Stephen Colbert: Wax On & Wax Off at Madame Tussauds Pt. 1

  • Aired:  12/06/12
  •  | Views: 53,231

Madame Tussauds honors Stephen with a wax likeness, so he visits his future waxy companions in Washington, D.C. (6:03)

BUT I'M NOT SURPRISED THAT THE PEOPLE WANT ME TO HAVE THIS HONOR.

I'VE BEEN HONORED IN SO MANY WAYS.

IN LEGO FORM, IN ICE CREAM, IN SPACE STATION TREADMILL, AS A PLUSH HOCKEY MASCOT.

WHICH OF COURSE LET ME REALIZE MY DREAM OF HAVING DRUNK TOWNIES THROW BEER CANS AT ME.

BUT NOW THE ULTIMATE HONOR HAS COME.

BEING IMMORTALLIZED AT MADAME TUSSAUD'S WAX MUSEUM.

THEY-- I KNOW, I KNOW, IT'S IMPRESSIVE.

THEY HAVE THE WORLD'S BIGGEST COLLECTION OF GLASSY EYED FAKE CELEBRITIES OUTSIDE OF THE BRAVO NETWORK.

NOW -- WHILE MADAME TUSSAUD IS A STORIED INSTITUTION WITH 200 YEARS OF EXCELLENCE,

COULD EVEN THEY CAPTURE MY ESSENCE?

FIND OUT TONIGHT IN.

>> STEPHEN COLBERT, WAX ON AND WAX OFF AT MADAME TUSSAUD THE.

LAST JUNE I SAT DOWN WITH THE ART FRIST MADAME TUSSAUDS SO I COULD GET WAXED.

>> JUST LEAVE A LANDING STRIP, OKAY, DO THAT FOR ME?

THEY WALKED ME THROUGH THEIR PAINSTAKING PROCESS.

>> WHEN THEY MAKE YOUR FIGURE THEY WILL INSERT EVERY HAIR IN YOUR FIGURE'S

INDIVIDUALLY, EVERY EYE LASH, EVERY EYEBROW, IT TAKES SIX WEEKS.

>> THAT'S FANTASTIC.

>> ISN'T IT.

>> I'M SO GLAD THAT EFFORT ISN'T GOING INTO CURING CANCER.

>> IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO SOMEWHERE WE WANT TO RE-CREATE THAT.

>> I DO.

I HAVE A BLACK PANTHER CRAWLING OUT OF MY BUTT CRACK.

>> THAT'S AWESOME.

>> IT SAYS WELCOME TO THE LAIR AND THE PANTHER IS GOING-- SO YOU HAVE A BOX OF

EYEBALL ITS.

>> WE DO.

>> DO THESE COME FROM CHINESE PRISONERS.

>> THEY ARE GLASS, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT CHINESE PEOPLE ARE MADE OF.

I HAVE NO IDEA.

(LAUGHTER) NEXT I SLIPPED INTO SOMETHING MORE REVEALING SO THEY COULD MEASURE MY EVERY

NOOK AND CRANNY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I FEEL DIRTY.

>> SO DAN, HOW DID YOU GET THIS JOB.

>> I'M THE GENERAL MANAGER AT THE MADAME IN WASHINGTON D.C..

>> AS A CHILD DID YOU DREAM OF TURNING PEOPLE SLOWLY IN A CIRCLE.

>> OH, IT BURNS!

>> I DID IT.

MY WORK WAS DONE.

I SAT, THEN THE ARTISTS GOT TO WORK.

WHILE THEY ATTEMPTED TO REPRODUCE MY WAXY PALLOR I HEADED TO THE MUSEUM IN WASHINGTON D.C. TO CHECK OUT

MY FUTURE WAX COMPANIONS.

MY GUIDE WAS AN INCREDIBLY LIFE LIKE DAN RAGOSKY.

(LAUGHTER) WE SHOULD GET GOING.

>> COME THIS WAY.

>> WE STARTED WITH A HISTORY OF THE MUSEUM.

>> IS IT TUSSAUD.

>> WHY SO FRENCH?

>> SHE WAS A FRENCH WOMAN.

>> OKAY, BUT YOU'RE IN AMERICA NOW, WHY NOT CHANGE THE NAME TO MAMMA DOESY'S

HOUSE OF CANDLES.

>> IT HAS BEEN AROUND FOR 200 YEARS.

>> OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

THEN IT WAS OFF TO THE HALL OF CELEBRITIES.

>> SO THIS IS ALL WAX.

>> THAT'S CORRECT.

>> I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING HERE.

I'M NOT JUST SOME HAM TURE COMING HERE AND LICKING WAX FIGURINES.

>> YOU MAY NOT LICK THEM.

>> LET'S MOVE ON.

THIS IS TIGER WOODS.

>> THIS IS SENATOR JACKSON.

>> OKAYMENT I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE HIM BECAUSE THIS IS THE LONGEST I HAVE EVER

SEEN HIM GO WITHOUT SCREAMING THE WORD [BLEEP].

>> JOHNNY DEPP.

>> CAN'T LICK ANY OF THESE.

>> CAN'T LICK ONE OF THESE.

>> NO.

>> CAN I LICK IT AND YOU DON'T WATCH.

>> I AM NOT LOOKING.

>> COULD DO YOU HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO DO SO.

>> WITHOUT DOES, CAN I TALK TO MADAME TUSSAUD PLEASE.

>> SHE DIED IN 1850.

>> I'M SO SORRY.

I DIDN'T KNOW.

APOLOGIZE THAT WAS INSENSITIVE OF ME.

VERY GOOD.

THAT'S EXCELLENT.

WOW.

YOU REALLY CAPTURED ME HERE.

MY HAIR IS NOT THAT SALT AND PEPPERY AND I'M NOT THIS FAT BUT THAT IS MY JAW.

>> THIS IS GEORGE CLOONEY.

>> I GET THAT A LOT.

BUT IT'S VERY GOOD.

>> THIS IS JENNIFER LOPEZ.

THIS DOESN'T SEEM APPROPRIATE.

THIS IS NOT IN ANY WAY THIS DOES NOT FEEL RIGHT TO ME THAT I'M DOING THIS.

HOW MUCH WAX DID YOU NEED TO CREATE MY BADONKADONK.

>> IT IS FIBREGLASS, ARE YOU A SEEDED FIGURE.

>> THEN WHY DID YOU MAKE A CAST OF YOUR GENITALS.

>> WE DID NOT MAKE A CAST OF YOUR GENITALS.

>> SOMEONE MADE ME SQUAT IN A BUCKET.

>> THAT WAS NOT US.

>> TWO DAYS AFTER YOU LEFT SOMEONE CAME AND SAID THAT.

>> I A STUMD WAS YOU GUY.

>> IT WAS NOT.

>> JON BON JOVI.

>> DURING HIS BRIEF LESBIAN PERIOD.

>> NO.

>> OR THE GREAT TIGER WOODS.

>> NO, THIS IS MARVIN GAYE.

MARVIN GAYE.

>> OKAY FROM THE 1960s.

>> WHOA, HERE WE GO.

CORY FELDMAN.

>> I THINK IT'S CORY FELDMAN.

>> NO, I'M PRETTY SURE IT IS YOKO ONO.

>> OKAY, DID YOU USED TO HAVE THE BEATLES HERE BUT THEN WHEN YOU INSTALLED HER

THEY ALL LEFT?

>> WE HAVE NOT HAD THE BEATLES YET.

>> WORD TO THE WEITZ, IF HISTORY IS ANY GUIDE.

>> ALL RIGHT, A LONG HAUL.

>> WHEN WE RETURN TO STEPHEN COLBERT WAX ON AND WAX OFF.

AND MADAME