Stephen's Approval Rating

  • Aired:  01/18/12
  •  | Views: 31,234

Frank Luntz moderates a focus group comprised of South Carolina moms to gauge whether Stephen should run for president. (3:48)

SO CLEARLY ROMNEY IS VULNERABLE.

GINGRICH IS RIGHT, WE

CONSERVATIVES NEED A SICKLE

CANDIDATE WHO HAS AN APPEAL ON

NATIONAL LEVEL.

LAST NIGHT PUBLIC POLICY POLLING

RELEASED THEIR LATEST NATIONAL

FAVORABILITY RATING.

EVIDENTLY YOU GOT GINGRICH AT

26%, PAUL AT 27% AND SANTORUM AT

30%, BUT STILL, MITT ROMNEY

LEAVES THEM ALL IN THE DUST AT

35%.

SO, FOLKS, I GUESS ROMNEY'S

GOING TO BE THE GUY WHO -- WAIT

A SECOND.

WAIT.

WHO IS THAT UP AT THE TOP OF THE

POLL WITH A 36% FAVORABILITY

RATING?

STEPHEN COLBERT.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

WHOO!

BOOM!

36%.

3-6, 3-6.

RIGHT ON TOP.

RIGHT ON TOP.

RIGHT HERE.

FOLKS, 36%.

36%.

THAT'S MORE THAN HALF.

[LAUGHTER]

SO I SAY TONIGHT TO YOU, MY

FELLOW AMERICANS, TO END THE

DIVISION IN THE REPUBLICAN

PARTY, I NOW CALL ON ALL OF THE

OTHER CANDIDATES TO DROP OUT OF

THE RACE.

TO BE CLEAR, I AM NOT A

CANDIDATE, BUT IF ALL THE OTHER

CANDIDATES DID GET OUT, I WOULD

SEE THAT AS A STRONG INDICATION

THAT I SHOULD JUMP IN THE POOL,

AFTER, YOU KNOW, THEY SHOCK IT

WITH CHLORINE, BECAUSE BASED ON

HIS POLL NUMBERS, I'M PRETTY

SURE RICK PERRY DROPPED A TURD

IN THERE.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT, FOLKS, YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.

THIS IS POLITICS.

POLLS ARE SO IMPERSONAL.

TO GET THE PULSE OF THE VOTERS,

YOU NEED TO BE ON THE GROUND.

SO THIS PAST MONDAY I

PARTICIPATED IN A TOWN HALL IN

MYRTLE BEACH, SOUTH CAROLINA,

SPONSORED BY CAFE MOM, A SOCIAL

NETWORKING AND BLOG SITE WITH A

MEMBER BASE OF OVER 1.7 MILLION

MILFGS -- MOTHERS I'D LIKE THE

TO FOCUS GROUP.

THE DAY WAS BEING MODERATED BY

POLITICAL WORDSMITH AND AVID

INDOORSMAN FRAN LUNTZ.

I DID SOME GOOD OLD-FASHIONED

RETAIL POLITICKING, JUST A

ROOMFUL OF VOTERS AND ME UP

CLOSE AND PERSONAL IN A

TWO-MINUTE PRERECORDED VIDEO

MESSAGE, IN WHICH I INTRODUCED

MYSELF AND TALKED ABOUT THE

ISSUES THAT CONCERN ME, AND THEN

FRANK TOOK THE TEMPERATURE OF

THE ROOM.

LET'S SEE HOW I DID.

>> HOW MANY OF YOU WANT HIM TO

RUN?

APPLAUD.

[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]

HOW MANY OF YOU DON'T WANT HIM

TO RUN.

APPLAUSE.

[STRONGER APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: OKAY.

[LAUGHTER]

OKAY.

OKAY.

OKAY.

I'VE GOT SOME WORK TO DO.

BUT, YOU KNOW, WHO CARES ABOUT

GETTING APPROVAL FROM MOM.

[AUDIENCE REACTS PATIENTS

COME ON, THEY MUST HAVE HAD

SOMETHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT ME.

>> GIVE ME A WORD OR PHRASE TO

DESCRIBE STEPHEN COLBERT.

>> I THINK HE'S A DANDY.

>> A DANDY?

>> HE'S A CHARLESTON DANDY.

>> Stephen: A CHARLESTON

DANDY?

OH, OH MY.

OH, LORD, LORD HAVE MERCY.

I DO DECLARE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT

SHE IS TALKING ABOUT,

FIDDLE-DEE-DEE.

IS THERE NOT A GENTLEMAN IN THE

ROOM WHO CAN FETCH ME A COLD

GLASS OF CHINA BERRY TEA.

I DO BELIEVE I HAVE THE VAPORS.

I'M NOT HURT.

IN FACT, AND I JUST WANT TO SAY

THIS, AND I MEAN THIS, I BELIEVE

THAT SOUTH CAROLINA MOMS ARE A

COVEN OF SHRIEKING BITCHES.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

JIMMY, ACTUALLY, THAT'S A LITTLE

TOO HARSH.

LEST EDIT THAT OUT

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