Utah's Earth Day Celebration

  • Aired:  04/01/13
  •  | Views: 27,088

Utah's Department of Natural Resources celebrates Earth Day by asking kids, "Where would we be without oil, gas and mining?" (2:56)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANKS.

FOLKS, IF YOU WATCH THIS SHOW, YOU KNOW I LOVE THE.

>>

[ LAUGHTER ]

IF YOU ASK ME, IT'S THE GREATEST PLANET IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND THE EARTH IS FILLED WITH VALUABLE TREASURE FROM OIL, TO COAL, TO THOSE WEIRD LUMPY

THINGS THEY MAKE POTATO CHIPS OUT OF.

[LAUGHTER]

STILL, I'VE NEVER BEEN A FAN OF EARTH DAY AND IT'S HIPPIE DIPPY KUMBAYA ORGY OF DRUM-CIRCLE-JERKS.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S WHY I'M SO HAPPY THE UTAH DEPARTMENT OF NATURAL RESOURCES IS CELEBRATING EARTH DAY BY

SPONSORING A POSTER CONTEST FOR KIDS.

THE THEME: "WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT OIL, GAS & MINING?"

[LAUGHTER]

IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

IT'S THE SAME WAY WE CELEBRATE PRESIDENT'S DAY BY HAVING KIDS DRESS UP LIKE JOHN WILKES BOOTH!

[LAUGHTER]

AND THE CONTEST JUDGES ARE BOUND TO KNOW THEIR STUFF, BECAUSE IT'S CO-SPONSORED BY THE

SOCIETY OF PETROLEUM ENGINEERS.

CHILDREN ARE A PRECIOUS RESOURCE, AND IF ANYONE KNOWS HOW TO EXPLOIT A RESOURCE, IT'S

A PETROLEUM ENGINEER.

[LAUGHTER]

NOW, SOME LESS-ADVANCED STUDENTS MAY NOT SEE THE CONNECTION BETWEEN EARTH DAY AND THE USE OF

NON-RENEWABLE PETROCHEMICALS.

SO THE CONTEST GUIDE OFFERS A FEW HELPFUL EXAMPLES, SUCH AS "WE USE MINED MATERIALS AND

PETROLEUM PRODUCTS EVERY DAY -- GASOLINE, CARS, COMPUTERS, AND SKATEBOARDS."

[LAUGHTER]

YES, WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT AMERICA'S VITAL SKATEBOARD MINING INDUSTRY?

[LAUGHTER]

BUT REMEMBER KIDS, WHEN BEING CREATIVE, IT'S ALWAYS IMPORTANT TO FOLLOW A RIGID SET OF RULES.

ACCORDING TO THE RULES YOUR DRAWING MUST BE A TWO-DIMENSIONAL DRAWING OR PAINTING, IT MUST BE 11 BY 17

INCHES, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY DO NOT USE GLITTER!

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

OKAY?

GOOD THINKING.

GLITTER CAN BE A REAL MESS.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU SPILL THAT STUFF AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO CLEAN UP.

TOTAL DISASTER.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND GOD FORBID IT GETS ON ANY WILDLIFE.

THERE'S NO SADDER SIGHT THAN A GLITTER-SOAKED PELICAN.

[LAUGHTER]

I HAD AN ACCIDENT AT A CRAFT FAIR IN '98 AND I STILL HAVE A BAD CASE OF DISCO LUNG.

[COUGHS]

[LAUGHTER]

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