Rocky Start at the Sochi Olympics

  • Aired:  02/10/14
  •  | Views: 51,325

Journalists continue to complain about conditions in Sochi, and protestors rally against Russia's anti-gay laws. (4:45)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT, , THANK YOU SO MUCH.

>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN,STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

>> Stephen: THANK YOU,LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

WELCOME TO THE REPORT.

GOOD TO YOU HAVE WITH US!

NATION, IF YOU'VE BEENWATCHING THE NEWS, YOU KNOW

THAT THE SOCHI OLYMPIC GAMESARE IN FULL SWING AND

EVERYBODY HAS GOT OLYMPICFEVER.

ALTHOUGH IT MIGHT JUST BETHE POISONOUS HOTEL WATER.

NOW I SPENT ALL WEEKENDWATCHING FIGURE SKATING.

I LOVE ALL THE MOVES, THETRIPLE SALCHOW, THE DOUBLE

AXLE, THE SHOELESS JOEJACKSON, ALL OF THEM.

FRIDAY, MY FRIEND, VLADIMIRPUTIN'S GAMES KICKED OFF

WITH A STUNNING OPENINGCEREMONY, IT WENT THROUGH

ALL OF RUSSIAN HISTORYINCLUDING THE GIANT CAT

INVASION.

I GOT TO SAY, I ONLY HAD ONECRITICISM.

YOU DO THE HISTORY OF RUSSIAAND NO GIANT INFLATABLE

REAGAN KNOCKING DOWN ABERLIN WALL.

COME ON.

BUT NO SURPRISE, FOLKS.

THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA HAD TOFIND THE PROBLEM.

>> THE MOST GLARING SNAFUCAME DURING THE SHOWCASE

MOMENT OF THE OPENINGCEREMONY, THOSE FIVE

DESCENDING SNOW FLAKES WERESUPPOSED IT TO MELD INTO

OLYMPIC RINGS.

BUT THE FIFTH ONE ON THERIGHT MALFUNCTIONED.

>> Stephen: NO, IT DID NOTMALFUNCTION.

IT IS JUST THAT THE IOC ISSO LITIGIOUS THAT EVEN THE

OLYMPICS ARE NOT ALLOWED TOSHOW THE OLYMPIC LOGO.

(LAUGHTER)AND CHECK YOUR FACTS--

(APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: CHECK YOUR FACTS,

EVERYBODY, THAT'S A FACT.

IN WRITING.

>> THESE SPOILED JOURNALISTSNEED TO QUIT TALKING ABOUT

THE U.S. BOBSLEDDER WHO GOTSTUCK IN THE HOTEL BATHROOM

AND HAD TO BREAK THROUGH THEDOOR.

OKAY, THAT'S JUST BONUSSTRENGTH TRAINING.

(LAUGHTER)NOW OUR GUYS WILL BE

PREPARED TO BUST THROUGH ANYDOORS ON THE BOBSLED TRACK.

(LAUGHTER)ALL OLYMPICS HAVE LAST

MINUTE CONSTRUCTION ISSUES.

ON THE PLUS SIDE, THISYEAR'S BIATHELON COMBINED

CROSS-COUNTRY SKIING WITHHANGING DRYWALL.

THAT'S A FIRST.

(LAUGHTER)BUT NATION, YOU KNOW, IT'S

NOT ONLY THE MEDIA ATTACKINGTHESE OLYMPIC GAMES.

THEY'RE ALSO UNDER THREATFROM EXTREMIST TERROR GROUP

THE GAYS.

(LAUGHTER)NOW LAST YEAR PRESIDENT

PUTIN TOOK A HARD LINEAGAINST THIS THREAT BY

BANNING ALL GAY PROPAGANDA.

PROTESTORS CAN NOW FACE JAILTIME PROMOTING ANYTHING PRO

GAY FROM A PRIDE FLAG TO ARECLAIMED BARN WOOD COFFEE

TABLE.

(LAUGHTER)BIG SURPRISE, THE GAYS

AREN'T TAKING THIS LYINGDOWN, OR MAYBE THEY ARE, I

DON'T KNOW.

IT'S NOT MY SCENE.

(LAUGHTER)NOW, NOW THEY ARE

THREATENING TO RUIN THESOCHI GAMES.

>> GAY RIGHTS PROTESTORSRALLIED IN 20 CITIES AGAINST

RUSSIA'S ANTI-GAY LAW, THEYWANT OLYMPIC SPONSORS TO

SPEAK OUT AGAINST RUSSIALAWS THAT RESTRICT GAY

RIGHTS ACTIVITY.

>> NEW YORK, YOU HAD ANUMBER OF GAY ACT VISES

PROTESTING OUTSIDE THERUSSIAN CONSULATE UPSET

WITH THE ANTI-GAY LAWS INRUSSIA AND THEY POURED A RED

LIQUID LABLED VAMPIRE BLOODTO MAKE THEIR POINT.

>> Stephen: UNFORTUNATELY NOONE COULD TELL WHAT THAT

POINT WAS.

(LAUGHTER)SOMETHING ABOUT TRUE BLOOD

BEING CANCELLED?

I DON'T-- (LAUGHTER)

ANYWAY, IN SUPPORT OFAL-GAYDA PRESIDENT OBAMA

NAMED THREE OPENLY GAYATHLETES TO LEAD OUR OLYMPIC

DELEGATION WHICH THE HUMANRIGHTS CAMPAIGN GLOATED WAS

A FINGER IN THE EYE OFRUSSIAN PRESIDENT VLADIMIR

PUTIN, A FINGER IN THE EYE.

OR AS LESBIANS CALL IT,SCISSORING.

(LAUGHTER)OF COURSE, OH YEAH, OH NO,

IT'S UGLY BUSINESS.

OF COURSE, FOUR YEARS AGO ISAVED THE WINTER GAMES WHEN

I SPONSORED THE U.S. SPEEDSKATING TEAM AND DID A WEEK

OF SHOWS FROM VANCOUVER.

WELL, NATION, I AM GOINGBACK TO THE OLYMPICS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)IS SOMETHING I WOULD SAY IF

THEY WEREN'T IN RUSSIA.

(LAUGHTER)I CAN'T DO THAT.

I CAN'T DO THAT.

I CAN'T LEARN RUSSIAN.

IT WAS HARD ENOUGH LEARNINGCANADIAN.

I MEAN, TORE-ON-TO.

TORE-ON-TO.

IT'S A TONAL LANGUAGE.

I JUST CAN'T MASTER IT.

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