Tip/Wag - FDA & Ben & Jerry's

  • Aired:  06/24/14
  •  | Views: 21,194

The FDA pushes drug companies to include the adverse side effects of drugs in their tweets, and Ben & Jerry's eliminates genetically modified ingredients. (4:49)

FOLKS, I BELIEVE THERE ARE TWOSIDES TO EVERY STORY-- MINE AND

THE OTHER ONE I HAVE.

THIS IS TIP OF THE HAT, WAG OFTHE FINGER.

FOLKS, ANYBODY WHO KNOWS MEKNOWS I LOVE PRESCRIPTION DRUGS.

I LOVE HOW POWERFUL THEY ARE.

I LOVE HOW INTERCHANGEABLE THEIRBOTTLES LOOK.

IT'S LIKE PLAYING ENDOCRINEROULETTE.

ALSO I LOVE THE FIRST AMENDMENTWHICH IS WHY I'M GIVING A WAG OF

MY FINGER TO THE F.D.A. FORVIOLATING

BIG PHARMA'S FREEDOMOF TWEETS.

>> THE F.D.A. IS PROPOSING NEWGUIDELINES FOR DRUG INDUSTRY

POSTINGS ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

DRUG COMPANIES POSTINGINFORMATION ON TWITTER, FOR

EXAMPLE, WOULD HAVE TO INCLUDETHE BENEFITS AND MAIN RISKS.

>> Stephen: SORRY, YOUNG,HIP, TWITTER USERS.

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO SOMEPLACE ELSE TO LEARN THE DOPEST

NEWS ABOUT BONIVA.

OSTEOPEROSIS IS WHACK, YO.

UNDER THE NEW GUIDELINES, BIGPHARMA TWEETS WILL NOW HAVE TO

INCLUDE ALL SIDE EFFECTS ANDWARNINGS PRINTED ON THE PRODUCT

LABEL.

OH, COME ON!

THERE'S NO WAY THAT PFIZER COULDTELL ALL THEIR FOLLOWERS ALL THE

SIDE EFFECTS FOR VIAGRA INJUST 140 CHARACTERS.

VIAGRA HAS NINE SIDE EFFECTSINCLUDING PERMANENT DAMAGE TO

THE PENIS, LOSS OF SIGHT, ANDLOSS OF HEARING.

THAT IS SCARY STUFF.

I FOR ONE DO NOT KNOW WHAT IWOULD DO IF MY PENIS WENT BLIND

AND DEAF.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

IT WOULD HAVE TO GET A SERVICEDOG.

( LAUGHTER )WELL, AS ALWAYS, I AM HERE TO

HELP THE DRUG COMPANIES.

THERE'S A VERY SIMPLE WAY TOTREAT YOUR DRUG'S COMPLEX SIDE

EFFECTS -- EMOJIS.

EMOJIS CAN COVER EVERY POSSIBLESIDE EFFECT.

FOR DEPRESSION, JUST TWEET AFROWNY FACE.

RISK OF CARDIAC ARREST, A BROKENHEART.

EMOJIS CAN ALSO TELL PEOPLE TOAVOID THE DRUG IF THEY'RE

BIPOLAR.

OR THAT CLINICAL TRIALS CAUSEBLINDNESS IN MONKIES.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, IF THERE'SA RISK OF GENITAL PURPLING.

NEXT FOLKS--HUGE SIDE EFFECTFANS HERE TONIGHT.

( LAUGHTER )NEXT UP, FOLKS, SUMMERTIME IS

UPON US, AND THAT MEANS EVERYONEIS WORKING TO PERFECT THEIR

SWIMSUIT BODY.

AND FOR THOSE OF US WHO HAVE ALREADY ACCEPTED OUR

SWIMSUIT BODY, SUMMER ALSO MEANSICE CREAM.

NOW A RADICAL CHANGE AT BEN &JERRY'S HAS ME SO OUTRAGED THAT

I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALLSCREAM AT ICE CREAM.

>> BEN & JERRY'S IS HOPINGCUSTOMERS WILL APPRECIATE WHAT

IS NOT GOING INTO THEIR ICECREAM.

ACCORDING TO THE BURLINGTONPRESS, BEN & JERRY'S IS

SWITCHING TO NON-G.M.O.

INGREDIENTS, WHICH MEANS SOME OFTHE FAVORITE RECIPES WILL BE

CHANGED.

GEMETICALLY MODIFIED ORGANISMSARE PLANTS OR ANIMALS WITH

D.N.A. THAT HAS BEEN CHANGED TOPRODUCE NEW GENES OR TRAITS

>> Stephen: BEN & JERRY'S ISGETTING RID OF ALL GMO'S, WHICH

OF COURSE MEANS THE END OF THEIR

CONTROVERSIAL FLAVOR, THE ISLANDOF DR. MORE OREOS.

THEIR RASH DECISION IS A DIRECTTHREAT TO MY ICE CREAM, BECAUSE

IN A RECENT INTERVIEW AND JERRYWAS ASKED, WHAT IS YOUR

FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?"AND HE SAID BEN & JERRY'S

AMERICONE DREAM.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )EXCUSE ME.

EXCUSE ME!

BEN & JERRY'S AMERICONE DREAM.

CHECK THE LABEL.

IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT'S AMERICONEDREAM.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

THEY HAVE CUT OUT THE MOSTIMPORTANT INGREDIENT OF ALL--

ME.

WHICH CAN ONLY MEAN I MUST BE AGENETICALLY MODIFIED ORGANISM.

I MEAN, IT MAKES SENSE.

I AM HIGHLY RESISTANT TO APHIDSAND-- AND-- AND I'M ROUND-UP

READY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )KIDS, KIDS, DON'T TRY THAT AT

HOME UNLESS YOUR PARENTS BOUGHTYOU FROM MONSANTO.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS CURES-- THIS CURES GENITALPURPLING.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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