The Word - Whuh-How?

  • Aired:  04/11/12
  •  | Views: 11,835

Stephen rarely sees military members and families because they make up only 1% of the U.S. population, and not the 1% that belongs to his tennis club. (3:55)

SOLVED.

KIDS, GO TO TOWN ON THAT OREO PIZZA.

IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.

OF COURSE, I SUPPORT THE FAMILIES OF THE TROOPS WHOLE HEARTLET, WHOLE TROOPEDLY, AND

SUPPORT FAMEDLY.

BUT, OF COURSE, I WANT TO DO MORE, WHICH LEAVES ME JUST ONE QUESTION, AND IT'S TONIGHT'S WORD.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) FOLKS, IN MY DAILY LIFE, I DON'T SEE THAT MANY MEMBERS OF THE

MILITARY BECAUSE THE TROOPS AND THEIR FAMILIES MAKE UP ONLY 1% OF THE U.S. POPULATION AND NOT

THE 1% THAT BELONGS TO MY TENNIS CLUB.

( LAUGHTER ) NOW, I-- I HAVE DONE MY RESEARCH ON THE TROOPS-- THAT'S ALL THE

"HURT LOCKER." -- BUT IT TURNS OUT MILITARY FAMILIES CHALLENGES EVEN I

DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT.

ACCORDING TO THE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE, THE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE FOR MILITARY SPOUSES IS OVER

THREE TIMES THE NATIONAL UNEMPLOYMENT RATE, BECAUSE MILITARY FAMILIES MOVE 10 TIMES

MORE OFTEN THAN CIVILIAN FAMILIES, AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE WHO U-HAUL CHARGES TO

DRIVE A TRUCK TO BAHRAIN.

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) NOW, ON TOP OF THAT, THERE ARE OVER 150,000 SINGLE PARENTS

SERVING IN THE MILITARY, AND THERE IS VERY LITTLE IN-COUNTRY CHILD CARE, AT LEAST UNTIL THE

PENTAGON DEVELOPED A CAMEO BABY BJORN, AND FREQUENT DEPLOYMENTS DON'T JUST AFFECT HUMAN FAMILY MEMBERS.

WE'VE ALL SEEN THE TOUCHING REUNIONS BETWEEN RETURNING SOLDIERS AND THEIR DOGS.

>> DADDY'S HOME.

>> Stephen: ALMOST AS MOVING AS REUNIONS BETWEEN SOLDIER ASKS THEIR CATS.

( LAUGHTER )

>> DADDY'S HOME!

( APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: I GOTTA TELL YA,

THAT GETS ME RIGHT-- HOLD ON,

HOLD ON!

OKAY, OKAY!

( LAUGHTER ) SO HOW CAN WE HELP?

WELL, WE COULD ALL ENLIST SO THERE WOULD BE SHARED SACRIFICE AND FEWER DEPLOYMENTS, BUT

UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH A RARE MEDICAL CONDITION CALLED PRE-TRAUMATIC

STRESS DISORDER.

ONE WOMAN, RANDY CAIRN, WHOSE HUSBAND SERVES IN AFGHANISTAN SAYS THE ANSWER IS AS SIMPLE AS

NEIGHBORS HELPING NEIGHBORS OR AT LEAST NOT DROPPING A DIME ON THEM.

>> I HAVE A NEIGHBOR WHO HAS CALLED THE BOARD OF HEALTH ON US BECAUSE MY GRASS GOT TOO TALL

BECAUSE I WAS JUGGLING A LOT,

AND WHEN I WAS FREE, 3:00 IN THE MORNING WASN'T A REALLY GOOD TIME TO BRING THE LAWNMOWER OUT.

>> Stephen: NO, IT'S NOT.

3:00 A.M. IS DRUNKEN WEED BACKING TIME.

( LAUGHTER ).

OF COURSE, THAT NEIGHBOR WHO COMPLAINED COULD HAVE JUST MOWED HER LAWN BUT MAYBE HE DIDN'T

REALIZE SHE'S A MILITARY SPOUSE.

AS THE FIRST LADY HAS SAID, IT'S VERY EASY FOR US TO RECOGNIZE THE MEN AND WOMEN IN UNIFORM

BECAUSE THEY'RE IN UNIFORM, BUT THEIR FAMILIES, SERVE, TOO ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YES.

WELL SAID.

SO I BELIEVE THAT THE ANSWER IS CLEAR-- THE FAMILIES NEED TO START WEARING UNIFORMS.

( LAUGHTER ).

WE CAN MAKE SOME NEW RANKS.

WIFE FIRST CLASS, BRIGADIER HUSBAND, FIRST PETTY TWEEN,

BOMBARDIER GRANDMA, AND DRILL SERGEANT BABY.

( LAUGHTER ) DROP AND GIVE ME A LODE IN YOUR PANTS!

BECAUSE ONCE WE CAN SEE THE MILITARY FAMILIES, WE WON'T FORGET THEIR SACRIFICE ANY MORE

THAN WE FORGET THE SACRIFICE OF OUR TROOPS.

I MEAN, I TALK ABOUT THE WAR IN AFGHANISTAN ALL THE TIME

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