINSKINNED, BUT NO.

>> MO MONEY, MO PROBLEMS.

>> Stephen: YES, BECAUSE ONCEYOU'VE MADE YOUR STASH FROM YOUR

STASH, WHERE DO YOU STASH IT?

>> FROM COAST TO COAST, BANK ANDCREDIT UNION TRADE GROUPS

ADVISING THEIR MEMBER BANKS TOSTEER CLEAR OF THE MARIJUANA

BUSINESS.

UNDER FEDERAL LAW, MARIJUANA'SNO DIFFERENT THAN HARD-CORE

ILLEGAL DRUGS LIKE HEROIN ANDECSTASY.

>> Stephen: YES, IF BANKERSACCEPT DRUG MONEY, THEY MIGHT GO

TO JAIL.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

WHAT AM I SAYING!

WHAT AM I SAYING!

THAT'S GOT TO BE A TYPO.

WHOEVER WROTE THAT LINE WASHIGH.

( LAUGHTER )WELL, THANKFULLY

SOME BUDNESS OWNERS HAVE FOUND AWORKAROUND.

>> WE BANK WITH COMPANIES WITH ADON'T ASK, DON'T TELL

RELATIONSHIP.

I THINK THEY HAVE A STRONGSUSPICION.

>> Stephen: I HAVE A STRONGSUSPICION, TOO, SINCE I CAN'T

EVEN SEE YOU THROUGH ALL THATDOPE SMOKE.

BUT, FOLKS--( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

HE IS CAREFUL NOT TO MAKE THEBANK TOO SUSPICIOUS.

>> WE TAKE GREAT PAINS TO HELPTHEM IGNORE IT BY, YOU KNOW,

PAYING OUR VENDORS WITH CASH.

WE ALSO FEBREZE THE MONEY SO ITDOESN'T SMELL LIKE MARIJUANA.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: YES, THEY FEBREZETHE MONEY.

THEY MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET THESMELL OFF A $100 BILL, BUT

EVERYONE CAN SEE BEN IS BAKEDOUT OF HIS GHORD.

WELL, THAT'S IT FOR TONIGHT'SBEARS AND BALLS.

JOIN US NEXT TIME WHEN WEPROFILE OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE

GOTTEN FILTHY RICH PUSHING DRUGSLIKE.

>> PFIZER.

>> Stephen: NO, NO, I MEAN,WHEN I HIGHLIGHT ANOTHER PLACE

BESIEGED BY RAMPANT DRUG ABUSE.

>> MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL.

>> Stephen: NO, NO, I MEANPLACES OUTSIDE OF COLORADO WHERE

POT USE IT BOOMING.

>> EVERYWHERE!

>> Stephen: CLOSE ENOUGH.

>> WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

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