Turing Test Breakthrough

  • Aired:  06/10/14
  •  | Views: 12,010

A computer passes the famous Turing Test by successfully disguising itself as a 13-year-old boy. (1:56)

>> Stephen: WHEW!

[AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN"]

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO "THEREPORT."

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US, LADIESAND GENTLEMEN.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]NATION, THANK YOU FOR JOINING US

IN THE STUDIO, OUT THERE ATHOME.

I WANT TO SPEAK TO OUR VIEWERSWATCHING AT HOME.

PLEASE, NATION, DON'T MAKE ANYSUDDEN MOVES, BECAUSE YOU ARE

CURRENTLY IN DANGER OF ASOULLESS ENEMY THAT WANTS YOU

DEAD, AND THIS TIME I DON'T MEANYOUR CAT.

I'M TALKING ABOUT TECHNOLOGY.

BECAUSE THE MACHINES THAT WETRUST ARE ABOUT TO TURN ON US.

>> FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ACOMPUTER PROGRAM HAS PASSED THE

ICONIC TURING TEST, FOOLINGPEOPLE BASICALLY INTO THINKING

IT'S A HUMAN.

>> COMPUTERS CAN NOW PASS FORHUMAN.

KISS YOUR LOVED ONES GOOD-BYEAND UNPLUG YOUR HOME-

ELECTRONICS, ASSUMING YOU CANSTILL TELL THEM APART, BECAUSE,

FOLKS, THIS COMPUTER MANAGED TOFOOL 33% OF HUMAN QUESTIONERS BY

DISGUISING ITSELF AS A13-YEAR-OLD BOY, WHICH MAKES

SENSE IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

LIKE A TEENAGE BOY, A COMPUTERSLEEPS A LOT AND SPENDS ALL DAY

ON THE INTERNET.

NOW THE ROBO-LUTION IS UPON USAND CANNOT BE STOPPED.

IT'S A CLASSIC TALE OF HUMANSCREATING THE VERY THING THAT

WILL DESTROY US, JUST LIKE THEROMANS DID WHEN THEY INVENTED

GAY PEOPLE.

[LAUGHTER]JESUS TRIED TO WARN THEM.

THAT'S WHY THEY CRUCIFIED HIM,JUST TO KEEP HIM QUIET.

LOOK IT UP.

YOU WON'T FIND IT IN THE BIBLEBECAUSE IT WORKED.

IT WAS THE NEXT THING HE WASGONNA TALK ABOUT.

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