Colbert Super PAC - In Search of Mr. Larose

  • Aired:  05/03/12
  •  | Views: 5,716

A mysterious Florida rival challenges Stephen's dominance in the world of super secret Super PAC-ing. (6:59)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: FOLKS, AS A PLAYER IN THE POWERFUL AND COMPLETELY TRANSPARENT WORLD

OF SUPER PACS, I PRIDE MYSELF ON EXERCISING THE GREATEST POSSIBLE INFLUENCE,

THE DETAILS OF BY ARE NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS.

BUT RECENTLY A MYSTERIOUS RIVAL HAS APPEARED IN FLORIDA TO CHALLENGE MY DOMINANCE IN THE WORLD OF

SUPERSECRET SUPER PACKING.

SO TONIGHT I GO IN SEARCH OF THEY WERE TENDER, JIM.

>> FOR YEARS THERE HAS BEEN ONE UNDISPUTED KING OF DEMOCRACY.

>> MY NAME IS STEPHEN COLBERT.

AND I AM AN AMERICAN CITIZEN.

>> I ACCEPT THE-- TO BE SOUTH CAROLINA'S FAVORITE SON.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> STEPHEN COLBERT IS HAVING A RALLY TODAY.

>> WHOOO!

I AM SUPER PAC!

>> BUT NOW A CHALLENGER THREATENED MY THRONE.

WHO IS HE?

THERE'S ONE GUY THAT LITERALLY STARTED ONE IN FOUR OF THE SUPER PACS THAT

HAVE BEEN FORMED SINCE THE CITIZENS UNITED RULING.

>> 64 SEEMS LIKE AN EXTRAORDINARY NUMBER OF SUPER PACS TO ME.

BECAUSE I HAVE 0.

>> HE'S FORMED 400 POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEES ON THE STATE LEVEL.

>> HE'S RUN FOR SEVERAL OFFICES.

>> HE'S RAISED 18 MILLION DOLLARS.

>> HE'S A BILLIONAIRE AN ECONOMIST.

>> HE WAS RUNNING FOR THREE OFFICES AT THE SAME TIME.

>> HE'S CURRENTLY ON THE BALLOT FOR U.S. SENATOR,

U.S. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES.

>> HE HAS RUN FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

>> HE HAS RUN FOR JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING.

>> AND HIS NAME IS-- WHAT IS HIS NAME.

>> I DON'T KNOW IT IS JOSU,

IF IT IS HOSU.

>> HOSU OR ALSO KNOWN AS JOSHUA.

>> I HAVE ALWAYS CALLED HIM MR. LA ROSE.

>> Stephen: WELL, AYLA ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME SPELLS LIKE A MYSTERY.

JOIN ME TONIGHT AS I GO IN SEARCH OF THE MAN WHO WOULD RIDE MY PAC TAILS.

>> IT'S A MYSTERY.

HE'S GOT A LOT OF SUPER PACS.

BUT WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM.

WHO IS THIS GUY?

TO SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING MONEY MAN.

>> I HOPPED ON BOARD "THE COLBERT REPORT" SEAPLANE.

AND FLEW TO DUVAL COUNTY,

FLORIDA, WHERE MR. LA ROSE RAN FOR OFFICE.

TO MEET THE SUPERVISOR OF ELECTIONS AND FIND OUT JUST WHO THIS LA ROSE REALLY IS.

>> I HAVE NEVER MET HIM OR SEEN HIM.

>> OAKEY DOKE.

>> MY SEARCH THEN TOOK ME TO THE COUNTY LA ROSE LIVES IN WHERE I MET WITH FORMER

RIVAL FOR THE STATE SENATE AND CURRENT CLUTTER PHOBE BILL RAMOS WHO REMEMBERS LA

ROSE FROM THEIR DRAMATIC CLASHES IN THE PRIMARY DEBATE.

>> WHEN THE FIRST DEBATE OCCURRED, HE WASN'T THERE.

AND THE SECOND ONE, HE WASN'T THERE.

AND UNFORTUNATELY, I NEVER GOT A CHANCE TO MEET HIM.

>> Stephen: A PATTERN WAS EMERGING.

A PATTERN WITH NO SHAPE OR FORM.

SO I TURNED TO INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER FOR PROPUBLICA, KIM BARKER.

WAIT A SECOND, GO BACK, I GOT SOMETHING.

>> OH YOU CAN'T TELL BY THE WAY I WEAR MY-- I'M PRO PUBLICA WE'LL FIND OUT WHO

HE IS,-- OKAY, EXCUSE MA.

BARKER HAS BEEN ON THE LA ROSE STORY SINCE 2009.

SO SHE KNOWS EVERYBODY WHO HAS MET OR SPOKEN TO MR. LA ROSE.

>> I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY WHO HAS MET OR SPOKE TO MR. LA ROSE.

>> KIM, SERIOUSLY, JUST ANYTHING, I NEED SOMETHING,

GIVE ME SOMETHING.

>> I BELIEVE THAT THERE IS ONE FORT LAUDERDALE SUN SENTINEL REPORTER WHOSE'S

MET MR. LA ROSE.

>> THE GAME WAS AFOOT.

REPORTER JOHN BERNSTEIN WAS THE MISSING LINK IN THE LA ROSE MYSTERY.

>> I HAVE SEEN MR. LA ROSE.

>> FINALLY, PHYSICAL PROOF THAT LA ROSE EXISTS.

>> AND, NO, I DO NOT HAVE ANY, ANY PHYSICAL PROOF-- I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING.

>> Stephen: SKIP THAT.

>> HIS OFFICE IS IN THE EAST BROWARD BUILDING.

>> Stephen: A BREAKTHROUGH.

>> I BELIEVE IT'S ON THE 17th FLOOR.

>> Stephen: A BREAKTHROUGH?

I SCOURED THE 17th FLOOR.

BUT THE PACMAN WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.

SO OUTSIDE THE BUILDING I CORNERED ONE OF LA ROSE'S FELLOW TENANTS.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHO JOSE LA ROSE IS BUT I KNOW A LOT OF JOSE, I HAVE A LOT OF

FRIENDS NAMED JOSE BUT THEY ALL LIVE IN MIAMI.

I'M SURE THERE ARE PLENTY IN FORT LAUDERDALE.

I JUST DON'T HAVE ANY JOSE FRIENDS IN LAUNDER DALE, BUT IN MIAMI.

>> Stephen: GOT IT.

>> SORRY.

>> Stephen: OKAY, I'M GOING TO LEAVE.

AS NIGHT FELL, SO DID MY SPIRITS.

THE TRAIL HAD GONE COLD.

AND THEN IT GOT HOT.

BECAUSE IT OCCURRED TO ME HOW DO YOU FIND A MAN AS ELUSIVE AS BIG FOOT AM BY CALLING IN THE PROS AT

ANIMAL PLANET, FINDING BIG FOOT.

SPARE NOTHING EXPENSE BECAUSE THEY DID IT FOR FREE.

MATT, CLIFF, BOBO AND RENEE.

JOURNEYED INTO DEEPEST FLORIDA IN SEARCH OF LA ROSE.

>> I'M UP HIGH IN A TREE.

I'VE GOT THE PARABOLIC MICROPHONE, THERMAL IMAGER,

HINE THE QHOK POINT, THOSE GUYS ARE GOING IT TO TRY TO FLUSH LA ROSE TOWARDS ME,

HOPEFULLY I CAN GET A HIT ON THE THERM.

>> ALL RIGHT, RENEE,

OPERATION GIANT LA ROSE FLY IS NOW GOING TO COMMENCE.

>> ON BEHALF OF THE VIACOM NETWORK AND ALL THE SUBSIDIARIES, I WOULD LIKE

TO APOLOGISE TO THE PEOPLE OF FLORIDA AND MY VIEWERS BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN INFORMED

IT IS AGAINST NETWORK POLICY TO ATTEMPT TO FLUSH BLACK PEOPLE OUT OF THE WOODS USING TORCHES.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ALL RIGHT, WHAT BEGAN AS A RIVALLY HAS GROWN INTO RESPECT.

AND I INVITE TO YOU COME ON MY SHOW TO RECEIVE THE COLBERT BUMP.

OR PERHAPS THIS TIME IT SHALL BE I WHO RECEIVES THE JOSU JUMP.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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