Operation Artificial Swedener - Sweden's Response

  • Aired:  06/18/12
  •  | Views: 44,623

Sweden reacts to Stephen's Twitter- takeover operation, mandating that only Swedes may participate in their national tweets. (5:31)

>> WELL-- WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY.

FOLKS, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU I HAVE THE BEST AUDIENCE IN THE WORLD.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE NOTICED THIS ABOUT IN OTHER SHOWS THE CROWD ALMOST NEVER

CHANT STEPHEN, STEPHEN,

WHICH IS WHY YOU FOLKS IN HERE OUT THERE YOU'RE MORE THAN VIEWERS, YOU ARE

MEMBERS OF THE COLBERT NATION.

AND RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW FOLKS WE ARE ENGAGED IN SERIOUS HIGH LEVEL DIPLOMATIC TALKS WITH SWEDEN.

THE WOODSY SOCIALIST UTOPIA THAT IS PRETTY MUCH SCANDINAVIA'S SCAN DA OR SCANDANANADA.

WELL, LAST TUESDAY NIGHT I REPORTED THAT THE COUNTRY'S OFFICIAL TWITTER ACCOUNT AT

SWEDEN IS HANDED OFF TO A NEW SWEDE EVERY WEEK.

I BELIEVE THAT IS ALSO HOW THE UNIVERSAL HEALTH-CARE SYSTEM SHARES THE COUNTRY'S

ONE THERMOMETER.

NOW I, OF COURSE, WANTED TO HAVE MY TURN AS SWEDEN'S TWEET WHEEL.

I CAN CERTAINLY TWEET FOR SWEDEN.

I WILL PROVE IT.

>> -- ITS WAS ALL PART OF A OUR TOP SECRET TWITTER TAKEVER PROJECT OPERATION

ARTIFICIAL SWEDENER.

AND YOU IN THE COLBERT NATION HEEDED MY CALL TO ARMS WITH YOUR THUMB.

AND UNLEASHED A DEVASTATING TWEET BARRAGE OF SUPPORT.

WELL, GUESS WHAT, NATION,

THE COUNTRY OF SWEDEN HAS RESPONDED.

SWEDEN'S OFFICIAL SPOKES SWEDE SERGIO-- RELEASED A STATEMENT QUOTE PEOPLE WHO

ARE NOT SWEDISH, CITIZENS,

CANNOT TAKE OVER THE ACCOUNT NOT YET ANYWAY.

WE HAVE A VERY LONG LIST ALREADY.

COLBERT WILL HAVE TO WAIT.

I DONE KNOW WHAT THAT IS IN SWED-- SWEDISH.

>> EXCUSE ME, SWEDEN, I DO NOT DO PATIENCE.

I'VE BEEN THROWN OUT OF HALF A DOZEN PERFORMANCES OF WAITING FOR GODOT.

JUST SHOW UP ALREADY SO WE CAN GO HOME.

AND THE PEOPLE OF SWEDEN ARE CLEARLY BEHIND ME.

LAST WEEK THE HASHTAG ARTIFICIAL SWEDENER AND THE NAME STEPHEN COLBERT BOTH TRENDED IN SWEDEN.

REPLACING THE SWEDISH TRENDING TOPIC OF NORWEGIANS ARE A DEGENERATE RACE OF HERRING MOLESTERS.

(APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOLKS I THINK WE CLEARLY RATTLED THEIR CAGES BECAUSE SONJA

ABRAHMSON THE SWED WHO CONTROLLED AS SWEDEN LAST WEEK TWEETED, QUOTE, I JUST

WATCHED THE COLBERT THING THAT GUY IS CRAZY.

HE THREW A TELEPHONE OVER HIS SHOULDER LIKE IT WASN'T WORTH A-- TO HIM.

OH.

OH DEAR SWEET INNOCENT SONJA.

YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN.

THIS IS AMERICA.

OUR STREETS ARE PAVED WITH BROKEN IPHONES.

OURS, OURS IS A LAND OF PLENTY.

WE USE OUR IPHONES FOR JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING.

FOR INSTANCE, HERE'S HOW I STIR MY COFFEE.

OH, YOU CAN REALLY TASTE THE VOIDED WARRANTY.

SO COME ON, SWEDEN.

MAN UP!

PEOPLE CLEARLY WANT ME.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CITIZENSHIP.

I AM A SWED.

JUST CHECK OUT THE FAMOUS SWEDISH PERSON PAGE ON WICK PEDESTRIANIA.

OKAY, NOW CHECK IT.

TO SWEDEN.

(APPLAUSE)

>> THE BIGGEST REASON YOU SHOULD GIVE IT TO ME IS BECAUSE SINCE WE I MENTIONED

YOU ON MY SHOW LAST WEEK YOUR OFFICIAL TWITTER ACCOUNT HAS JUMPED FROM 33,000 FOLLOWERS TO 62,000 FOLLOWERS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> POU, POU.

-- POW, POW, YOU SEE.

AMERICANS ARE STARTING TO NOTICE YOU.

SOON WE MAY EVEN BE ABLE TO FIND YOU ON A MAP.

SO KEEP UP THE PRESSURE,

NATION.

E-MAIL YOUR SUPPORT OF ME TO CURATOR APPLICATION AT VISIT SWEDEN.COM AND TWEETING WITH

A HASHTAG ARTIFICIAL SWEDENER.

SOON SWEDEN WILL CRUMBLE BENEATH OUR ONSLAUGHT LIKE AN IKEA BOOK SHELF UNDER A BOOK.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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