Sharia Mops

  • Aired:  03/27/13
  •  | Views: 29,832

Despite Tennessee lawmakers' best efforts, Sharia law manages to work its way into the state building's men's room. (3:15)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

NATION, I'VE LONG WARNED THAT AMERICA IS UNDER DIRE THREAT FROM CREEPING SHARIA LAW.

'CUZ IT'S HERE.

ALL OVER THE CITY I SEE WOMEN CARRYING AROUND PRAYER MATS SO THEY CAN PRAY TO MECCA.

[LAUGHTER]

THANKFULLY, BRAVE LEGISLATORS IN 29 STATES HAVE PASSED LAWS TO STOP SHARIA IN MID-CREEP,

INCLUDING TENNESSEE WHERE, DESPITE LAWMAKERS' BEST EFFORTS, SHARIA HAS MANAGED TO WORK A

CREEP-AROUND IN THE STATE CAPITOL BUILDING MEN'S ROOM.

>> WHEN THE TENNESSEE STATE CAPITOL UNDERWENT RENOVATIONS, ONE SINK IN PARTICULAR BECAME

THE SUBJECT OF CONTROVERSY.

THE SENATE CLERK WAS APPROACHED BY A NUMBER OF STATE LEGISLATORS FEARFUL THAT THE NEW SINK WAS A

MUSLIM FOOT BATH.

>> Stephen: OH YEAH, MUSLIMS ARE ALWAYS WASHING THEIR FEET.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SO THEY'RE PURE WHEN THEY PRAY, BUT WE ALL KNOW: THE CLEANER THE FEET, THE

SOFTER THE CREEP.

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER]

SO DANGER AVERTED, RIGHT?

WRONG!

DON'T LET YOUR GUARD DOWN, TENNESSEE LAWMAKERS.

BECAUSE WHAT IS A MOP SINK OTHER THAN A MUSLIM MOP BATH?

THINK ABOUT IT, A MOP IS NOTHING BUT A BEARD ON A STICK, IT'S OSAMA BIN MOPPIN'.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WELL, NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE SHARIA MOPS IN OUR CUSTODY, IT'S TIME TO FIND OUT EXACTLY WHAT

THEY'RE UP TO.

NOW FOLKS, THIS NEXT PART MIGHT BE DISTURBING SO, HIT RECORD ON YOUR TiVOs.

[LAUGHTER]

LET'S DO THIS THING.

IF YOU SAW ZERO DARK THIRTY YOU KNOW WHAT IS COMING, ALL RIGHT.

[LAUGHTER]

GET READY TO TALK EXUM!

COME ON!

GET READY TO TALK SCUM.

COME ON.

WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?

RIGHT THERE, COME ON.

GAAAHH!

HAVE YOU BEEN IN CONNECT WITH HAVE YOU BEEN IN CONTACT WITH AL-ZWAHIRI'S SWIFFER?

ANSWER ME!

NOTHING.

ALL RIGHT, HAVE IT YOUR WAY.

BUT I AM GONNA MOP THE FLOOR WITH YOU,

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