Open-Carry Trailblazers

  • Aired:  08/05/14
  •  | Views: 72,118

An Arizona doctor enters an airport with an assault rifle, and a children's book celebrates gun-toting parents. (3:53)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN")>> Stephen: THANK YOU, LADIES

AND GENTLEMEN.

MWA!

FOLKS-- I CAN'T STOP THESEPEOPLE.

I CAN'T STOP THEM.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

THANK YOU.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN, WE'VE GOT A BIG SHOW

TO DO.

FOLKS, WE'VE GOT A BIG SHOW TODO.

I KNOW.

I WOULD TRY TO STOP YOU FROMCHANTING BUT WE KNOW WHAT

HAPPENS WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TOSTOP THE COLBERT NATION.

( CHEERS )THESE PEOPLE ARE LOCKED AND

LOADED.

FOLKS, SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOUKNOW I'M A PROUD SUPPORTER OF

THE SECOND AMENDMENT.

I CONSIDER IT FIRST AMONGAMENDMENTS THAT AREN'T THE FIRST

ONE.

( LAUGHTER )THESE DAYS WE GUN ADVOCATES ARE

BEING TREATED LIKE COMMONCRIMINALS

>> A 54-YEAR-OLD RESEARCH DOCTORARRESTED AFTER HE ENTERED AN

AIRPORT TERMINAL CARRYING ANASSAULT RIFLE.

DR. PETER STEINMETZ WAS CARRYINGAN AR-15 OVER HIS SHOULDER WHEN

HE WAS TAKEN INTO CUSTODY LASTWEEK.

HE TOLD POLICE HE VISITED THEAIRPORT TO SIMPLY BUY A CUP OF

COFFEE.

( LAUGHTER )>> Stephen, OF COURSE.

YOU GOTTA GO TO THE AIRPORT FORCOFFEE.

AIRPORTS ARE TO COFFEE AS BUSSTATIONS ARE TO NACHOS.

( LAUGHTER )AND, YES, STEINMETZ MAY HAVE

POINTED AN AR-15 ASSAULT RIFLEIN THE DIRECTION OF A MOTHER AND

HER TEENAGED DAUGHTER, SOOBVIOUSLY WE'RE NOT LOOKING AT A

BRAIN SURGEON HERE.

HE'S TECHNICALLY A TOPNEUROSCIENTIST.

PERHAPS HE'S STUDYING THE PARTOF THE BRAIN THAT OVERRIDES

IMPULSE CONTROL.

THE POINT IS, ARRESTS LIKE THISARE PURE DISCRIMINATION, AND

THAT HURTS THE CHILDREN.

FORTUNATELY, TWO GUN LOVERS HAVEWRITTEN A NEW CHILDREN'S BOOK TO

HELP KIDS UNDERSTAND THE OPENCARRY LIFESTYLE.

IT'S CALLED "MY PARENTS CARRY."

( LAUGHTER )IT TELLS THE HEARTWARMING STORY

OF BRENNA, HER MOM, AND WHATLOOKS LIKE HER OTHER MOM WEARING

A MUSTACHE.

( LAUGHTER )UNLIKE OTHER PARENTS, BRENNA'S

MOM AND DAD CARRY LOADED WEAPONSOPENLY, WHICH MIGHT MAKE HER

FEEL DIFFERENT, BUT HER FATHERREASSURES HER THAT, "BRENNA,

THERE IS EVIL IN THIS WORLD ANDWE WANT TO PROTECT YOU THE BEST

WE CAN.

WHEN SECONDS COUNT, THE POLICEARE MINUTES AWAY."

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL BEDTIME STORY.

THE WORLD IS FULL OF MANIACS WHOWANT TO HURT YOU AND THE POLICE

CAN'T HELP.

GOOD NIGHT, HONEY.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

LET ME JUST OPEN THE WINDOW HERESO YOU CAN GET A BREEZE, TURN

OFF THE LIGHTS.

GOOD-BYE.

( LAUGHTER )FOLKS, I KNOW THE KIDS ARE JUST

GOING TO SPEND HOURS READINGTHIS BOOK BECAUSE IT'S FULL OF

THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OFWORDS.

FOR INSTANCE, MOM AND DAD'SMORNING RITUAL.

THEY RETRIEVE THEIR HANDGUNSFROM THE LOCKED GUN SAFE AND

CHECK THEM TO MAKE SURE THEYWERE LOADED.

BRENNA'S PARENT WERE DRESSEDCASUALLY. HER DAD WORE

A WHITE POLO SHIRT, TAN PANTS, ABLACK BELT AND COMFORTABLE SHOES

HER MOM WORE WHITE CARGO SHORTSAND A NICE SHIRT AND HER

WELL-WORN BROWN LOAFERS.

THAT MIGHT SEEM LIKE A LOT OFSPECIFICS FOR A CHILDREN'S BOOK

BUT REMEMBER A DETAILEDDESCRIPTION IS IMPORTANT FOR THE

POLICE REPORT.

( LAUGHTER )FOLKS, "MY PARENTS OPEN CARRY"

IS LONG OVERDUE.

I WISH THERE WERE MORE FIREARMSIN CHILDREN'S BOOKS.

I MEAN LOOK AT "THE VERYHUNGRY CATEPILLAR."

SOMEONE IS CLEARLY OUT TO GETTHIS GUY.

THE ENTIRE BOOK IS RIDDLED WITHBULLET HOLES.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

OR HOW ABOUT "GOOD-BYE FOREVER,MOON."

THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO LOOKTHROUGH A KID'S WINDOW YOU PERV.

OR BEST OF ALL, "WHERE THE WILDTHINGS WERE."

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