Coming Out Benefits & Gay Rights

  • Aired:  01/30/13
  •  | Views: 32,613

Psychosomatic Medicine prints a study on gay men's stress levels, and conservatives have been saying gays should have equal rights since the beginning of this sentence. (3:20)

[EAGLE CAW]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[CROWD CHANTING STEPHEN] THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

WELCOME TO THE REPORT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

IN HERE AND OUT THERE, I GOTTA TELL YOU, FOLKS THIS IS THE AUDIENCE SO NICE THEY CHEERED ME TWICE!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

NATION, OUR WORLD BECOMES A LITTLE GAYER EVERY DAY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I'M STARTING TO THINK SOME DAYS MIGHT BE GAY.

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO FINDS IT SUSPICIOUS THAT SATURDAY AND SUNDAY ARE ALWAYS TOGETHER ON

THE WEEKENDS?

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND LET'S FACE IT, THESE DAYS, THE GAYS ARE ACCEPTED EVERYWHERE YOU GO.

THEY'RE LIKE VISA CARDS, ONLY THINNER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WELL, BRACE YOURSELVES, FOLKS, BECAUSE BEING GAY JUST GOT MORE FABULOUS.

>> A NEW STUDY SUGGESTS STRAIGHT MEN ARE MORE STRESSED OUT THAN MEN WHO ARE GAY OR BISEXUAL.

THE CANADIAN STUDY SETS OUT TO MEASURE WHETHER GAYS AND LESBIANS EXPERIENCE LESS OVERALL

ANXIETY AFTER COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET.

IN GENERAL, STRAIGHT MEN WERE FOUND TO BE MORE STRESSED AND DEPRESSED THAN THEIR GAY COUNTERPARTS.

>> Stephen: OF COURSE, THEY'RE LESS STRESSED-- THEY DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH WOMEN!

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHO ARE GREAT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THIS STUDY WAS PUBLISHED IN THE JOURNAL "PSYCHOSOMATIC MEDICINE," WHICH IS A WONDERFUL PUBLICATION.

THERE'S A PRINT VERSION AND AN ONLINE VERSION, OR IF YOU'RE ON THE GO, TRY THE VERSION THAT'S

ALL IN YOUR HEAD.

[ LAUGHTER ]

NOW, THE RESEARCH TOOK PLACE IN CANADA, SO WE STILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR A STUDY INVOLVING HUMAN SUBJECTS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT I TOTALLY BUY IT.

BECAUSE AS AN INCREDIBLY STRAIGHT MAN, I AM INCREDIBLY STRESSED OUT-- I'M A TICKING

TIME BOMB!

THAT'S WHY EVERY TIME I ACCIDENTALLY WANDER INTO A GAY BAR AND SEE ALL THOSE HAPPY

PEOPLE, I SHOUT, "I'M READY TO BLOW!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

MEANWHILE, THE GOOD NEWS KEEPS COMING FOR THE GAYS.

RECENTLY, THEY GOT ENDORSEMENTS FROM THE TWO MOST POWERFUL BRANCHES OF AMERICAN GOVERNMENT:

THE WHITE HOUSE, AND FOX NEWS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> OUR JOURNEY IS NOT COMPLETE UNTIL OUR GAY BROTHERS AND SISTERS ARE TREATED LIKE ANYONE

ELSE UNDER THE LAW.

>> REMEMBER ABOUT A YEAR AGO, HE EVOLVED TO SEEING THINGS THIS WAY ON GAY RIGHTS.

LOOK, WE ARE ALL IN AGREEMENT, WE AGREE.

I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYONE HERE THAT DISAGREES WITH ANYTHING PRESIDENT OBAMA SAID ON

THAT ISSUE.

>> Stephen: YES, WE CONSERVATIVES ALL THINK GAYS SHOULD HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS, AND

WE'VE BEEN SAYING IT SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THIS SENTENCE!

[ LAUGHTER ]

CLEARLY, THE LGBT AGENDA IS BARRELING FORWARD AT FULL SPEED.

AT THIS RATE, I MAY EVEN HAVE TO LEARN WHAT THE LAST TWO LETTERS OF LGBT MEAN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I WANNA SAY-- BACON AND TOMATO?

[ LAUGHTER ]

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