The Word - Thrift Justice

  • Aired:  01/20/14
  •  | Views: 30,560

A ban on a lethal injection drug has state officials thinking outside of the box for new ways to put people in a box. (6:14)

(LAUGHTER)NOW FOLKS, IF YOU WATCH THIS

SHOW AND I HOPE YOU DO, YOUKNOW THAT I SUPPORT THE

DEATH PENALTY.

THE ANCIENT BABYLONIANS HADIT RIGHT, AN EYE FOR AN EYE,

A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH. WHICHMEANS YOU OWE ME TWO MOLARS

DR. BRILLSTEIN.

BUT SUDDENLY, KILLINGPRISONERS IS NOT AS EASY AS

YOU'D HOPE. ONE OF THE DRUGSUSED IN THE 32 DEATH PENALTY

STATES ARE NOW RUNNING OUT.

>> IT'S SOMETHING CALLEDPINTOBARBITAL.

>> THE SUPPLY OF THESEDATIVE BEGAN TO DRY UP TWO

YEARS AGO.

>> AFTER EUROPEANHUMAN-RIGHTS GROUPS SPOKE UP

AGAINST THE DRUG'S USE INEXECUTIONS.

A DANISH DRUG MAKERRESPONDED BY CUTTING OFF ITS

DISTRIBUTION FOR USE INCAPITAL PUNISHMENT.

>> Stephen: THOSE DAMN DANISH!

THEY WON'T SEND US THEIRDEATH DRUGS BUT WHO KNOWS

HOW MANY LIVES THEY'VE CUTSHORT WITH THEIR DELECTABLE

PASTRIES.

I DON'T KNOW BUT, FOLKS, IDON'T KNOW BUT, BUT I HAVE

HAVE COPEN-HAD IT UP TO HEREWITH

THESE DAMN DANES.

DON'T THEY UNDERSTAND THATIF WE DON'T GET OUR HANDS ON

THESE DEATH DRUGS SOON,SOMEONE MIGHT NOT DIE?

LUCKILY, THERE'S A WAY TOKEEP THE EXECUTIONS ROLLING

AND IT BRINGS US TOTONIGHT'S WORD.

THRIFT JUSTICE.

>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IHAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT

STATES ARE THE LABORATORIESOF DEMOCRACY.

AND WHEN IT COMES TO THEDEATH PENALTY, IT'S AN

ACTUAL LABORATORY AND THERAT IS A HUMAN BEING.

NOW IN TEXAS-- IN TEXASPRISON OFFICIALS ARE SO

DESPERATE TO GET THEIR HANDSON THE DRUG THAT THEY HAVE

FALSIFIED DESCRIPTIONS ANDLIED TO PHARMACIES.

WHY GO THROUGH ALL THATTROUBLE, TEXAS.

YOU CAN GET POWERFUL DRUGSON-LINE AS LONG AS THE

OFFICIAL CAUSE OF DEATH IS A19 HOUR BONER.

(LAUGHTER)AND TEXAS IS NOT, THEY'RE

NOT THE ONLY STATE THAT'STHINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX FOR

NEW WAYS TO PUT PEOPLE IN ABOX.

SO IS OHIO.

>> DENNIS McGUIRE WASEXECUTED BY LETHAL INJECTION

WITH A COMBINATION OF DRUGSNEVER BEFORE USED IN THE

UNITED STATES.

>> IT'S A SEDATIVEPAINKILLER COMBINATION BEING

USED BECAUSE OHIO'S FORMEREXECUTION DRUGS DRIED UP.

>> THIS IS A COMBINATIONTHAT HAD NEVER BEFORE BEEN

USED IN LETHAL INJECTIONS.

THEY ARE TYPICALLY USED FORCOLONOSCOPIES.

>> Stephen: SOUNDS LIKE AWIN-WIN, WHILE THEY'RE

EXECUTING HIM, THEY CANSCREEN HIM FOR POLYPS.

OF COURSE-- (APPLAUSE)

PEOPLE, ALL THE PEOPLE OUTTHERE, ANYONE NOT STRAPPED

TO A TABLE WERE ALL UP INARMS ABOUT KILLING A MAN

WITH AN UNTESTED COCKTAIL.

BUT FOLKS, FEDERAL JUDGEGREGORY FROST FOUND THAT

OHIO IS FREE TO INNOVATE ASIT EVOLVES IN ITS PROCEDURES

TOWARDS ADMINISTERING CAPITALPUNISHMENT.

YES, OHIO IS FREE TOINNOVATE.

AFTER ALL THEY ARE THE HOMEOF THE WRIGHT BROTHERS WHO,

REMEMBER, INVENTED THEFLYING ELECTRIC CHAIR.

(LAUGHTER)THERE IS JUST A LITTLE

HITCH.

THE DEADLY DRUG MIX HAD ONEFATAL FLAW.

THE CONVICT, 15 MINUTE DEATHSTRUGGLE WAS DESCRIBED BY

ONE WITNESS AS HORRIFIC.

AND THAT'S A PROBLEM BECAUSEAMERICANS WANT THE

GOVERNMENT TO KILL PEOPLEFOR US, BUT WE DON'T WANT TO

FEEL OOKY.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE ALWAYSTRYING TO FIND THAT DEATH

SWEET SPOT.

LUCKILY, SOME STATES-- SOMESTATES OUT THERE WHO

UNDERSTAND THIS PROBLEM LIKEWYOMING KNOW THAT ALL

MORALLY COMPLEX ISSUES HAVETHE SAME ANSWER.

MORE GUNS.

JIM?

>> A WYOMING LAWMAKERPUSHING THE USE OF FIRING

SQUADS AS AN ALTERNATIVEFORM OF EXECUTION FOR THOSE

ON DEATH ROW.

>> YES.

BRING BACK FIRING SQUADS.

WITH SO MUCH GUN VIOLENCE INAMERICA, SHOULDN'T WE SHOOT

AT LEAST ONE PERSON WHODESERVES IT?

AND FIRING SQUADS-- (APPLAUSE)

I BELIEVE THIS MIGHT JUST BEME BUT FIRING SQUADS ARE A

GREAT WAY TO THROW ANEXECUTION ON A BUDGET.

>> WYOMING ALLOWED THE USEOF THE GAS CHAMBER IF LETHAL

INJECTION IS NOT AVAILABLE.

ACCORDING TO STATE SENATORBRUCE BURNS BUILDING AN

OPERATING GAS CHAMBER ISIMPRACTICAL AND A FIRING

SQUAD IS THE CHEAPESTOPTION.

>> OKAY.

SO IF WE'RE JUST TRYING TOSAVE SOME SCRATCH, I GOT ALL

KINDS OF IDEAS.

THE DRUG MAY BE IN SHORTSUPPLY IN PRISON BUT NOT IN

VETERINARIAN'S OFFICES WHEREIT'S THE PREFERRED METHOD

FOR THE EUTHANASIA OF PETS.

SO JUST PUT YOUR DEATH ROWINMATE IN A DOG COSTUME AND

THEN TELL THE VET HE BIT THENEIGHBOR.

YOU CAN BURY HIM IN THE YARDNEXT TO THE CAT.

HEY-- AND HEY, FOLKS, YOUKNOW WHAT ELSE IS FREE?

GRAVITY.

OKAY.

WE GOT PLENTY OF GRAVITYHERE AND LAST TIME I CHECKED

AMERICA STILL HAS TALLBUILDINGS.

I SAY JUST SHOVE THECONDEMNED OFF THE SEARS

TOWER, IF HE SURVIVES THEDROP, REMEMBER HE'LL LAND IN

CHICAGO AND SOMEONE WILLSHOOT HIM.

THE POINT IS-- (APPLAUSE)

AS LONG AS WE'RE TALKINGABOUT NEW WAYS TO PERPETRATE

THE DEATH PENALTY, THERE ARENO BAD IDEAS.

NOTHING IS OFF THE TABLE.

OOH, WE COULD BEAT HIM TODEATH WITH A TABLE.

(LAUGHTER)BUT YOU KNOW-- COME TO THINK

OF IT, WHY ARE WE DOING ALLTHE WORK HERE.

WE SHOULD MAKE CAPITALPUNISHMENT BYOE.

BRING YOUR OWN EXECUTION.

WHATEVER YOU LIKE, CHAINSAW,CURLING IRON IN A BATHTUB,

CHOKEABLE MONOPOLY PIECE.

YOU KNOW, YOUR CHOICE.

AND DON'T WORRY THAT IT'SCRUEL AND UNUSUAL

PUNISHMENT.

BECAUSE IF WE'RE CRUEL OFTENENOUGH, IT WON'T SEEM

UNUSUAL.

AND THAT'S THE WORD.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.