Cosmo Is Available in Mongolia

  • Aired:  12/06/10
  •  | Views: 50,109

With their Cosmopolitan subscriptions, Mongolian women get half off the newsstand price, plus a free goat bladder phone. (2:51)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU.

WELCOME TO "THE REPORT,"

EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

WELCOME TO "THE REPORT."

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

NATION, THE PUBLISHING INDUSTRY

IS GOING THROUGH A ROUGH TIME.

I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT THE COVER

OF THIS WEEK'S "TIME."

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE BUY

THIS MAGAZINE.

GOOD ARTICLE.

I READ IT ON THE INTERNET.

( LAUGHTER ).

BUT THERE IS ONE PUBLICATION OUT

THERE BRAVELY BUCKING THIS

TREND, "COSMOPOLITAN," WHICH AS

OF THIS WEEK IS NOW AVAILABLE IN

MONGOLIA.

FOLKS, THIS IS GREAT NEWS.

NOW THAT MONGOLIAN WOMEN HAVE

"COSMO," THEY'LL FINALLY KNOW

WHICH BODY PART THE FEEL

INSECURE ABOUT.

IT'S THE BEARD.

AND THEY WILL GET TO ENJOY

FEATURES LIKE THIS SEASON'S

HOTTEST UNISECONDS DIDN'T UNISEX

HORSELEATHER JERKINS.

GO FROM STABLE GIRL TO YURT

FLIRT.

AND THIS MONTH'S QUIZ: DOES YOUR

MONOGOL HAVE A HORDE ON THE

SIDE?

AND, OF COURSE, THE PERFECT

MARE'S MILK AND MARMOT DIET TO

GET IN SHAPE FOR BORTGON MALGAI

SEASON.

HELLO, MADAM.

AND A HAPPY BORTGON MALGAI TO

YOU.

( LAUGHTER )

NO, NO, I INSIST NOT.

ALL FOR A MERE 7,000 TUGRIKS.

BUT IF YOU SUBSCRIBE, YOU GET

HALF OFF THE NEWSSTAND PRICE,

AND IT COMES WITH A FREE GOAT

BLADDER PHONE.

FOLKS, "COSMO" HAS DISCOVERED

THE WAY TO SAVE THE PUBLISHING

INDUSTRY -- FIND THE LAST PLACES

ON EARTH THAT DON'T KNOW THE

PUBLISHING INDUSTRY IS DYING.

"HARPER'S" MAGAZINE COULD DOUBLE

THEIR READERSHIP IF THEY

TARGETED THE NINE-MEMBER PINTUPI

TRIBE OF AUSTRALIA'S GIBSON

DESERT.

AND THE MURZU PEOPLE OF ETHIOPIA

WOULD LOVE TO SUBSCRIBE TO

(CLICK)-LAMOUR MAGAZINE.

THINK HOW MUCH LIPSTICK YOU

COULD SELL THEM.

SO ENJOY, MONGOLIA.

NOW WE'RE EVEN FOR GENGHIS KHAN.

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