Women's History Month - Impossible Body Standards & Appetizing Beauty Products

  • Aired:  03/06/14
  •  | Views: 78,602

Societal pressure to be thin leads to millions of eating disorders, and the beauty industry serves an all-you-can't-eat buffet. (5:44)

AND FOLKS, FOLKS, THAT LANDMARKRULING COULD NOT

HAVE COME AT A MORE APPROPRIATETIME BECAUSE WOMEN'S HISTORY

-- I'M SORRY.

I MEANTWOMYN'S HERSTORY MONTHSTRATION.

FOR THE RECORD, I WON'T BEMENTIONING ANY AFRICAN AMERICAN

WOMEN.

YOU ALREADY HAD YOUR HISTORYMONTH.

DON'T GET GREEDY.

BUT I DO WANT TO TALK TONIGHTABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S CLOSE TO

ALL WOMEN'S HEARTS-- WOMEN'SBODIES.

THERE'S A LOT OF PRESSURE ONWOMEN TO BE THIN THESE DAYS, AND

ALL DAYS.

NOW, SOME WOMEN SAY, "SCREW IT.

I'M BIG.

I'M BEAUTIFUL.

DEAL WITH IT."

LIKE KERRY WASHINGTON, WHOSHOWED UP AT THE OSCARS WITH A

HUGE BEER GUT.

BRAVE YOUNG LADYBUT SADLY, MANY FALL VICTIM TO

SOCIETAL PRESSURE.

IN THE U.S. ALONE, 20 MILLIONWOMEN SUFFER FROM AN EATING

DISORDER AT SOME TIME IN THEIRLIVES.

AND IT'S STARTING EARLIER ANDEARLIER.

DID YOU KNOW SOME WOMEN ONLYWEIGH 8 POUNDS?

STOP READING "COSMO."

AND IT'S NOT JUST HOW MUCHLADIES LOSE.

IT'S WHERE THEY LOSE IT FROM.

>> THE DANGEROUS THIGH GAPTREND.

HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS?

THIS IS AN OBSESSION AMONG SOMEYOUNG WOMEN TO GET SO SKINNY

THAT THEIR THIGHS DON'T TOUCHWHEN THEIR FEET ARE TOGETHER.

>> RUNWAY MODELS HAVE IT.

>> WOMEN DANGEROUSLY OBSESSEDWITH GETTING A THIGH GAP.

>> Stephen: YES, YOUNG GIRLSARE OBSESSED WITH HAVING A THIGH

GAP.

I BLAME THE IMPOSSIBLE BODYSTANDARD SET BY SPONGEBOB.

( LAUGHTER )THEN AGAIN, THEN AGAIN IT DOES

MAKE THINGS EASIER FOR THIS GUY.

AND IT IS NO SURPRISE THAT 40%OF WOMEN FEEL THEY ARE

CONSTANTLY DIETING.

THE OTHER 60% ARE STARTING THEIRDIETS TOMORROW.

I SWEAR.

FOLKS, TO ME, IT'S OBVIOUS WHATIS GOING ON HERE-- SOCIETY HAS

INTRINSICALLY LINKED A WOMAN'SVALUE TO HER OUTWARD APPEARANCE

THEREBY UNDERMINING HER STATUSAND STRENGTHENING THE

PATRIARCHAL HEDGEMONEY.

WHAT?

WHAT'S THAT?

OH, WOW!

I JUST GOT A MASTERS IN WOMEN'SSTUDIES FROM WELLESLEY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

AND I DESERVE THIS, FOLKS.

I DESERVE THIS BECAUSE I HAVELEARNED A TON ABOUT THE LADIES

FROM WATCHING THEIR COMMERCIALS.

FOR INSTANCE, I KNOW WHICHSHAMPOOS MAKE THEIR HAIR MOVE IN

SLOW MOTION.

I KNOW THE CHEESE THAT MAKESTHEM LAUGH.

AND I KNOW THE TAMPONS THAT HELPTHEM RIDE BIKES.

THAT'S JUST FOR LADIES.

I TRIED USING ONE IN SPIN CLASSAND ENDED UP IN THE EMERGENCY

ROOM.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

AS A FEMINIST-- I UNDERSTANDCHICAGO HAS A NAKED BIKE RIDE

EVERY SUMMER.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

MIGHT COME IN HANDY.

FOLKS, AS A FEMINIST, I SAYWOMEN NEED TO GIVE

THEMSELVES A BREAK.

THAT'S WHY I'M SO EXCITED ABOUTA NEW PRODUCT THAT LETS WOMEN

ENJOY ALL THE FOOD THEY WANT,JUST NOT WITH THEIR MOUTHS.

>> EXPERIENCE THE UNIQUE COOLINGSENSATION OF FROZEN YOGURT.

NEW DIAL FROZEN YOGURT BODYWASH.

WRAP YOUR SKIN IN COOLINGMOISTURE FOR SKIN SO

REFRESHINGLY SOFT, PEOPLE WILLNOTICE.

>> Stephen: YES, HE NOTICEDTHAT SHE SHOWERED WITH FROZEN

YOGURT AND HE'S ASKING TCB WHYDID YOU DO THAT?

( LAUGHTER )NOW, FOLKS, BESIDES FROZEN

YOGURT, DIAL IS ALSO RELEASING AGREEK YOGURT BODY WASH.

I JUST HOPE THEY DON'T MAKE ONEOUT OF THAT JAMIE LEE CURTIS

POOP YOGURT BECAUSE IT COULDMAKE FOR A MESSY SHOWER.

BUT YOGURT'S NOT THE ONLY THINGON THE MENU.

THE BEAUTY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX ISSERVING AN ALL-YOU-CAN'T-EAT

BUFFET.

>> TODAY'S MENU-- JUICYPOMEGRANATE, PERSIMMON, AND

LYCHEE SURPRISE.

POSITIVELY DELICIOUS.

>> AVOCADO,OLIVE, AND ALMOND.

>> THESE, THESE, AND THESE GO INHERE SO YOU CAN LOOK LIKE THIS.

>> IF YOU THINK YOU LIKE HOTCINNAMON BUNS OR HOT COCOA OR

COBBLER OR PINK FROSTED LAYERCAKE TO EAT, YOU HAVEN'T LIVED

UNTIL YOU SHOWER WITH THESEITEMS.

( LAUGHTER )>> Stephen: LADIES, ARE YOU

GETTING THIS?

YOUR LIFE IS INCOMPLETE IFYOU'RE NOT BATHING IN CAKE.

AND THESE PRODUCTS DON'T JUSTMAKE YOU LOOK GOOD ENOUGH TO

EAT.

THEY MAKE YOU EDIBLE.

AND ISN'T MAKING WOMEN INTO ACONSUMABLE PRODUCT WHAT THE

BEAUTY INDUSTRY IS ALL ABOUT?

BECAUSE ONCE YOU SMELL LIKE YOUHAD A THREE-WAY WITH THE KEEBLER

ELF AND COOKIE PUSS, MEN WILLEAT YOU UP.

>> MY AGREE!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )I ONLY HAVE ONE CRITICISM.

WHY ARE WOMEN BEING PORTRAYED ASNOTHING MORE THAN SWEET LITTLE

THINGS?

WHY CAN'T THEY BE SAVORYENTREES?

I DREAM OF A DAY WHEN YOUNGWOMEN LOOFA WITH A PORTERHOUSE

STEAK, USE A MASHED POTATOCONDITIONER AND A MANWICH

SELF-TANNER.

( LAUGHTER )THIS IS WOMEN'S HISTORY MONTH,

GODDAMN IT.

AND I SAY IT'S TIME TO SEE WOMENAS MORE THAN JUST PIECES OF MEAT

BECAUSE NOW WE CAN GET THEM TOMARINATE THEMSELVES.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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