Morrissey

  • Aired:  10/09/12
  •  | Views: 48,639

The former lead singer of "The Smiths" talks about the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, radical vegetarianism and his song "Meat Is Murder." (5:10)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A SINGER/SONGWRITER KNOWN FOR HIS MELANCHOLY LYRICS.

ARE YOU READY TO ROCK YOURSELF BACK AND FORTH IN THE SHOWER WHILE CRYING?

(LAUGHTER) PLEASE WELCOME MORRISSEY!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) HEY!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON!

ALL RIGHT!

THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.

YOU'RE -- YOU'RE LIKE A LIVING LEGEND OF INDY ROCK, REDEFINED THE BRITISH SOUND, LAST 25 YEARS --

>> YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD "LEGEND" MEANS?

>> Stephen: IT MEANS YOU'RE DEAD?

>> NO, IT'S SOMETHING THAT MIGHT BE TRUE OR MIGHT BE FALSE.

IT DOESN'T REALLY APPLY.

BUT THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: WELL, YOU MIGHT NOT BE THAT GOOD.

(LAUGHTER) IT'S POSSIBLE.

IS HE THAT GOOD?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ALL RIGHT.

THERE IT IS.

COLBERT NATION HAS VOTED.

YOU'RE FROM ENGLAND.

DID YOU ENJOY THE QUEEN'S JUBILEE?

IT WAS SUCH A LOVELY CELEBRATION!

>> A CELEBRATION OF WHAT?

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: 60 YEARS OF MAJESTY!

>> 60 YEARS OF DICTATORSHIP!

>> Stephen: DICTATORSHIP?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

>> IT'S DICTATORSHIP.

>> Stephen: IT'S -- IT'S A MONARCHY IN NAME BUT IT'S REALLY JUST A TOURIST TRAP AT THIS POINT.

(LAUGHTER)

>> VERY, VERY TRUE.

>> Stephen: DIDN'T YOU LOVE THE PAGEANTRY?

>> NO.

>> Stephen: NO?

>> SORRY, NO.

>> Stephen: BUT -- BUT SHE'S YOUR QUEEN.

>> SHE'S NOT!

>> Stephen: YES!

SHE IS!

YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT BUT SHE'S YOUR QUEEN.

YOU HAD TO LOVE THE ROYAL WEDDING?

>> I HATED THE ROYAL WEDDING.

>> Stephen: YOU HAD TO LOVE IT.

>> I HATED IT.

>> Stephen: KATE THE GREAT!

>> I THINK THEY'RE ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE PEOPLE.

I THINK THEY'RE ARROGANT HORRIBLE DICTATORS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THEY'RE HORRIBLE.

THE WORLD DOES NOT NEED THEM.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SAY PIPPA DIDN'T LOOK LOVELY.

(LAUGHTER) YOU COULDN'T HAVE PULLED OFF THAT DRESS.

(LAUGHTER)

>> THEN OF COURSE A FEW WEEKS LATER SHE'S IN A SCANDAL IN PARIS, HIDING COMPLETELY.

>> Stephen: OF COURSE, THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE MAJESTY GOING.

>> I MEAN, DO YOU HAVE A ROYAL FAMILY?

>> Stephen: UM, YES, CALLED THE ROMNEYS.

(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THIS IS THE SMITHS, RIGHT?

>> HE'S NOT SATISFIED.

>> Stephen: NO, I'M NEVER SATISFIED.

IT'S MY JOB AS A JOURNALIST TO FIND OUT WHY YOU WON'T GET BACK TOGETHER.

OKAY?

WITH JOHNMY MAR.

WHY NOT?

YOU GUYS COULD CASH IN HUGE!

>> NOT EVERYBODY'S A FAT OLD SLAG.

(LAUGHTER) NOT EVERYBODY IS.

>> Stephen: WELL, I HATE TO TELL YOU, PLEASE WELCOME JOHNNY MAR.

JOHNNY?

(LAUGHTER)

>> (LAUGHS)

>> Stephen: NOT EVEN FOR A MINUTE?

NOT EVEN A MINUTE?

>> WELL, IT WAS QUITE FUNNY.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: YOU'RE A RENOWNED VEGETARIAN, YOU'RE KIND OF MILITANT ABOUT IT.

YOU REQUESTED-- DEMANDED-- THAT THIS BUILDING, EVERYONE ON STAFF, THIS THIS BE A MEAT-FREE ENVIRONMENT FOR THE DAY THAT YOU

ARE HERE.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: SO IF I'M WOOZY RIGHT NOW IT'S BECAUSE I HAVEN'T HAD MY BACON.

(LAUGHTER) WHY?

WHY ARE YOU SO MILITANT ABOUT NOT ONLY, LIKE, NOT -- NOT YOU HAVING MEAT BUT NOT EVEN SEEING MEAT?

>> BECAUSE ANIMALS ARE NICER THAN HUMANS AND THEY'RE CONSCIOUS BEINGS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: REALLY.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT ANIMALS THAT EAT OTHER ANIMALS?

CAN I EAT A LION?

>> ONLY WHEN THEY HAVE TO.

>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT ONE THAT'S ALREADY DEAD.

LIKE A COW THAT'S BEEN SENTENCED TO DEATH FOR A MURDER?

(LAUGHTER) OR A PIG THAT COMMITS SUICIDE FROM LISTENING TO TOO MANY OF YOUR SONGS?

(LAUGHTER)

>> YOU SHOULDN'T LAUGH AT THAT.

>> Stephen: I KNOW A LAMB THAT'S A (BLEEP)ING ASS (BLEEP).

CAN I EAT THAT LAMB?

CAN I EAT THAT LAMB?

(LAUGHTER)

>> IF YOU SPIT YOUR GRANDMOTHER IN AN OVEN SHE WILL PROBABLY BE TASTY.

BUT IS THAT ANY REASON TO EAT YOUR GRANDMOTHER.

>> Stephen: THAT REMINDS ME, YOU HAVE AN ALBUM AND A SONG "MEAT IS MURDER." HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THE

UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES OF SAYING THAT?

BECAUSE WHEN I HEAR THAT I JUST THINK "MURDER IS DELICIOUS." (LAUGHTER)

>> BUT -- BUT -- TO A REALLY INTELLIGENT BEING MURDER IS NOT DELICIOUS.

(LAUGHS) ANY KIND OF MURDER IS NOT DELICIOUS.

>> Stephen: I DON'T THINK SO, EITHER.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE IT TEMPTING.

>> (LAUGHS)

>> Stephen: (LAUGHS) THANK YOU.

WELL, LISTEN, EVEN AFTER THIS CONVERSATION WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO DO SOME MUSIC?

>> YES.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: YOU'RE VERY FORGIVING.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY MORRISSEY.