Coal Rolling

  • Aired:  07/17/14
  •  | Views: 44,641

Smoke-belching diesel vehicles allow drivers to make a bold political statement against the environment. (4:31)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> HEY, WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY, THANK YOU SOMUCH.

FOLKS, I DON'T KNOW ABOUTYOU, BUT I FOR ONE AM JUST

SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THELEFTIE LIBERAL

ENVIRONMENTALISTS TRYINGTO GUILT ME INTO DOING

THINGS LIKE RECYCLING ANDENERGY EFFICIENT LIGHT BULBS

AND NOT THROWING OLD CARBATTERIES INTO THE TANK AT

SEA WORLD.

YES, THOSE GREENS HAD MESEEING RED UNTIL THIS NEW

TREND BLEW MY MIND.

(LAUGHTER)MAGENTA.

>> IF YOU SEE A TRUCK INFRONT OF YOU BELCHING OUT

CLOUDS OF THICK BLACK SMOKE,COULD BE TROUBLE.

OR COULD BE A NEW TRENDCALLED ROLLING COAL.

>> DRIVERS PAYING THOUSANDSOF DOLLARS TO SHOOT BLACK

SMOKE AT OTHER PEOPLE ON THEROAD.

>> A NEW TREND CALLEDROLLING COAL.

>> ROLLING COAL, THAT'S WHATIT IS CALLING.

>> OW, ROLLING COAL OR AS WEUSED TO CALL IT A CLOGGED

AIR FILTER. FOR TOO LONG THOSEEARTH HUGGERS HAVE SHOVED THEIR

AGENDA DOWN OUR THROAT.

FINALLY THERE IS A WAY TOSHOVE OUR AGENDA DOWN THEIR

LUNGS.

SO HOW DOES ROLLING COALWORK?

OR BASED ON WHAT I KNOWABOUT EXHAUST SYSTEMS, NOT.

>> THE WAY THIS WORKS ISDIESEL VEHICLES ARE MODIFIED

TO INCREASE FUEL TO THEENGINE.

THE EXTRA FUEL THAT IT BURNSOFF AS THICK BLACK SMOKE.

AND IF YOU ADD IN A SMOKESTACK OR TWO THE COST OF

RIGGING YOUR RIG TO ROLLCOAL CAN BE ABOUT $5,000.

>> Stephen: $5,000.

SOUNDS LIKE A LOT BUT IT'SWAY CHEAPER THAN STRAPPING A

WEBER TO YOUR TESLA.

(LAUGHTER)AND ROLLING COAL ISN'T JUST

SMOKE BELCHING PUBLICNUISANCE, IT'S A SMOKE

BELCHING PUBLIC MESSAGE.

>> SOME SAY THEY ROLL COALBECAUSE IT'S FUN BUT MANY OF

THOSE WHO ARE DOING IT AREMAKING A POLITICAL

STATEMENT.

EITHER THUMBING THEIR NOSESAT THE OBAMA

ADMINISTRATION'S EFFORT TOLOWER CARBON EMISSIONS OR

JUST PLAIN FLIPPING OFFENVIRONMENTALISTS OR AS THEY

CALL THEM NATURE NUFFIES, THEONES WHO HATE ON HUMMERS TRUCKS

AND SUVs BUT LOVE THEIRPRIUS.

IN FACT, THE BLACK SOOTSPEWED BY COAL ROLLERS IS

OFTEN REFERRED TO AS PRIUSREPELLENT.

>> YEAH, BABY, PRIUS REPELLENT.THE ONLY OTHER WAY TO KEEP A

PRIUS AWAY FROM YOU IS DRIVINGOVER 45 MILES PER HOUR.

NOW A LOT OF COAL ROLLERS,FOLKS, A LOT OF COAL ROLLERS

OR CO-ROS AS NO ONE EVERCALLS THEM ARE EVEN

UPLOADING HILARIOUS VIDEOSOF THEM BLASTING SMOKE AT

PEOPLE STUPID ENOUGH TO WALKOR RIDE A BIKE.

AND IT'S GREAT FOR MEETINGTHE BABES.

>> DO YOU SMOKE?

>> YES, I DO.

>> STAND BY.

>> THAT WOULD MAKE ANY WOMANSWOON.

WITH THE POSSIBILITY OFBRAIN DAMAGE.

AND THEY DON'T DO TO ANYONEELSE WHAT THEY'RE NOT

WILLING TO DO TO THEMSELVES.

>> YOU SEE THAT, CLEAN AIRCROWD? YOU SEE THAT?

IF YOU ARE AGAINST COALROLLING, YOU HATE BLACK

PEOPLE.

AND IF YOU ASK ME, THAT'SSHAMEFUL.

AND IF YOU ASK ME, WOULD YOUIMPLICITLY DID BY WATCHING

THIS SHOW, I SAY COALROLLING IS THE BEST NEW WAY

TO STICK IT TO MOTHER EARTHSINCE PAINT CANNIN' WHERE YOU

DUMP OLD PAINT INTO A RIVER.

OR PORPOISE CORKING WHEREYOU HAMMER CORKS INTO THE

BLOW HOLES OF DOLPHINS.

WELL, WELL, FOLKS, I WANTIN.

TONIGHT I AM ROLLING THIS,THIS BABY IS PURRING WITH A

PURE 4 CANON DIESEL ENGINEBLADE RUNNER MANIFOLD AND-- A

PAIR OF NUTS SO JIMMY,LET'S FIRE HER UP.

WHOOO!

(APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: YEAH!

YEAH!

HOW'S THIS FEEL?

HOW DOES THAT FEEL, LEFTIES?

HUH?

HOW DOES THAT FEEL?

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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