Joseph Gobbles Shoots Jay the Intern

  • Aired:  11/18/10
  •  | Views: 34,701

Stephen makes a police sketch of Joseph Gobbles the turkey after he shoots Jay the Intern in a botched drug deal. (2:03)

EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU.

FOLKS, THIS IS AN HISTORIC NIGHT

BECAUSE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE,

TEA PARTY FAVORITE AND GROOMED

YETI JOE MILLER HAS WON THE

ALASKAN SENATE RACE.

WHOO!

WAY TO GO, JOE.

IT IS MILLER TIME, BROUGHT TO

YOU BY MY SPONSOR, COORS LIGHT.

NOW, SURE THE A.P. HAS DECLARED

THAT INCUMBENT SENATOR LISA

MURKOWSKI HAS ACTUALLY BEAT

MILLER AND DEMOCRAT SCOTT

MACADAMS TO BECOME FIRST

WRITE-IN CANDIDATE TO WIN A

SENATE VICTORY SINCE 1954 WHEN

IN A RUN-OFF STROM THURMOND

NARROWLY DEFEATED BLACK PEOPLE,

BUT JOE HAS NOT GIVEN UP,

DESPITE THE FACT THE ALASKA

G.O.P. IS URGING HIM TO STEP

DOWN.

THEY'RE SAYING HE SHOULD END HIS

CAMPAIGN IN A DIGNIFIED MANNER.

THAT'S GOT TO HURT JOE.

HE WAS SO CONFIDENT.

[GUNFIRE]

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

[GUNFIRE]

OH, MY GOD, THE TURKEY I

PARDONED JUST SHOT JAY THE

INTERN.

THIS IS A TRAGEDY.

JAY DIDN'T EVEN GET MY COFFEE

YET.

WELL, PARDON OR NO, I'M GOING TO

GET YOU, TURKEY.

COME HERE.

JOE, YOU STAY -- HE'S GONE!

HE FLEW AWAY.

( LAUGHTER )

OH, MY GOD.

THE TURKEY FLEW AWAY.

THERE'S AN ARMED AND MURDEROUS

TURKEY ON THE LOOSE.

QUICK, I NEED TO MAKE A POLICE A

SKETCH.

HOLD ON ONE SECOND.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

( LAUGHTER )

OKAY.

EVERYONE BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR

THIS MAN.

OKAY.

HE IS...

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

HE'S VERY DANGEROUS.

AND AS WE'VE JUST

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