Sport Report - Russia's Anti-Gay Winter Games

  • Aired:  11/20/13
  •  | Views: 32,520

In preparation for the Winter Olympics, Russia bans "gay propaganda" and finds a creative way to deprive protestors of a popular symbol. (4:18)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,NATION.

THANKS SO MUCH.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IF YOUKNOW THE HISTORY OF THIS SHOW IS

COMES AS NO SURPRISE TO YOU ILOVE THE OLYMPICS.

IT'S ONE OF THE FEW TIMES YOUCAN THROW A SPEAR IN A STADIUM

AND NOT GET ARREST FORWARD IT.

THIS IS THE SPORT REPORT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS )

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS )

FOLKS-- THANK YOU, THAT ONE'SFREE.

THAT'S FREE.

( LAUGHTER )FOLKS, I'M REALLY LOOKING

FORWARD TO THE UPCOMING WIRPTDQAIMS IN SOCHI, RUSSIA.

I EVEN LEARNED SOME RUSSIAN LIKE"DOSVEDANYA."

WHICH MEANS "TWO VEDANYAS."

AND "VOHTA-KA," WHICH I BELIEVEMEANS I'D LIKE TO WANG NEED IN

THE NEAREST FOUNTAIN, PLEASE.

BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGE.

AND FOR ALL THESE OLYMPICS,RUSSIA IS PROMISING

UNPRECEDENTED SECURITY MEASURES.

NOSSURPRISING, OF COURSE, GIVENALL THE THREATS THE COUNTRY

FACES-- CHECHEN REBELS, KAZAKHFUNDAMENTALISTS, RIDING PUSSY.

BUT THERE'S ONE GROUP THAT'SMORE DANGEROUS THAN ALL OF THOSE

COMBINED-- THE GAYS.

YEAH.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

NO, NO, WE'RE ALL SCARED.

( LAUGHTER )RUSSIA'S OLYMPICS ARE ENDANGERED

BY HOMOSEXUALS WHO INSIST ONEXISTING DURING THEM.

( LAUGHTER )THAT'S WHY LAST JUNE, VLADIMIR

PUTIN SIGNED A LAW BANNING ALLHOMOSEXUAL PROPAGANDA, INCLUDING

PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION, ORDISPLAYING SYMBOLS LIKE A

RAINBOW FLACK.

GOOD THINKING.

BECAUSE THE VISIBLE SPECTRUM HASALWAYS HAD A GAY AGENDA.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

I MEAN, IT EXPLAINS WHY WE'REALWAYS HEARING ABOUT ROY G. BIV,

BUT NEVER MRS. G. BIV.

WHERE IS SHE, ROY?

SOME IN THE L.G.B.T. COMMUNITY,WHICH CONSIDER STANDS FOR

SOMETHING-SOMETHING-SOMETHING-TE

SOMETHING-SOMETHING-SOMETHING-TERRORIST, ARE THREATENING TO

STAGE A GAY-IN.

>> THERE'S ALL SORTS OF ABUTTINGPROTEST MOVEMENTS AGAINST THE

WINTER OLYMPICS BECAUSE OF THEHOMOPHOBIC STANCE OF PUTINS AND

THE RUSSIAN LAWS.

>> THERE SHOULD BE WEARING OFRAINBOW COLORS.

THERE SHOULD BE PROTESTS.

THERE SHOULD BE MORE SPEECH.

>> AN OPENLY GAY SPADE SKATERWANTS TO GO THERE, WEAR A

RAINBOW PIN AND SAY, "I'M HERE,I'M GAY, AND I'M OKAY."

>> HEY, BLAKE, DO YOU REALLYTHINK YOU NEED TO WEAR A RAINBOW

PIN WHEN YOU'RE WEARING THE MANSPANX.

WE GET THE MESSAGE.

FORTUNATELY, RUSSIAN OLYMPICOFFICIALS HAVE COME UP WITH A

FOOL-PROOF WAY TO MAKE THEOLYMPIC TORCH A LITTLE LESS

FLAMING.

>> PICTURES SHOWING THE OFFICIALUNIFORM FOR VOLUNTEERS AND

STAFF, BRIGHTLY COLORED SKIJABTS AND HATS FEATURING THE

OLYMPIC RING.

SOME PEOPLE SAY COLORS VERYSIMILAR TO THE RAINBOW FLAG THAT

SYMBOLIZES THE L.G.B.T.

MOVEMENT.

>> Stephen: YES, BY WEARINGTHESE RAINBOW UNIFORMS, THE

RUSSIANS ARE LEAVING THE GAYSWITH NO PROTEST SYMBOL.

AS PRESIDENT OF THE OLYMPICORGANIZES COMMITTEE

CHERNYSHENKO, TOLD "USA TODAY,"I AM VERY BRAVE, I WILL PUT MY

RAINBOW PIN ON AND LET ME GO TOJAIL IN RUSSIA BECAUSE I WILL BE

PROMOTING GAY RIGHT IN THEOLYMPIC GAME.

HAS ANYBODY NOTICED WHAT KIND OFUNIFORM GAME ORGANIZERS WILL BE

WEARING?

YES, WE TOOK YOUR RAINBOW.

SUCK IT, GAYS.

JUST-- JUST DON'T DO IT INRUSSIA.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

NOW, WHEN SOMEONE WATCHING THEOLYMPICS SEES RAINBOW CLOACTING,

THEY WON'T THINK THEY'RE A GAYPROTESTER.

THEY'RE JUST THINK THEY HAVETERRIBLE TASTE.

BRAVO, RUSSIA NO COUNTRY HASNEUTRALIZED THEN HITLER ONE-UPS

JESSE OWENS BY WEARING BLACKFACE.

I AGREE, NOT COOL, HITLER, NOTCOOL.

I'M SORRY, THIS IS WHERE I GETOFF.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )