Colbert Super PAC - The Ham Rove Memorial Fund

  • Aired:  12/13/12
  •  | Views: 38,842

Stephen prays that Colbert Super PAC money is in a better place, and Ham's charitable fund scores a hefty donation from PO Box "Bite Me." (3:42)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

NATION, YOU KNOW AS WE SAY GOOD-BYE TO 2012 I'M GOING TO TAKE A MOMENT HERE TO BID

A FON FAIR WELL TO SOMEONE WE LOST THIS YEAR.

HAM ROVE, HAM WAS CHIEF STRATEGIST AND PRINCIPAL LUNCH METAPHOR COLBERT SUPER PAC.

THEN LAST MONTH TRAGEDY STRUCK WHEN HE FELL REPEATEDLY ON TO A KNIFE THAT I WAS HOLDING.

BEFORE WE COULD GET HIM TO A TOOK TORE HE WAS EATEN BY A DOG.

I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH HAM MEANT TO ME.

WELL, TECHNICALLY COY BUT IT'S A SUPER PAC SO LEGALLY I DON'T HAVE TO.

JUST LIKE I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU WHERE THE 773,704.83 OF SUPER PAC MONEY WENT.

I JUST HOPE AND PRAY THEY'RE BOTH IN A BETTER PLACE NOW.

WELL THAT BRINGS ME TO THIS LETTER THAT I RECEIVED FROM A GROUP CALLING ITSELF THE

HAM ROVE MEMORIAL FUND, WHICH I WAS SURPRISED TO LEARN I AM ON THE BOARD OF.

NOW IN THE LETTER THAT I SENT TO ME IT SAYS THAT THE FUND WAS FOUNDED TO HONOR HAM'S MEMORY WITH CHARITABLE GIFTS.

AND RECENTLY THE FUND RECEIVED AN ANONYMOUS DONATION OF $773,704.83.

NOW WHERE DID THAT SPECIFIC AMOUNT OF CASH COME FROM?

WELL, IT IS A ITS IT CAME FROM PO BOX BITE ME.

(LAUGHTER) NOW AS A BOARD MEMBER I WANTED THAT MONEY TO GO TO UNICEF.

UNFORTUNATELY THE REST OF THE BOARD FOUND OUT THAT UNICEF IS THE NAME OF MY YACHT.

(LAUGHTER) KEEP COLLECTING THOSE PENNIES, KIDS.

SO INSTEAD TONIGHT I'M PROUD AND SOMEWHAT SHOCKED TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE HAM ROVE

MEMORIAL FOUNDATION WILL BE GIVING $125,000 EACH TO DONNERS CHOOSE SANDY RELIEF

FUND TEAM RUBICON SANDY OUTREACH AND HABITAT FOR HUMANITY WHICH IS BUILDING HOUSES FOR STORM VICTIMS.

THE FUND IS ALSO GIVING $125,000 TO THE YELLOW RIBBON FUND WHICH HELPS INJURED SERVICE MEMBERS AND

THEIR FAMILY, THE REMAINDER OF THE MONEY AS PER HAM ROVE'S WISHES WILL BE SPLIT

BETWEEN THE CENTER FOR RESPONSIVE POLITICS AND THE CAMPAIGN LEGAL CENTER.

NOW YOU MIGHT WONDER WHY HAM ROVE, THE BRAINS AND OTHER ORGAN NEEDS BEHIND MY SUPER

PAC WOULD DONATE TO GROUPS FIGHTING FOR CAMPAIGN-FINANCE REFORM.

WELL, THERE ARE SOME STRINGS ATTACHED.

HAM STIPULATED THAT THE TWO GROUPS GET THE MONEY ONLY IF THEY NAMED THE CONFERENCE

ROOM AT THE CENTRE FOR RESPONSIVE POLITICS THE COLBERT SUPER PAC MEMORIAL CONFERENCE ROOM AND IN THE

CAMPAIGN LEGAL CENTER THEY WILL NOW HOLD THEIR MEETINGS IN THE HAM ROVE MEMORIAL

CONFERENCE ROOM.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) AND FOLKS, JUST THINK.

AS THE TIDAL WAVE OF MONEY CONTINUES TO ENGULF POLITICS AND THESE ADVOCATES FOR

TRANSPARENCY ARE MOANING ABOUT HOW POWERLESS THEY ARE TO STOP IT, LITTLE HAM HERE

WILL BE UP ON THAT WALL WATCHING THE WHOLE THING UNFOLD WITH RELISH.

AND MAYBE A LITTLE DIJON.

BUT ALAS IT IS TIME TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO OUR HERO.

SO DON'T BE SAD, NATION.

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A LITTLE BIT OF HAM ROVE IN OUR HEARTS AND ALSO AROUND OUR HEARTS.

(LAUGHTER) WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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