Murdoch's Media Empire Might Go Down the Toilet

  • Aired:  07/14/11
  •  | Views: 77,300

With News of the World gone and BSkyB out of reach, all Rupert Murdoch has to comfort him are a few media companies. (5:34)

TO ME.

MAY THE BEST STEPHEN COLBERT

WIN.

NATION, I DON'T USUALLY PAY

ATTENTION TO WHAT'S GOING ON IN

ENGLAND.

I ASSUME IF SOMETHING REALLY

IMPORTANT HAPPENS OVER, THERE

I'LL FIND OUT ABOUT IT IN THE

NEXT HARRY POTTER MOVIE, WHICH

STRANGELY THERE HAS BEEN NO

MENTION IN THE LATEST TRAILER OF

MY FAVORITE

ANGELO-AUSTRALIAN-AMERICAN MEDIA

BILLIONAIRE MUGGLE, NEWS CORP

CHAIRPERSON AND FIVE-TIME DARK

LORD OF THE MONTH RUPERT

MURDOCH.

HE'S FACING A SPOT OF LEGAL

TROUBLE IN MERRY OLD ENGLAND

TOWN BECAUSE A TABLOID HE OWNED,

THE "NEWS OF THE WORLD," WELL,

THEY WENT AND DID A SILLY THING.

THEY ILLEGALLY HACKED INTO

PEOPLE'S CELL PHONE MESSAGES.

4,000 TIMES.

AND NOW POOR UNCLE RUPI IS

GETTING HIS CRUMPET STOPPED AND

FOR WHAT?

>> RUPERT MURDOCH SAID "NEWS OF

THE WORLD" TRIED TO HACK INTO

THE VOICE MAILS OF VICTIMS OF

THE 9/11 ATTACKS.

>> AS WELL AS THE VOICE MAILS OF

FAMILIES OF BRITISH SEGARS

KILLED IN ACTION.

>> THE PAPER HACKED INTO THE

VOICE MAIL OF 13-YEAR-OLD MILLIE

DOWLER WHILE SHE WAS STILL

MISSING AND THE HACKER EVEN

DELETED SOME VOICE MAILS, GIVING

HER FAMILY FALSE HOPE SHE WAS

STILL ALIVE.

>> Stephen: ANYTHING ELSE?

>> VICTIMS INCLUDED ACTRESS

SIENNA MILLER AND STAR HUGH

GRANT.

>> Stephen: OH, HUGH GRANT.

HE HASN'T HAD A MOVIE IN LIKE

TWO YEARS.

BUT JUST HOW BIG OF A SCANDAL IS

THIS?

>> AFTER 168 YEARS NOW, THE

"NEWS OF THE WORLD" HAS PUT ITS

LAST ISSUE TO BED.

THE TABLOID WAS SHUT DOWN THIS

PAST WEEK BY ITS OWNER, RUPERT

MURDOCH.

>> Stephen: SO BIG THAT A

PAPER GOING OUT OF BUSINESS IS

NEWS.

[LAUGHTER]

WELL, THE MEDIA SHARKS ARE

LICKING THEIR CHOPS, AND NOT

JUST BECAUSE RIEWP ERTD LOOKS

LIKE A DEAD SQUID.

[LAUGHTER]

LOOK AT HOW GLEEFULLY THE

COMPETITION IS REPORTING THIS

STORY.

>> THE SCANDAL DEEPENS FOR

RUPERT MURDOCH AND HIS MEDIA

EMPIRE ROCKED BY SHAME.

>> I'M NOT REALLY HEARING A

RESPONSE FROM NEWS CORP, AND

THEY'RE USUALLY THE MOST

AGGRESSIVE.

YOU LOOK AT THEIR P.R. STAFF,

AND THEY'RE REMARKABLE.

>> THERE IS NO CONTAINING THE

SCANDAL.

>> THE SCANDAL.

>> ROCKED BY SCANDAL.

>> ANARCHY IN THE U.K., AS THE

SEX PISTOLS MIGHT HAVE SAID.

>> Stephen: AS CEE LO GREEN

MIGHT SAY, "[BLEEPED] YOU."

NOW, I WARNED RUPERT, THESE ARE

THE TYPE OF ATTACKS THAT HAPPEN

WHEN THERE ARE MEDIA COMPANIES

HE DOESN'T OWN.

NOW ALL THE OTHER MEDIA TYPES

ARE GANGING UP ON HIM.

THEY'RE ACCUSING MURDOCH'S

AMERICAN NEWS CHANNEL FOX OF NOT

COVERING THE STORY BECAUSE

DURING A COMMERCIAL BREAK FOX

NEWS ANALYSTS SAID IN FRONT OF A

WEB CAM THAT THEY WEREN'T GOING

TO TALK ABOUT IT.

>> ANYBODY WANT TO BRING UP THE

SUBJECT THAT WE'RE NOT TALKING

ABOUT TODAY FOR THE STREAMERS?

>> GO AHEAD.

>> I'M NOT GOING TO TOUCH IT.

>> Stephen: BIG DEAL.

THAT'S FOX NEWS MOTTO "WE DON'T

TOUCH IT.

YOU DECIDE."

NOW, "NEWS OF THE WORLD," NEWS

OF THE WORLD DIDN'T EVEN DO

ANYTHING WRONG.

JUST LISTEN TO ITS FORMER EDITOR

PAUL McMULLEN.

>> I TRIED TO WRITE ARTICLES IN

A TRUTHFUL WAY AND WHAT BETTER

SOURCE OF GETTING THE TRUTH IS

TO LISTEN TO SOMEONE'S MESSAGES.

>> Stephen: YES.

LAUGHTER LAUGH

THE SAME WAY THAT THE BEST WAY

FOR A DOCTOR TO GET YOUR MEDICAL

HISTORY IS TO STEAL YOUR KIDNEY.

[LAUGHTER]

SO FOLLOWING THEIR EXAMPLE AND

TO GET TO THE TRUTH OF THIS

STORY, I HACKED THE MESSAGES

LEFT BY RUPERT MURDOCH ON HIS

ATTORNEY'S CELL PHONE THIS WEEK.

JIM.

>> HENRY, THIS IS RUPERT.

THIS THING'S GONE OUT OF

CONTROL.

I'M AUSTRALIAN FOR [BLEEPED].

CALL ME BACK AS FAST AS A

WALLABY UP A EUCALYPTUS TREE.

HENRY, RUPERT.

GODDAMNIT I HAD TO CLOSE THE

PAPER.

I'M ANGRIER THAN A BLOOMING

ONION.

WHEN I'M ANGRY I WANT TO BUY

STUFF.

SEE IF COLORADO IS AVAILABLE.

CALL ME.

BYE.

[BEEPING]

[BLEEPED]DED.

[BLEEPED] ON THE BARBIE.

I WANT TO BUY HUGH JACKMAN AND

MAKE HIM BREED WITH KYLIE

MINOGUE.

KOALA ME BACK.

[APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: CRIKEY.

IT LOOKS LIKE HIS MEDIA EMPIRE

MIGHT GO DOWN THE TOILET NOW,

AND IN AUSTRALIA IT GOES DOWN

THE OTHER WAY.

[LAUGHTER]

BECAUSE YESTERDAY MURDOCH HAD TO

ABANDONED HIS 12 BILLION DOLLAR

BID TO BUY BRITISH SATELLITE

BROADCASTER B SKY B.

WE DON'T GET B SKY B HERE

BECAUSE THE BRITISH SATELLITES

DRIVE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE

ORBIT.

IT IS SO SAD, FOLKS.

WITH "NEWS OF THE WORLD" GONE

AND B SKY B OUT OF REACH, ALL

RUPERT HAS TO COMFORT HIM ARE

THESE FEW MEDIA PROPERTIES.

[LAUGHTER]

SEE, THAT'S ALL.

FROM NOW ON... OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

WE'LL

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