Rock Me Like a Herman Cain South Cain-olina Primary Rally - Cain-elot Revisited

  • Aired:  01/23/12
  •  | Views: 27,915

The establishment may have thwarted Stephen's campaign for President of the United States of South Carolina, but there is one moment it can never take away from him. (7:05)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

NATION, WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY.

FOLKS, THE ESTABLISHMENT MAY

HAVE THWARTED MY CAMPAIGN

FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED

STATES OF SOUTH CAROLINA.

BUT THERE IS ONE MOMENT THEY

CAN NEVER TAKE AWAY.

LAST FRIDAY'S ROCK YOU LIKE

A HERMAN CAIN

SOUTH-CAIN-OLINA AT THE

COLLEGE OF CHARLESTON.

IT GAVE ME SOME OF HOPE TO

SEE SO MANY STUDENTS SO

WILLING TO SKIP CLASS ON

SUCH SHORT NOTICE.

(LAUGHTER)

THOUGH THE CAMPAIGN IS OVER,

DON'T LET IT BE FORGOT THAT

ONCE THERE WAS A SPOT FOR

ONE BRIEF SHINING MOMENT

THAT WAS KNOWN AS CAINELOT.

JIMMY?

>> STEPHEN COLBERT IS HAVING

A RALLY TODAY IN SOUTH

CAROLINA.

>> STEPHEN COLBERT ROLL MOOD

SOUTH CAROLINA.

>> HERMAN CAIN AN STEPHEN

COLBERT ARE TAKING SOUTH

CAROLINA BY STORM.

>> THE ROCK ME LIKE A HERMAN

CAIN SOUTH CAIN-OLINA

PRIMARY RALLY.

>> GIVE IT UP TORE THE MAN,

MR. HERMAN CAIN!

>> Stephen: WHOOO.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: I'M GOING TO LET

IT SHINE, LET IT SHRINE

SHINE ♪

♪ LET IT SHINE ♪

♪ THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF

MINE ♪

♪ WHAT'S UP BUDDY ♪

♪ I'M GOING TO LET IT

SHINE ♪

♪ LET IT SHINE ♪

♪ LET IT SHINE ♪

♪ WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY THE

LORD HAS GIVEN US.

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL STATE.

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL TOWN WHAT A

BEAUTIFUL LOW COUNTRY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: BUT FOLKS, I AM

NOT HERE TO PANDER.

BECAUSE I KNOW I DON'T NEED

TO PANDER TO THE MOST

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE IN THE

WORLD.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: CAN I GET AN

AMEN.

>> AMEN!

>> Stephen: YOU'RE GOOD.

BEFORE I INTRODUCE THE MAN

WE'VE ALL GATHERED HERE TO

SEE INTRODUCE ME, I WANT TO

SOLICIT THE OTHER CANDIDATES

IN THE RACIVE.

THINK PEOPLE ARE HUNGERING

FOR A POSITIVE CAMPAIGN.

SO I'M TO THE GOING TO GO

AFTER THIS MAN'S OPPONENTS.

I WON'T BE SAYING THINGS

LIKE THE ONLY DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN MITT ROMNEY AND A

STATUE OF MITT ROMNEY IS

THAT THE STATUE NEVER

CHANGES ITS POSITION.

AND IT WILL BE WRONG TO SAY

THAT IF YOU GUESS RON PAUL'S

REAL NAME HE HAS TO TEACH

YOU HOW TO SPIN STRAW INTO

GOLD.

NOT GOING TO DO IT.

AND I AM NOT GOING TO ANSWER

THE GOTCHA QUESTION AM I

INTERESTED IN AN OPEN

MARRIAGE.

THOUGH I AM FLATTERED THAT

NEWT GINGRICH ASKED ME.

SO IT IS MY GREAT HONOR TO

INTRODUCE TO YOU THE HERMAN

WITH THE PLAN, THE PLAN SO

FINE THEY NAMED IT 9, 9, 9,

THE MAN OF THE FLAT TAX, THE

INDIANA JONES OF OPPORTUNITY

ZONE, THE HERMAN, THE

HER-MYTH, MR. HERMAN CAIN!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH,

MR. COLBERT.

AND I WILL ALSO LIKE TO

THANK ALL OF YOU FOR BEING

HERE.

>> I KNOW HE IS A POKEMON

WORD.

I BELIEVE THE WORDS GO LIKE

THIS.

I DIDN'T SAY I WAS GOING TO

SAY IT.

TO BE ALL THESE THING, NOT

BECAUSE I TOLD YOU ♪

♪ TO ♪

♪ BUT BELIEVE IN YOURSELF ♪

♪ AMERICA ♪

♪ MY BROTHA FROM ANOTHER

MOTHER MR. STEPHEN COLBERT!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: THAT MAN HAS GOT

A BEAUTIFUL VOICE.

ALL I CAN ADD TO HERMAN'S

ELOQUENT QUOTATION FROM

POKEMON IS GOT TO CATCH THEM

ALL.

MY FELLOW AMERICANS, A LOT

OF PEOPLE HAVE ASKED ME WHY

ARE WE HERE?

WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?

IN FACT HERMAN CANNED ME

THAT ON THE BUS COMING HERE

JUST NOW.

THE PUNDITS HAVE ASKED IS

THIS ALL SOME JOKE?

WE'VE ALL HEARD IT, HAVEN'T

WE?

I SAY IF THEY ARE CALLING,

BEING ALLOWED TO FORM A

SUPERPAC AND COLLECTING

UNLIMITED AND UNTRACEABLE

AMOUNTS OF MONEY FROM

INDIVIDUAL UNIONS AND

CORPORATIONS AND SEND THAT

MONEY ON -- SPEND THAT MONEY

ON POLITICAL ADS AND FOR

PERSONAL ENRICHMENT AND

SURRENDER THAT SUPERPAC TO

ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS

WHILE I EXPLORE A RUN FOR

OFFICE, IF THAT IS A JOKE,

THEN THEY ARE SAYING OUR

ENTIRE CAMPAIGN FINANCE

SYSTEM IS A JOKE.

AND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,

BUT-- OFFENDED BY THAT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WE FOUGHT A GREAT CIVIL WAR

TO ENSURE THAT ALL PEOPLE

ARE PEOPLE.

AS ABRAHAM LINCOLN SAID AT

GETTISBURG, GIVE ME SOME

MONEY.

THE EXPERTS SAY HE CAN'T

WIN.

THEY HAVE BEEN WRONG BEFORE.

NOT THIS TIME.

THIS TIME WAS SPOT ON.

BUT JUST BECAUSE YOU LOSE,

THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU

SURRENDER.

WE HERE MUST HIGHLY RESOLVE

THAT THESE UNLIMITED FUNDS

SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN DONATED

IN VEIN.

BECAUSE IF CORPORATIONS ARE

PEOPLE, PEOPLE WITH A

CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO

INFLUENCE OUR ELECTIONS,

THEN I PROMISE YOU

GOVERNMENT OF THOSE PEOPLE,

BY THOSE PEOPLE, AND FOR

THOSE PEOPLE SHALL NOT

PERISH FROM THIS EARTH.

THANK YOU.

GOD BLESS YOU.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> AND GOD BLESS HERMAN

CAIN.

GET UP HERE HERMAN.

COME ON.

>> THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF

MINE ♪

♪ I'M GOING LET IT SHINE ♪

♪ LET IT SHINE ♪

♪ LET IT SHINE ♪

♪ THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.

THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE ♪

♪ I'M GOING TO LET IT

SHINE ♪

♪ THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF

MINE ♪

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