Time Travel Research in Cyberspace

  • Aired:  01/07/14
  •  | Views: 24,013

Michigan Tech researchers scour the Internet in the hopes of finding time travelers. (3:53)

EVERYBODY.

[CROWD CHEERING]EVERY DAY OUT THERE YOU HEAR

ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT RAISINGTAXPAYER MONEY ON USELESS

SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH.

STUDIES ON DO YOU RECOLLECTPEEN -- DUCK MIGRATION.

IT'S D AND A ALPHABETICAL.

PREPARE THE MICHIGAN TECHUNIVERSITY HAS FINALLY DONE

SOMETHING USEFUL BY SEARCHINGTHE INTERNET FOR EVIDENCE OF

TIME TRAVELERS.

[LAUGHTER]TO TELL US HOW WE TURNED TO KTBC

OFTEN NEWS LEADER.

>> TO SEE IF THEY COULD SPOT ATIME TRAVEL BY SEARCHING FOR

EVENTS THAT HAVEN'T HAPPENEDYET.

FOR EXAMPLE THEY LOOK FOR POPEFRANCIS BACK IN 2011.

>> Stephen: IT SEEMS LOGICALIF YOU'RE AN ADVANCED

CIVILIZATION FROM THE FUTURETHAT HAS FINALLY UNRAVELED THE

MYSTERIES OF SPACE TIME YOU BLOWYOUR COVER WITH HASH TAB POPE

FRANCIS.

ALTHOUGH IF I COULD TIME TRAVELI WOULD GO BACK TO 1930'S

GERMANY AND COME UP BEHINDHITLER.

TODAY THAT'S THE POLAND ADOLPH,THAT'S THE POLAND.

I'VE HAD IT.

[CROWD CHEERING]UNFORTUNATELY DESPITE THE SIZE

OF THE SEARCH NEW TIME TRAVELERSWERE DISCOVERED.

YET SOMEHOW, I KNOW THAT IN THEFUTURE THESE GUYS WON'T BE

RECEIVING ANY MORE RESEARCHGRANTS.

[LAUGHTER]ANYWAY, THAT SETTLES IT.

TIME TRAVEL DOES NOT EXIST.

>> NOT SO FAST STEPHEN COLBERT.

>> Stephen: WHO ARE YOU?

>> I'M THE TIME TRAVELING BRANDYTHIEF.

I HAVE APPEARED ON YOUR SHOW INTHE PAST.

[LAUGHTER]>> Stephen: GREAT.

IN THE PAST.

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

>> OH, IS IT.

THEN WHERE DID I GET THISNEWSPAPER DATED YESTERDAY.

>> Stephen: OH MY GOD.

SO YOU'RE TELLING ME TIME TRAVELDOES EXIST.

>> I THINK YOU'LL FIND THEANSWER IN THE BOTTLE OF BRANDY

UNDER YOUR DESK.

>> Stephen: THERE'S A BOTTLEOF BRANDY UNDER MY DESK.

>> NOT ANYMORE, HA HA HA.

>> Stephen: BRANDY THIEF.

>> WHILE WE'RE AT IT COLBERT, ISTHIS YOUR CAR.

>> Stephen: I NEVER PICKED ACARD.

>> PICK A CARD.

OH MY GOD.

IT IS.

[APPLAUSE]>> YOU SEE STEPHEN WHAT YOU

FAILED IS A STUDY DISPROVED TIMETRAVEL MAY HAVE DONE THE

OPPOSITE.

>> Stephen: ARE YOUSUGGESTING WE MAY ALL BE TIME

TRAVELERS, THAT THE PRESENT ISIN FACT JUST A FUTURE OF PEOPLE

RIDING THE TIME STREAM FROM THEPAST?

>> UH, YES, YES.

MAYBE I DON'T KNOW.

I'M GETTING A LITTLE CONFUSEDABOUT WHOSE FROM THE FUTURE AND

WHOSE NOT.

WHAT YEAR IS IT?

>> Stephen: 2014.

>> THANK GOD, I JUST WROTE 2013ON A CHECK THIS MORNING.

I MUST TRAVEL TO THE FUTURE ANDCALL MY BANK.

POOF.

[LAUGHTER][APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: WHERE DID HE GO.

THE TIME TRAVELING