The 2013 Government Shutdown Wedding of the Century Pt. 1

  • Aired:  10/03/13
  •  | Views: 225,106

The government ruins 24 weddings scheduled at national monuments, so Stephen makes one couple's dream come true. (6:29)

APPARENTLY THERE IS ONEDOWNSIDE TO DEFUNDING THE

ENTIRE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.

JIM?

>> IMAGINE THE WEDDING OFYOUR DREAMS COMPLETELY

RUINED BECAUSE OF CONGRESS.

>> THE GOVERNMENT SAYS IT'SWORKING WITH 24 COUPLES WHO

WERE PLANNING OCTOBERWEDDING EVENTS AT NATIONAL

MONUMENTS.

COUPLES HAVE BEEN INFORMEDTHOSE EVENTS CAN'T TAKE

PLACE IF THE GOVERNMENTSTAYS SHUT DOWN.

>> MIKE AND MILA WERESCHEDULED TO GET MARRIED

THIS SATURDAY BEFORE THESHUTDOWN CLOSED THEIR

MEMORIAL AND CANCELLED THEIRPLANS.

>> WELL, MY FIRST IDEA WASTO JUMP THE FENCE AND JUST

DO IT ANYWAY BUT SHE CAN'TJUMP A FENCE IN A WEDDING

DRESS AND I DON'T WANT TO BEARRESTED ON MY WEDDING DAY.

>> THOUGH IF YOU WEREARRESTED ON YOUR WEDDING DAY

YOU WOULD SAVE A BUNDLE ONTHE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER.

(LAUGHTER)YOU SEE, FOLKS-- WITH

NATIONAL PARKS SHUTTERED,HUNDREDS OF COUPLES HAVE HAD

TO CANCEL THEIR WEDDING.

NOW I'M 100% IN FAVOR OF THESHUTDOWN.

BUT I FEEL BAD FOR MIKE ANDMYELIN, THEIR STORY IS

CAUSING A SHUTDOWN IN-- WELL,NATION, YOU KNOW, I PROMISED

YOU ON NIGHT ONE OF THESHUTDOWN THAT AS LEADER OF

THE COLBERT NATION AND EARLLORD OF THE AFTERSCAPE I

WOULD PROVIDE ALL CANCELLEDGOVERNMENT SERVICES.

AND THAT INCLUDES WEDDINGS.

NOW I DON'T USUALLYADVERTISE THIS, FOLKS, BUT I

AM ACTUALLY AN ORDERANSWERED MINISTER-- OR

DRAIN-- ORDAINED MINISTER OFTHE AMERICAN MARRIAGE

MINISTRY, ALL RIGHT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THIS IS THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS

MINISTRY CERTIFICATION YOUCAN GET ON-LINE WHILE ALSO

BEING ON THE TOILET.

SO I GOT TO ASK, WHAT DO YOUTHINK, NATION, DO YOU

BELIEVE THAT LOVE IS BIGGERTHAN THIS SHUTDOWN?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)DO YOU BELIEVE-- DO YOU

BELIEVE I SHOULD MARRY MIKEAND MYELIN ON MY SHOW!

>> YEAH!

WELL THEN THE NATION HASSPOKEN.

JIMMY, WE'RE HAVING AWEDDING!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN

WEDDING OF THE CENTURY.

FRIENDS, FAMILY, NATION, WECOME TOGETHER TONIGHT FOR

THE MARRIAGE OF MIKE ANDMYELIN.

PLEASE WELCOME TONIGHT'SGROOM MIKE AND HIS GROOMSMEN!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)MIKE, THANK YOU.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

TAKE YOUR PLACE, RIGHT OVERTHERE.

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY.

MIKE, HOW ARE YOU FEELING.

>> WICKED EXCITED.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

STAY FROSTY, MIKE, LONGNIGHT.

FIRST THING FIRST, GUY,BACHELOR PARTY.

LET'S DO THIS THING.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)READY?

BROS BEFORE HOSE.

LET'S DO IT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THERE YOU GO, ALL RIGHT,

GUYS, ALL RIGHT, THIS ISCAMEI, SHE'S A STRIPPER.

WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR CAMEI,THANK YOU SO MUCH, SORRY

ABOUT THAT.

ALL RIGHT.

WHO IS THE BEST MAN.

>> HE COULDN'T MAKE IT.

>> Stephen: NO PROBLEM.

I GOT A CELEBRITY TO STANDIN, HE WAS AVAILABLE, THANKS

TO THE FURLOUGHS AT THE PARKSERVICE, PLEASE WELCOME

SMOKEY THE BEAR.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

NOW MIKE, VERY IMPORTANT,VERY IMPORTANT MIKE, WHICH

NOW SHUT DOWN GOVERNMENTFACILITY WOULD YOU LIKE TO

HAVE HAD YOUR WEDDING AT?

THE JEFFERSON MEMORIAL?

THE GRAND CANYON, THEINTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION

OR THE CENTERS FOR DISEASECONTROL?

(LAUGHTER)IMPORTANT DECISION.

>> REALLY TOUGH ONE BUT IT'SGOING TO BE THE JEFFERSON

THAT IS WHERE OUR FIRST DATEWAS.

>> Stephen: BIG SPENDER.

NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,LET'S BRING IN THE

BRIDESMAIDS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)HEY GIRLS.

HEY?

HI.

YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, LADIES.

FIRST THING'S FIRST.

THE BACHELORETTE PARTY, SHOT,SHOT, SHOT.

READY?

HOSE BEFORE BROSES, THEREYOU GO.

THERE YOU GO.

ALL RIGHT, NOW IT'S TIME FORYOUR-- THERE YOU GO.

IT'S TIME FOR YOUR STRIPPER(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> OKAY.

COOL IT DOWN, COOL IT DOWN.

NOW LADIES IT'S A FAMILYSHOW.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT ISTIME FOR OUR RING BEARER.

CHRISTOPHER?

GREAT JOB, GREAT JOB.

SAY HELLO TO CHRISTOPHER,ARE YOU READY?

ARE YOU READY?

ALL RIGHT, SHOT, SHOT, LET'SDO THIS THING.

ALL RIGHT THERE WE GO.

ALL RIGHT THERE YOU GO,CHRISTOPHER, ALL RIGHT, ALL

RIGHT, COME ON, LET'S DO IT.

ALL RIGHT, GREAT, ALL RIGHT.

GOOD JOB.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)GOOD JOB.

NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN

WAITING FOR.

ALL EYES FOR MYELIN LEE,TONIGHT'S LOVELY BRIDE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)SHE'S NOT COMING.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)SHE'S NOT COMING.

THE BRIDE'S NOT COMING.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

I HOPE