Employment Non-Discrimination Act

  • Aired:  11/07/13
  •  | Views: 58,828

The Senate passes the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which prohibits employers from discriminating against members of the LGBT community. (3:49)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Stephen: WELCOME, WELCOME,

WELCOME ONE AND ALL!

MY FRIENDS, MY TRUE FRIENDS.

>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

WELCOME TO THE REPORT.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THANKYOU SO MUCH.

OH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,AFTER A GREETING LIKE THAT I

JUST WANT TO BLOW YOURBAGPIPE.

(LAUGHTER)FOLKS, I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT

WHEN IT COMES TO SEXUALEQUALITY IN THE WORKPLACE I

TAKE A BACKSEAT TO NO ONEEXCEPT MY DRIVER PABLO.

OKAY.

HE'S A GUY, BECAUSE IF YOUHAVE SEEN HOW WOMEN PARALLEL

PARK, HUH-UH.

BUT TODAY, FOLKS, I BELIEVETHAT WE AS A NATION CROSSED

AN IMAGINARY LINE THAT ISSUDDENLY ALL TOO REAL.

"THE COLBERT REPORT"'SSOMEONE ON MSNBC HAS MORE.

>> WE'RE WATCHING THE SENATEFLOOR WHERE THEY JUST PASSED

THE EMPLOYMENTNONDISCRIMINATION ACT WHICH

PROVIDES WORKPLACEPROTECTION FOR THE LGBT

COMMUNITY.

>> Stephen: YOU HEAR THATWORKPLACE COMMUNITY FOR THE

LGBT COMMUNITY.

THEY WANT TO MAKE IT ILLEGALFOR AN EMPLOYER TO

DISCRIMINATE AGAINST LESBIAN-- GAYS--

(LAUGHTER)BATMAN AND-- I KNOW THIS ONE,

I KNOW ONE, TARTAR SAUCE,YES.

WELL, THOSE INTO THE TARTARSAUCE LIFESTYLE.

NOW LUCKILY THIS ENDA BILLAPPLIES ONLY TO COMPANIES

WITH 15 OR MORE EMPLOYEES SOYOU'RE SAFE FOR NOW 14

BIGOTS MOVING AND STORAGE.

(LAUGHTER)NOW FOLKS, IF YOU THINK, IF

YOU ARE'S SAYING TO YOURSELFOH T WON'T AFFECT MY

WORKPLACE, FOLKS YOU'RE DEADWRONG.

AS THE AMERICAN FAMILYASSOCIATION WARNS, REST

ROOMS AND LOCKER ROOMS COULDBECOME LANDMINES FOR

DISPUTES AND DISTURBANCES.

AN ANATOMICALLY MALEEMPLOYEE WHO CLAIMS A FEMALE

GENDER IDENTITY MIGHT BEABLE TO DEMAND ACCESS TO THE

WOMEN'S REST ROOM.

NOW FOLKS IT'S ALREADYSTARTED HERE IN NEW YORK

CITY.x6THIS IS TRUE, AN ALL GENDER

REST ROOM SYMBOL.

LOOK AT THIS YOU GOT A GUY,YOU GOT A GIRL, THE NEXT ONE

OVER THERE IS ALREADYSPORTING A BONER AND--

(LAUGHTER)AND THE ONE ON THIS END IS

IN SOME SORT OF CRAZY SEXSWING.

NO WAY I COULD PEE IN THERE.

I WOULD GET STAGE FRIGHT.

NOW FOLKS IT IS A NIGHTMAREFOR EMPLOYERS.

AS THE FAMILY RESEARCHCOUNCIL COUNSELS, ENDA WOULD

FORCE RELIGIOUS BUSINESSOWNERS AND WORKPLACES SUCH

AS CHRISTIAN BOOK STORES TOACCEPT AS NORMAL

TRANSVESTITE AND DRAGQUEENS.

OH YEAH.

IT IS WELL-KNOWN THAT BETTEDID LETTER OVER HERE IS JUST

DOING THOSE CAB A RECEIPTACT UNTIL SHE LANDS HER

DREAM ACT OF FIGURINES OFJESUS PLAYING BASEBALL.

TODAY IT IS TRANSGENDER.

TOMORROW THE GOVERNMENT WILLTELL ME I CAN'T FIRE A

MERMAID.

I'M SORRY, EXCUSE ME, AHERMAFROTROUT.

NO MATTER WHAT IT COST KNEESMAKE HER CUBICLE WATERTIGHT.

THAT IS WHY BEFORE ENDATAKES EFFECT I'M GETTING RID

OF EVERYONE ON MY STAFF WHODOESN'T SHARE MY PERSONAL

SEXUAL PREFERENCES.

AND NOT JUST THELGBHGTVLMNOP CROWD, OKAY.

IF ARE YOU NOT A PREMIUMMEMBER OF TALL WOMEN

CARRYING HEAVY THINGS.COM,

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