Paul Ryan's Marathon Time Gaffe

  • Aired:  09/04/12
  •  | Views: 35,563

Republican VP nominee Paul Ryan keeps stretching the truth about things that anyone can look up on the internet. (3:32)

EVERYBODY.

THANKS SO MUCH.

[CROWD CHEERING]

>> Stephen: THANK YOU.

PLEASE.

IF YOU WATCH THIS SHOW, YOU KNOW I'M NO FAN OF FACT.

LOOK IT UP.

[LAUGHTER]

ESPECIALLY WHEN FACTS ARE USED BY DEMOCRATS WHO ATTACK GOOD MEN LIKE PAUL RYAN.

[LAUGHTER]

NOW THE LIBERAL TRUTH BADER GINSBERG IS HAVING A FIELD DIE WITH RIENS' GOP CONVENTION

SPEECH THEY CALLED MISLEADING,

REATH TAKINGLY MISHONEST.B OR AS PAUL RYAN MIGHT PUT IT,

THEY SAID HE WAS BREATHTAKING AND WOULD BE GREATEST AT PLEADING THE WORLD.

IN A WORD, HE SHOWN.

[LAUGHTER]

AND NOW THEY'VE JUMPED ON SOMETHING HE SAID THIS WEEKEND.

>> ARE YOU STILL RUNNING?

>> YES, I HURT A DISC IN MY BACK.

>> Stephen: YOU RAN A MARATHON AT SOME POINT.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: I HAVE TO ASK WHAT IS YOUR PERSONAL BEST.

>> 103 -- TWO HOURS 60 SOMETHING.

>> Stephen: YOU GO DOWN TO MIAMI UNIVERSITY.

NOW UNDER THREE HOURS.

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD TO PUT THAT IN PERSPECTIVE, LANCE ARMSTRONG FINISHED THE NEW YORK CITY

MARATHON IN UNDER THREE HOURS AND HIS WATER BOTTLE WAS PHONE OF METHYLATE CHEETAH PLASMA.

BUT ACCORDING TO NOTORIOUSLY LIBERAL JOGGING RAG RUNNER'S WORLD, PAUL RYAN HAS RUN ONE

MARATHON AND FINISHED IN FOUR HOURS, ONE MINUTE 25 SECONDS.

IS THAT A MISTAKE.

THREE FOURS, FOUR HOURS.

MARATHON RUNNERS DON'T KEEP TRACK OF THESE THINGS.

THEY JUST DO IT FOR THE LOVE OF THE NIPPLE PLEADING.

IT WASN'T UNDER THREE HOURS.

TIME HAS A WELL-KNOWN LIBERAL BIAS.

THAT'S WHY THE REPUBLICANS HAVE TRIED TO STOP THE CLOCK AT THE 1890'S.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT PAUL, MY MAN, BE SMART ABOUT THIS.

YOU KEEP STRETCHING THE TRUTH ABOUT THINGS THAT ANYONE CAN LOOK UP ON THE INTERNET.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU GOT TAUGHT CHECK WITH SOMETHING THAT'S UNCHECKABLE.

LET'S TAKE ABOUT YOUR HOT GIRLFRIEND WHO LIVE IN CANADA.

THERE IS NO WAY TO VERIFY THAT.

OR HERE'S A GOOD ONE.

I ONLY SLEEP WITH FOUR HOURS A NIGHT.

THAT'S ALL I NEED.

THE POINT IS I DON'T BRAG ABOUT THESE THINGS.

IT GOES AGAINST THE OATH OF HONOR I SWORE TO MY SENSE UPON ACHIEVING MY 10TH LEVEL.

THIS IS IN PORTUGUESE SPEAKING COUNTRIES.

I NEED THESE MARSHALL ARTS SKILLS WHEN I'M CREEPING AROUND AT NIGHT CRETING FAMOUS WORKS OF

ART AS BANKSY.

[APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE I'M BANKSY JUST ASK ANY

OF ANY SHADOW BROTHERS IN THE ILLUMINATE.

BROTHERS, LET'S ILLUMINATE PAUL RYAN INTO OFFICE, OKAY.

IT'S THAT EASY PAUL.

JUST CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF.

ORS MY