Colbert Super PAC - Stephen Colbert Occupies Occupy Wall Street Pt. 1

  • Aired:  10/31/11
  •  | Views: 588,395

Stephen heads to Wall Street to gain the trust of Occupy Wall Street protesters and take over the movement. (7:20)

WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU A FLAT

TAX, WATCH OUT.

(LAUGHTER)

, SO FOLKS, RECENTLY I WENT DOWN

TO OCCUPY WALL STREET TO OFFER

THEM THIS EXCITING

CO-OPPORTUNITY.

I ARRIVED AT ZUCOTTI PARK READY

FOR A REVOLUTION.

MY MISSION: BLEND IN.

BECOME ONE OF THEM AND HOPEFULLY

EARN THEIR TRUST.

I HAD TO FIND A WAY INTO THEIR

WORLD.

JUST AS THE SKIES OPENED UP, SO

DID MY WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY.

IT WAS TIME FOR A CALL TO ACTION

TEND LOCKOUT.

END IT.

I WAS MAKING CONNECTIONS.

DO YOU GUYS BELIEVE WALL STREET

PLANNED THIS RAIN?

>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

>> STOP THE RAIN!

STOP THE WALL STREET RAIN!

>> AS I LEFT THE PARK, I HAD A

REAL SENSE OF WHAT THESE YOUNG

PEOPLE WERE FIGHTING FOR.

WHERE'S THE LIMO?

I HAD FOUND MY REBELS.

TWO YOUNG IDEALISTS WHO COULD

GET ME INSIDE THE MOVEMENT.

I INVITED THESE OCCUPIERS TO

OCCUPY MY PENTHOUSE SUITE

OVERLOOKING ZUCOTTI PARK.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR TALKING TO ME

TODAY.

>> I WILL, STEPHEN, THANK YOU.

LET'S JUST GET YOUR NAMES HERE,

YOU ARE?

>> JUSTIN RIVAS.

>> AND YOU ARE KETCHUP.

>> Stephen: I THINK I MIGHT HAVE

MISHEARD THAT.

>> KETCHUP.

>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A LAST

NAME, KETCHUP?

>> I HAVE ONE.

I'D PREFER NOT TO SAY ON CAMERA.

>> Stephen: ARE YOU WANTED BY

THE POLICE?

>> NO.

>> Stephen: ARE YOU AFRAID OF

BRINGING SHAME UPON YOUR FAMILY?

>> UM....

>> Stephen: IS IT A DIFFICULT

NAME?

>> IT'S THIS I....

>> Stephen: IS IT HIT SFLER

>> NO.

>> Stephen: NOT KETCHUP HITLER.

>> NO, NOT KETCHUP HITLER.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

I WANT TO TALK TO PEOPLE WHO CAN

MAKE SOME DECISIONS.

>> WE CAN'T DO THAT FOR YOU.

>> NO.

>> Stephen: WHY AM I TALKING TO

YOU TWO?

>> THEY CAME TO CONSENSUS WITHIN

THE PRESS GROUP THAT WE WOULD BE

TWO PEOPLE WHO WOULD BE GOOD TO

TALK TO BUT WE'RE JUST HERE AS

AUTONOMOUS INDIVIDUALS.

>> Stephen: SO WHO SPEAKS FOR

THE MOVEMENT?

>> NO ONE.

>> Stephen: DO IT.

>>

>> WHAT I'M THERE TO DO....

>> Stephen: SPEAK FOR EVERYBODY.

>> I CAN'T.

>> Stephen: YES, YOU CAN.

>> THIS IS A TEMPERATURE

CHECK....

>> Stephen: A TEMPERATURE CHECK?

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> Stephen: WILL RECALLLY OR

RECTALLY.

>> Stephen:

>> IF PEOPLE AGREE THEY DEAL

THIS.

>> Stephen: SO RETACKILY.

>> IF THEY DISAGREE AND NOT

FEELING IT THEY'LL DO THIS.

>> Stephen:?

WHY

>> BECAUSE WE WANT TO GAUGE IF

WE'RE GETTING CLOSE TO CONSENSUS

>> Stephen: I SEE A LOT OF

ANTI-CORPORATE STUFF DOWN THERE.

WHAT'S YOUR BEEF WITH SUCCESSFUL

PEOPLE?

>> I LOOK AROUND AT THE WORLD

THAT I'M IN AND I DON'T LIKE

WHAT I SEE BECAUSE I'D LIKE TO

LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE WHERE MY

OWN HAPPINESS AND COMFORT ARE

NOT BORNE OUT OF THE SUFFERING

OF OTHERS AND THE DESTRUCTION OF

THE ENVIRONMENT.

>> SOMEONE CALL FOR THIS?

>> Stephen: COMING!

(LAUGHTER)

SURE, JUST BRING IN IT.

OKAY.

THANKS.

AHH.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU GUYS WANT ANYTHING?

STEAK AND EGGS?

BY A COB, SAUSAGE?

(LAUGHTER)

SO... OH, MY GOD.

THIS IS GOOD.

GO ON.

>> THEY HAVE ALL THIS MONEY AND

THEY KNOW THAT PEOPLE ALL OVER

THE WORLD ARE SUFFERING AND

HUNGRY AND COLD AND THEY ARE

CHOOSING NOT TO DO ANYTHING

ABOUT IT OR CERTAINLY NOT TO DO

ENOUGH ABOUT IT.

(LAUGHTER)

AND I SEE A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH

THAT ETHICALLY AND....

>> Stephen: OKAY, LET'S CUT

THROUGH THE BULL (BLEEP) HERE

FOR A SECOND.

I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU PEOPLE ARE.

I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT YOUR

MESSAGE IS OR WHERE THIS IS

GOING BUT I WANT IN.

WHAT'S IT GOING TO TAKE FOR ME

TO BE PART OF THIS?

>> YOU NEED TO COME DOWN TO THE

PARK, STEPHEN.

YOU NEED TO MAKE YOUR VOICE

HEARD.

>> Stephen: DO YOU ACTUALLY VOTE

OR JUST DO THIS?

IS THERE ANY VOTING?

>> THERE'S CONSENSUS BUILDING.

>> Stephen: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

>> WHEN A PROPOSAL IS BROUGHT

FORWARD AND THE DISCUSSION HAS

BEEN HAD AND CONCERNS ARE

BROUGHT UP AND POSSIBLE BLOCKS

ARE BROUGHT UP....

>> Stephen: WHAT'S A BLOCK?

>> A BLOCK IS THIS?

>> Stephen: WHAT'S THIS?

>> POINT OF PROCESS.

LET'S SAY WE'RE ON AN AGENDA

TOPIC....

>> Stephen: WHAT WOULD BE AN

AGENDA TOP SNICK

>> FOR EXAMPLE....

>> Stephen: RICH ARE BAD.

>> NO, AN AGENDA TOPIC MIGHT

BE....

>> Stephen: ARE THEY BAD?

>> SEE, I MIGHT MAKE A POINT OF

PROCESS HERE.

>> Stephen: I'M GOING TO BLOCK

THAT.

>> YOU CAN'T.

A POINT OF PROCESS OVERRULES

EVERYTHING....

>> Stephen: SO YOU'RE THE

LEADING OF THIS DISCUSSION?

>> I'M FACILITATING.

>> Stephen: YOU BLOCKED.

>> YOU BLOCKED.

>> Stephen: NO, I HAVE TO STAY

ON THE ROPES OVER HERE.

>> MIC CHECK.

THIS IS THE FACILITATOR WE'VE

EMPOWERED HER TO LEAD THE

DISCUSSION AND KEEP IT MOVING.

YOU NEED TO RESPECT THAT.

(LAUGHTER)

>> SOMEONE IS TALKING ABOUT

SOMETHING, THAT'S NOT THE STATED

AGENDA POINTS SOMEONE MIGHT DO A

POINT OF PROCESS TO SAY, YOU

KNOW, RIGHT NOW WE'RE ON A

DIFFERENT TOPIC.

>> Stephen: YOU GUYS SEEM LIKE A

CULT.

>> WE'RE NOT A CULT.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT A CULT.

THAT'S WHAT A CULT WOULD SAY.

>> Stephen: WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO

THINK ABOUT THIS MOVEMENT....

>> Stephen: OR CULT.

>> I BELIEVE IT'S A MOVEMENT.

PEOPLE ARE SPONTANEOUSLY

ACTIVATING, DECIDING, MAKING THE

DECISION TO JOIN GENERAL

ASSEMBLYS IN CITIES ALL OVER THE

COUNTRY.

>> I AM APART OF TWO CAUCUSES

AND PART OF WHY CAUCUSES EXIST

IS TO GIVE A SPACE FOR

MARGINALIZED VOICES.

>> Stephen: ARE YOU A

MARGINALIZED VOICE?

>> I AM A FEMALE-BODIED

PERSON....

>> Stephen: WHAT YOU ARE?

SORRY.

>> I'M A FEMALE-BODIED PERSON.

>> Stephen: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

>> IT'S A PERSON WHO HAS A

FEMALE FORM.

YOU....

>> Stephen: YOU TALKING ABOUT...

(LAUGHTER)

LADY BUMPS?

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT YOU?

WHAT YOU GOT DOWN THERE?

>> WHAT DO I GOT?

>> Stephen: YEAH.

>> I WORK WITH THE COMMUNITY

RELATIONS COMMITTEE.

>> Stephen: WHAT BODYED ARE YOU

>> I'M MALE BODIED.

>> Stephen: IS THERE A

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MALE BODIED

AND MALE OR FEMALE BODIESED OR

FEMALE?

>> NOT ALL PEOPLE WITH FEMALE

BODIES IDENTIFY AS WOMEN.

>> Stephen: SO IF I MEET

SOMEBODY DOWN THERE WHO SAYS

THEY'RE A WOMAN, I COULD BE IN

FOR A RUDE SURPRISE.

(LAUGHTER)

BECAUSE THEY MAY NOT BE FEMALE

BODIED.

>> I THINK YOU HAVE TO TRUST

YOUR INSTINCTS ON THAT ONE.

>> Stephen: I GENERALLY DO, BUT

I'VE BEEN BURNED BEFORE.

(LAUGHTER)

OKAY.

THE LEADER QSHGS DO YOU HAVE

ONE?

>> WE DON'T HAVE ONE.

>> Stephen: LET'S CREATE ONE, I

NOMINATE ME.

IS THERE A SECOND?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> I DON'T EVER GET CONSENSUS.

>> Stephen: I HEARD A SECOND.

IT'S ME, I'M YOUR LEADER.

>> I WOULD BLOCK THAT ONE.

>> Stephen: BUT I POINT OF

ORDERED IT AND I PUT IT UP FOR

SUPERCONSIDERATION.

(LAUGHTER)

>> NO GOOD.

>> Stephen: IT PASSED OVER THE

STORMY SEAS OF YOUR BLOCK.

OKAY?

THEN AT THE LAST MINUTE I GAVE

IT EXECUTIVE RUN THROUGH LIKE

THIS AND I WENT AROUND THE YOUR

CONCERN LIKE THAT AMEND SO I'M

THE LEADER NOW.

>> Stephen: TUNE IN TOMORROW

WHEN I GENEROUSLY OFFER TO

CO-OPT THE OCCUPY MOVEMENT.

DON'T THINK ABOUT IT AS TIT FOR

TAT.

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