Pope TBD & Souvenir Sales

  • Aired:  02/28/13
  •  | Views: 21,745

Tailors make three different vestments to fit any incoming papal body shape, and Pope Benedict XVI memorabilia sales skyrocket in Vatican City. (4:45)

SNUGGLEBEAR SANTI.

[LAUGHTER]

IN A RELATED STORY, FOLKS, THE WORLD IS NOW IN UNCHARTED THEOLOGICAL TERRITORY BECAUSE

WE'RE OFFICIALLY POPELESS.

WE'VE BEEN DISENPOPENATED.

>> WE'VE UNDERGONE A�� POPEECTOMYA5, POPE GOES THE WEASEL.

[LAUGHTER]

DURING HIS LAST DAY, THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS POPE TENDERED HIS RESIGNATION, SAID HIS

PERSONAL FAREWELLS AND AS WITH ALL DEPARTING POPES, THE VATICAN RAISED HIS VESTMENTS TO THE RAFTERS.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

OF COURSE, THIS WHOLE PAST WEEK HAS BEEN A BIT OF A WHIRLWIND.

HE DELIVERED HIS FINAL SERMON WHICH INCLUDED�i CONTROVERSIAL REMARKS.

>> HE EXPERIENCED MOMENTS OF GREAT JOY AND GREAT DIFFICULTY WHEN HE FELT THE LORD WAS SLEEPING.

>> Stephen: EXCUSE�r ME, GOD DOES NOT SLEEP.

HE HAS TO STAY AWAKE ALL THE TIME TO CATCH YOU MASTURBATING.

ALL RIGHT.

READ YOUR CATECHISM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

SO ON THIS MOMENTOUS NIGHT, I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU POPE BENEDICT FOR YOUR LEADERSHIP OF

MY FAIVMENT YOU'VE DONE THE LORD'S WORK WITH HONOR INTEGRITY.

THAT'S ENOUGH ABOUT WHAT IS HIS POPE.

LET'S TALK ABOUT WHO IS THE NEXT TOP PONTIFF.

NOBODY, NOT EVEN THE VATICAN TAYEOR KNOWS THE -- TAILOR KNOWS THE ANSWER.

>> WHOEVER IS THE CHOSEN THE TAILORS WILL HAVE HIS GARMENTS READY.

BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW THEY MAKE THREE SIZE.

>> Stephen: YES, THEY MAKE THREE VESTMENT SIZES.

OF COURSE, THE�i ROBES THEY DON'T USE ARE SENT TO THE SAME PLACE AS LOSING SUPER BOWL CHAMPION T-SHIRTZ.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

BUT THERE ARE CERTAIN FAVORITES TO BE THE NEXT POPE.

ACCORDING TO THE IRISH�r GAMBLING WEB SITE PADDY POWER IS CARDINAL PETER TURKSON OF GHANA LEADING

THE PACK AT 3-1.

THAT MAKES SENSE.

THE CHURCH IS IN A MESS RIGHT NOW AND THEY ALWAYS GIVE THE CRABBY CLEANUP JOB TO THE BLACK GUY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THE IRISH BETTING PARLORS ARE NOT ONLY ONES MAKING�r GREEN ON BYE BYE BENNY.

SINCE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THE POPE RETIRED IN 700 YEARS WE'RE SEEING SOMETHING TRULY HISTORIC,

POPE SOUVENIR BLOWOUT SALES.

THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS.

IF YOU ACT NOW, YOU'LL GET BEN BEN -- BENEDICT XVI MERCHANDISE AT THE LOWER PRICES.

WE HAVE TO TRY TO SELL THE ITEMS WITH HIS PICTURE AT DISCOUNT BECAUSE IN A FAW WEEKS PILGRIMS

AND TOURISTS WILL WANT GIFT AND MOMENTOS WITH THE NEW POPE.

YOU NO, I KIDS WANT THE MOST UP TO DATE MERCHANDISE LIKE POPEMON.

GOTTA BLESS THEM ALL.

THERE'S A TON OF OLD POPE BENEDICT MERCHANDISE TO MOVE.

POPE PLATES, T-SHIRTS, BASEBALL HATS, EVEN SMALL PIECES OF RED CARPET HE WALKED ON WHEN HE

VISITED MINIMUM MINCE STER CATHEDRAL IN 2010.

FOR EVERYBODY WHO HAS BEEN WONDERING ABOUT THE POPE, YES, THE CARPET MATCHES THE SHOES.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND EVIDENTLY THE SALES PITCH IS WORK.

>> RELIGIOUS MEMORABILIA SALES SKY ROCKETING IN VATICAN CITY.

ROSARIES WITH THE POPE'S PICTURE ARE THE BEST SELLING ITEM THEY HAVE.

YOU CAN GET YOUR POPE BENEDICT 16th STUFF RIGHT NOW, FOLKS.

>> Stephen: GET IT RIGHT NOW, FOLKS AS JESUS SAID IN MATTHEW 21:13 LOOK FOR THE SOUVENIR

STALLS PAST MONEY CHANGERS

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