Stephen's Grammy Nomination - Carol Burnett

  • Aired:  01/16/14
  •  | Views: 20,109

As the Grammy Awards approach, Stephen has a conversation with lifelong hero and recent enemy, Carol Burnett. (5:16)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY, THANK YOU SO

MUCH.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.

FOLKS, FOLKS, I DON'T KNOWIF YOU KNOW THIS BUT THEY

SAY, THEY SAY NICE GUYSFINISH LAST.

BUT IF THAT'S TRUE HOW COMEEVERY TIME I LOSE I'M A

COMPLETE DICK ABOUT IT.

LATELY I'VE BEEN ON A BIT OFA ROLL.

LAST YEAR I WON NOT ONE BUTTWO EMMY AWARDS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: FULFILLING MY DREAM

OF HAVING ONE FOR EACH KIDNEYTHEN LAST WEEK I WON THE

PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARD.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: IT MEANT MORE TO

ME THAN ANYTHING BECAUSE ITCAME FROM YOU, THE PEOPLE.

ALSO BECAUSE I DID NOT HAVETO BE PRESENT TO WIN.

(LAUGHTER)AND LOOK WHAT JUST CAME IN

THE MAIL TODAY!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)BOOM!

BEHOLD!

BEHOLD, THE PEOPLE HAVESPOKEN.

I AM THEIR CHOSEN ONE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)I SHALL CHERISH THIS MOMENT

FOREVER.

AND IT'S GONE.

(LAUGHTER)I MEAN WHAT ELSE IS THERE.

I MEAN DADDY NEEDS A FIX.

IS THERE-- ANYTHING ELSE TOWIN?

IS THERE ANY WORD FROM THENOBEL PEOPLE? ARE

THERE ANY HIGH SCHOOLSCIENCE FAIRS I CAN ENTER?

ANYTHING?

>> STEPHEN, YOU ARE UP FOR AGRAMMY.

>> THAT'S RIGHT!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.

THE GRAMMYS.

MY AUDIO BOOK OF AMERICAAGAIN HAS BEEN NOMINATED FOR

BEST SPOKEN WORD.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: I BET IT'S FOR

THE WORD CABINET ON PAGE 27.

I REALLY NAILED IT.

BUT FOLKS, THE COMPETITIONIS FIERCE.

I'M UP AGAINST A LOT OF GOODWORD SPOKENS.

PETE SEEGER, DAVID SEDARIS,BILLY CRYSTAL, CAROL

BURNETT.

NATION, I HAVE VOWED TOTRUST THESE ARTISTS WHOSE

WORK I GREATLY ADMIRE ANDI'M SURPRISED THAT I JUST

GOT A LETTER FROM MYLIFELONG HERO AND RECENT

ENEMY CAROL BURNETT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> SHE WRITES, DEAR STEVE.

>> SHE KNOWS PART OF MYNAME.

(LAUGHTER)>> I SAW ON YOUR SHOW THAT

YOU ARE GOING TO QUOTE CRUSHME LIKE A BUG.

YOU ARE A REAL CLASS ACT.

I AM NEVER SURPRISED WHENSOMEONE LIKE YOU SUCCEEDS IN

SHOW BUSINESS, KEEP UP THEGREAT WORK, BREAK A LEG AND

OTHER THINGS.

CAROL BURNETT.

FOLKS-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: I GOT TO SAY, IAM SPEECHLESS IT IS SO GREAT

WHEN YOUR HEROES LIKE YOURWORK.

I MEAN -->> STEPHEN.

>> CAROL BURNETT?

CAROL BURNETT, EVERYBODY!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> CAROL, CAROL, I JUST GOT

YOUR LETTER.

>> STEPHEN, I DON'T THINKYOU "GOT" MY LETTER AT ALL.

>> Stephen: OF COURSE I DID,IT'S RIGHT HERE.

>> STEPHEN, I WASN'TPRAISING YOU, DEAR.

I WAS BEING SARCASTIC.

>> Stephen: HA, HA, HA.

GOOD STUFF.

>> STEPHEN, TELL ME, DO YOUKNOW WHAT SARCASM MEANS?

>> Stephen: OF COURSE I DO.

IT'S LIKE WHEN SOMEONE SAYSI'M SO HUNGRY I COULD EAT A

HORSE.

>> THAT'S HYPERBOLE.

>> Stephen: TELL THAT TO THEHORSE I ATE.

GOOD STUFF.

>> STEPHEN, LET ME EXPLAIN,SARCASM IS SAYING THE EXACT

OPPOSITE OF HOW YOU FEEL TOMAKE A POINT.

OKAY, NOW, ALL RIGHT, FORINSTANCE, RIGHT NOW I COULD

SAY AFTER 50 YEARS IN SHOWBUSINESS, RECEIVING 6 EMMIES,

12 PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARDS,A PEABODY, A KENNEDY CENTER

HONOR, THE MARK TWAIN AWARDAND THE PRESIDENTIAL MEDAL

OF FREEDOM, BEING ON YOURBASIC CABLE TV SHOW IS THE

BIGGEST THRILL OF MY CAREER.

(LAUGHTER)(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

BUT I MEAN THE OPPOSITE.

>> Stephen: OH.

SO IT'S THE SECOND BIGGESTTHRILL OF YOUR CAREER.

>> HOW DO YOU DRESS YOURSELF?

>> Stephen: CAROL, IDON'T UNDERSTAND.

WHY WOULDN'T SOMEONE JUSTSAY WHAT THEY MEAN?

IT'S HARD ENOUGH FOR HUMANSTO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH

OTHER WITHOUT COUCHING THEIRMESSAGES IN SOME SORT OF

BIZARRE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVEEMOTIONAL GAME.

>> YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RERIGHT, STEPHEN, I AM SO

SORRY.

>> Stephen: YOU ARE?

>> NO, I WAS BEING SARCASTIC.

>> Stephen: LIKE THE HORSE.

>> RIGHT.

LOOK, ALL SARCASM ASIDE,STEPHEN, GOOD LUCK AT THE

GRAMMYS.

AND MAY THE BEST WOMAN WIN.

>> Stephen: I HOPE I DO.

CAROL BURNETT, EVERYBODY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

Loading...