The Blitzkrieg On Grinchitude - Atheist Billboard & Capitol Christmas Tree

  • Aired:  12/02/10
  •  | Views: 96,627

Atheists attack religion outside the Lincoln Tunnel, and the official Capitol Christmas Tree has a Twitter account. (4:53)

EVERYBODY.

NATION, THANK YOU.

NATION, WE ALL KNOW THERE'S A

WAR ON CHRISTMAS.

SO MANY PEOPLE FORGET THAT THIS

SEASON IS ABOUT JESUS CHRIST AND

THE SACRIFICES HE MADE FOR

MANKIND, INCLUDING THE ULTIMATE

SACRIFICE, HAVING HIS BIRTHDAY

ON CHRISTMAS.

( LAUGHTER )

IT JUST GETS LUMPED IN THERE AND

YOU GET HALF THE PRESENTS.

WELL, I FOR ONE WILL NOT STAND

FOR PEOPLE TAKING THE CHRIST OUT

OF CHRISTMAS.

THIS YEAR I'M PUTTING A LITTLE

EXTRA CHRIST IN THERE BY WISHING

EVERYBODY A MERRY CHRIST

CHRISTMAS CHRIST, WHICH BRINGS

ME TO MY ANNUAL SEGMENT DEAD --

DEDICATED TO THE WAR ON THE WAR

ON CHRISTMAS.

THIS IS THE BLITZKRIEG ON

GRINCH-ITUDE.

>> HO, HO, HO.

[GUNFIRE]

HOOOO.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: FOLKS, THAT REALLY

LOOKED GREAT IN H.D.

FOLKS, ONCE AGAIN, THE

ARRESTISTS ARE TRYING TO KICK US

IN THE JINGLE BALLS.

THIS YEAR THEY'RE ATTACKING US

AT ONE OF OUR MOST SACRED

LOCATION, OUTSIDE THE LINCOLN

TUNNEL.

>> JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS, A

BRAND-NEW BILLBOARD IN NEW

JERSEY IS RAISING SOME EYEBROWS,

A SILHOUETTE OF THE THREE

WISEMEN APPROACHING THE NATIVITY

WITH THE WORDS, "YOU KNOW IT'S A

MYTH."

A MYTH?

>> Stephen: WHAT PART OF THREE

KINGS FOLLOWING A STAR THROUGH A

DESERT TO BRING PRESENTS TO AN

IMMACULATELY CONCEIVED BABY GOD

THEY CEMENT ABOUT SOUNDS LIKE A

MYTH TO YOU?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

THERE'S NO MINUTE ATAR IN THERE.

AND WHY DID THE ATHEISTS PUT UP

THIS BILLBOARD NOW?

DAVID SILVERMAN, THE PRESIDENT

OF THE AMERICAN ATHEISTS

EXPLAINS.

>> THE PURPOSE OF IT IS SO MAKE

ATHEISTS WHO ARE IN THE CLOSET

COME OUT.

>> Stephen: COME OUT?

HE'S NOT JUST TRYING TO MAKE US

ATHEISTS.

HE'S TRYING TO MAKE US

GAYTHEISTS.

THANK GOODNESS, NO, CHECK, THAT

THANK GAUDINESS MY -- GODNESS MY

FRIEND AT THE CATHOLIC LEAGUE

RESPONDED.

>> THEIR BILLBOARD SAYS "YOU

KNOW IT'S REAL.

THIS SEASON CELEBRATE JESUS."

THE CATHOLIC LEAGUE SAYS IT'S A

COUNTER-PUNCH.

>> JUST LIKE JESUS SAYS, IF

SOMEONE SLAPS YOU ON THE CHEEK,

COUNTER-PUNCH.

WAY TO GO, CATHOLIC LEAGUE.

THOUGH IF YOU TRULY HAD FAITH,

YOU COULD DITCH YOUR CAR AND

JUST WALK ACROSS THE HUDSON.

THESE PROVOCATIVE BILLBOARDS...

THESE PROVOCATIVE BILLBOARDS

COMPETING FOR DRIVER'S ATTENTION

HAS LED THE TUNNEL AUTHORITY TO

PUT UP THEIR OWN BILLBOARDS.

JESUS CHRIST, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE

DRIVING.

NOW, I'M HAPPY TO SAY, FOLKS, I

AM HAPPY TO SAY THE CATHOLIC

LEAGUE AREN'T THE ONLY ONES

CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS IN THE

TRADITIONAL WAY.

EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK, BELLS ARE

RINGING, CAROLERS ARE CAROLING

AND TREES ARE TWEETING.

JIM?

>> THE CAPITAL CHRISTMAS TREE

HAS ALIVES IN WASHINGTON.

THE 67-FOOT SPRUCE WAS CHOPPED

DOWN EARLIER THIS MONTH IN

WYOMING.

HERE'S THE WEST PART, IN A TRUE

SIGN OF THE SIGNS, THE OFFICIAL

CAPITAL TREE HAS A TWITTER

ACCOUNT.

>> YES, A CHRISTMAS TREE WITH A

QUITTER ACCOUNT.

FINALLY A WAY TO GET KIDS

EXCITED ABOUT CHRISTMAS.

THE TWITTER FEED LETS YOU FOLLOW

THE CAPITAL TREE ACROSS THE

COUNTRY FROM WYOMING.

ON TUESDAY THE TREE TWEETED THAT

IT WAS SO EXCITED TO BE HERE AT

THE CAPITAL AND LOOKING FORWARD

TO THE LIGHTING CEREMONY ON THE

SEVENTH.

THAT LYING CEREMONY WILL BE

PRESIDE OVER BY SPEAKER OF THE

HOUSE NANCY PELOSI, WHO WILL

FINALLY MEET SOMETHING THAT CAN

OUTBLINK HER.

( LAUGHTER )

LET'S LOOK AT SOME EARLIER

TWEETS.

GOOD MORNING, SON, IT'S MY

234th BIRTHDAY.

OH, LOOK, LUMBERJACKS ARE COMING

TO HELP ME CELEBRATE.

OH, GOD, THEY'RE HACKING AT MY

SHINS.

LET'S GO TO THE NEXT DAY.

SO COLD.

SAP EVERYWHERE.

THEY'RE CHAINING ME TO A TRUCK.

TELL MY PINE CONES I LOVE THEM.

THIS IS FUN.

UH-OH, I JUST GOT A TWEET FROM

THE TREE.

OH, THEY'RE DRESSING ME UP IN

TINSEL AND LIGHTS LIKE A CHEAP

WHORE AND THEY'RE MAKING THE

CHILDREN WATCH.

I'M SORRY.

THAT LAST TWEET WAS FROM KIM

KARDASHIAN.

ANYWAY

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