Stephen Files Super PAC Request

  • Aired:  05/16/11
  •  | Views: 58,125

Stephen addresses 500 white people on the steps of the FEC after dropping off his legal request to form a super PAC. (7:24)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY, THANK YOU SO

MUCH.

THANK YOU, FOLKS.

BEFORE THE COMMERCIAL BREAK

I BROKE THE TITANIC NEWS

THAT BOTH DONALD TRUMP AND

AND-- LET'S SEE, AH, I WANT

TO SAY HOYT AXTON-- MIKE

HUCKABEE, WHOOO, BOTH OF

THESE GENTLEMEN HAVE DROPPED

OUT OF THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE

TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH

THEIR TV SHOWS.

OF COURSE WHOEVER IS THE

EVENTUAL REPUBLICAN NOMINEE

IS GOING TO NEED A LOT OF

MONEY.

BECAUSE IT IS ESTIMATED THAT

BARACK OBAMA WILL RAISE OVER

$1 BILLION FOR HIS CAMPAIGN.

THAT MEANS BETWEEN NOW AND

ELECTION DAY, HE HAS TO

COLLECT $21 A SECOND.

WHICH IS WHY HIS CAMPAIGN

SLOGAN HAS GONE FROM CHANGE

TO BENJAMIN.

(APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: SO CLEARLY

FUND-RAISING, FUND RAISING

IS GOING TO BE KEY.

AND FRIDAY THERE WAS

GAME-CHANGING NEWS IN THE

WORLD OF CAMPAIGN FINANCE.

JIM?

>> STEPHEN COLBERT WENT TO

WASHINGTON TODAY AND IS

FILING A REQUEST TO CREATE

HIS OWN SUPERPAC CAN.

HIS PARENT COMPANY VIACOM

DOESN'T WANT HIM GETTING

THEM INTO TROUBLE WITH THE

FEDERAL ELECTION COMMISSION

WHILE HE'S DOING THIS AND SO

NOW COLBERT IS MAKING A BIG

PRODUCTION OF GOING TO THE

FEC TO FILE A REQUEST FOR A

MEDIA EXEMPTION.

>> Stephen: OOPS.

THAT IS SO EMBARRASSING.

I AM THE BIG NEWS.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: WELL, AGAIN,

EVIDENTLY, EVIDENTLY ON

FRIDAY I WENT TO THE FEDERAL

ELECTION COMMISSION IN

WASHINGTON TO DROP OFF MY

LEGAL REQUEST TO FORM A

SUPERPAC IT ALL WENT

SMOOTHLY EXCEPT-- FOR WHEN

WITH THE GUARDS WANDED MY

GROIN.

HEY, I WILL REMOVE MY WATCH

AND MY BELT BUT I WILL NOT

REMOVE MY BALLS.

THE WHOLE CITY, THE WHOLE

CITY SHOWED UP TO GREET ME,

IF THE WHOLE CITY OF

WASHINGTON IS 500 WHITE

PEOPLE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: AND I ADDRESSED

THOSE GOOD PEOPLE ON THE

STEPS OF THE FEC WHICH

HAPPENS TO BE RIGHT ACROSS

FROM THE FBI, SO TO EVERYONE

WHO SHOWED UP,

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE ON

THE NO-FLY LIST.

JIM, LET'S SHOW THESE PEOPLE

THE MAGIC OF THAT MOMENT.

>> AS WE STAND HERE ON THIS

HISTORIC SITE, WHERE 250

YEARS AGO TODAY GEORGE

WASHINGTON FILED HIS PAPERS

TO FORM HIS INDEPENDENT

EXPENDITURES, NONCONNECTED

POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEE--

(APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: WE ARE ALSO

STANDING AT AN AMERICAN

CROSSROADS.

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH

AMERICAN CROSSROADS WHICH IS

THE NAME OF KARL ROVE'S

SUPERPAC.

NOW THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE

LONG TIME SUPPORTERS OF

COLBERT PAC OR COLBERT

SUPERPAC, KNOW OUR MOTTO,

SAY IT WITH ME.

MAKING A BETTER TOMORROW

TOMORROW.

SO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN--

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: THE CYNICS OUT

THERE ARE GOING TO SAY

TOMORROW NEVER COMES.

WELL, THANKS TO MY LAWYER

TREVOR POTTER, TODAY,

TOMORROW JUST GOT ONE DAY

CLOSER.

OF COURSE THERE ARE SOME WHO

DON'T WANT TO YOU HAVE A

VOICE.

THERE ARE SOME WHO DON'T

WANT YOU TO HAVE COLBERT

SUPERPAC BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT

I'M NOT WILLING TO RIDE IN

THE BACK OF THE BUS.

WITH ALL THIS SUPERPAC MONEY

I WILL BE RIDING IN A

PRIVATE JET.

WHO WANTS TO RIDE IN THAT

JET WITH ME?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: YEAH!

OBVIOUS-- OBVIOUSLY I MEAN

METAPHORICALLY BECAUSE EVEN

A G-5 ONLY HOLDS LIKE FIVE

PEOPLE SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?

LET ME TELL YOU A STORY.

ABOUT A YOUNG MAN NAMED BEN

DONALDSONTON THAT I MET IN

IOWA IN A DINER.

BEN'S UNEMPLOYED.

AND HE CAME TO ME WITH A

LIST OF CONCERNS.

HANDWRITTEN.

ON THE BACK OF A GREASE

STAINED PAPER BAG.

THESE WERE THE ISSUES THAT

MATTER TO HIM AND HIS FAMILY

AND HE GAVE ME THAT LIST.

AND I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT

THEY WERE, I'M SURE JOBS WAS

ON THERE SOMEPLACE.

BUT I DO REMEMBER THIS.

BEN GAVE ME $10.

AND I MADE A PROMISE TO BEN

THAT I WOULD FIND A WAY TO

SPEND THAT MONEY.

WILL YOU HELP ME KEEP THAT

PROMISE TO ALL THE OTHER

BENS OUT THERE?

>> YES!

>> THANK YOU.

THIS IS FOR YOU, BEN!

I WILL NOW SHAKE YOUR HAND

FOR $1 A PIECE.

NO EYE CONTACT.

NO KISSING CAN ON THE LIPS.

NO LAST NAMES.

LET'S KEEP THIS

PROFESSIONAL.

THANK YOU!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO

MUCH.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

OH, THANK YOU.

>> I WANT TO GET THAT MONEY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

HOLD UP YOUR MONEY.

HOLD UP YOUR MONEY.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

GOD BLESS YOU.

AND GOD BLESS-- CITIZENS

UNITED.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: LOOK AT THAT!

LOOK AT THAT.

I AM LITERALLY PUTTING YOUR

MONEY WHERE MY MOUTH IS.

I RAKED IN A TOTAL OF $31!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: I ALSO GRABBED

SOME PRETTY SWEET WATCHES

WHICH I ASSUME WERE ALSO A

GIFT.

WHAT?

SOME LADY GAVE ME THIS.

OH.

I ASSUMED SHE WAS A GIFT.

THERE YOU GO.

OH.

SO SO HOW ABOUT IT, NATION.

ARE YOU READY FOR COLBERT

SUPERPAC?

ARE YOU PREPARED TO MAKE A

DIFFERENCE?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: AND MOST

IMPORTANTLY, ARE YOU

PREPARED TO WAIT 60 DAYS?

BECAUSE THAT'S HOW LONG THE

FEC LEGALLY HAS TO RESPOND

TO MY REQUEST FOR AN

ADVISORY OPINION ON THE

LEGALITY OF USING MY TV SHOW

TO PROMOTE MY NONCONNECTED

POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEE

CAN.

JIMMY, BALLOON DROP.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: WE'RE JUST DOING

ONE AT A TIME.

YOU HAVE TO MAKE THEM LAST

FOR 60 DAYS.

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