Blitzkrieg on Grinchitude - Gretchen Carlson & Christian Nation CHRIST-mas Tree

  • Aired:  12/13/10
  •  | Views: 52,099

Gretchen Carlson trusts an anonymous slurring woman hanging around a school at night, and the Christian Nation CHRIST-mas Tree declares independence from taste. (4:12)

EVERYBODY.

NATION, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

NATION, WE MUST NEVER FORGET

THAT CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT THE

BIRTH OF OUR SAVIOR.

THAT'S WHY IN MY HOUSE THE GIFTS

UNDER THE TREE AREN'T JUST

WRAPPED, THEY'RE SWADDLED.

THIS IS THE BLITZKRIEG ON

GRINCHITUDE.

>> HO, HO, HO.

OOOOHFUL.

♪ HALLELUJAH ♪♪

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: FIRST BACKGROUND

IN THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS,

FLORIDA, WHERE THE TEAM AT WESH

CHANNEL 2, ORLANDO'S NEWS

LEADER, SOUNDED THE ALARM.

>> THIS HEATHROW ELEMENTARY MOM

WHO DOESN'T WANT TO BE

IDENTIFIED SAYS THE SCHOOL IS

TAKING HOLIDAY RESTRICTIONS TOO

FAR.

SHE JUST GOT THE GUIDELINES.

EVEN TRADITIONAL CHRISTMAS

COLORS ARE OUT.

>> YOU CAN'T USE RED AND GREEN.

>> Stephen: FORTUNATELY THIS

STORY WAS PICKED UP BY FOX AND

FRIENDS' RESIDENT MALL ELF.

>> THIS IS SO CRAZY I CAN'T EVEN

READ THE STORY.

THEY'RE NOT GOING TO LET RED AND

GREEN IN THE CLASSROOM.

HOW DO YOU EQUATE RED AND GREEN

WITH JESUS?

I DON'T GET IT.

TAKE AWAY THE NATIVITY SCENE.

NOW TAKE AWAY RED AND GREEN.

THAT'S CRAZY.

>> Stephen: IT'S CRAZY.

IT'S TOTALLY INSANE.

IT'S LIKE THEY'RE MAKING THIS

STUFF UP, WHICH THEY ARE,

BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THE LOCAL

SCHOOL TRICK, THE BANNING OF RED

AND GREEN IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE.

WELL, HOW WAS GRETCHEN SUPPOSED

TO KNOW?

SHE HAD SOME TRUSTWORTHY SOURCE.

>> RIDICULOUS.

DON'T USE THIS OR DON'T TALK

ABOUT THAT.

>> Stephen: AN ANONYMOUS,

SLURRING WOMAN HANGING AROUND A

SCHOOL AT NIGHT.

AND WHO CARES, WHO CARES IF THIS

STORY...

( APPLAUSE )

WHO CARES IF THIS STORY ISN'T

TRUE.

THIS IS WAR.

SO FOX AND FRIENDS, LET ME FEED

YOU SOME AMMUNITION THAT I TRUST

YOU WON'T FACT CHECK.

JIM.

ROLL MY ANONYMOUS SOARSES.

>> I WORK AT APPLEBEE'S.

BECAUSE OF THE LAST SUPPER,

THEY'RE BANNING TABLES OF 12 OR

MORE.

THERE GO ALL MY TIPS.

>> MY TOWN IS REMOVING ALL

LETTER Ts FROM SIGNS FOR

LOOKING TOO MUCH LIKE CROSSES,

NOW PEOPLE ARE HAVING ACCIDENTS

AT STOP SIGNS.

I THINK I HEARD THAT'S TRUE.

>> ANYONE WITH A WHITE BEARD AND

ROSIE CHEEKS WILL BE SHOT ON

SIGHT.

[WHISTLING]

[WHISTLING ZIP-A-DEE-DOO-DAH]

>> Stephen: IT'S A TRUE STORY.

SO GRETCHEN, START REPORTING

THESE STORIES IMMEDIATELY.

IF YOU DON'T, PEOPLE MIGHT

FORGET THE REASON FOR THE

SEASON, YOUR BASELESS

INDIGNATION.

BUT FOLKS, IT'S NOT ALL BAD NEWS

OUT THERE.

LAST YEAR I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE

CHRIST-MAS TREE, A CHRISTMAS

TREE WITH A WOODEN CROSS NAILED

IT TO, BECAUSE THE BEST PARTS OF

CHRISTMAS ARE THE REMINDERS OF

CHRIST'S SUFFERING.

THAT'S WHY EVERY YEAR I LOOK

FORWARD TO RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED

JUDAS.

WELL, THEY'VE OUTDONE THEMSELVES

THIS YEAR WITH THE NEW CHRISTMAS

NATION CHRIST-MAS TREE.

IT'S RED, WHITE AND BLUE.

THE CROSS IS LIST FROM WITHIN

AND IT PROVES THAT AMERICANS

LOVE JESUS, AND YES, WE ARE A

CHRISTIAN NATION.

IT'S LIKE GEORGE WASHINGTON AND

JESUS TEAMED UP AND DECLARED

INNOCENCE FROM TASTE.

( LAUGHTER )

BEST OF ALL... BEST OF ALL, THIS

TREE CAN BE USED YEAR ROUND,

CHRISTMAS, FLAG DAY, FOURTH OF

JULY.

HELL, THIS THING WOULD BE PRETTY

GOOD IN A GAY PRIDE PARADE.

MY REAL WORRY IS HOW IS IT GOING

TO BE MADE BETTER NEXT YEAR.

THERE'S NO REASON THOSE TWO

CROSSES CAN'T BE GUNS TOGETHER.

MAYBE ADD SOME NACHO CHEESE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, PUT SOME CITIES

ON THAT THING.

YEAH.

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