Colbert Super PAC - I Can Haz Super PAC!

  • Aired:  06/30/11
  •  | Views: 65,183

After a lengthy hearing, heavily peppered with arcane bureaucratic jargon, the FEC allows Stephen to form his Super PAC. (4:06)

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT, EVERYBODY!

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

>> Stephen: BEAUTIFUL, THANK

YOU SO MUCH, EVERYBODY.

YOU'RE TOO KIND.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: FOLKS, THANK YOU,

THANK YOU HERE, UP THERE, I

WANT TO SAY I HAD TO ANY

HALF -- THIEVES WHO ARE

JOINING US TONIGHT.

HOPE ALL YOUR ATTACKS ARE

PLUS TWO.

NATION, TONIGHT YOU ARE

WITNESSING HISTORY SO I HOPE

YOU ALL REMEMBER WHERE ARE

YOU RIGHT NOW.

FOR ME, I'M RIGHT HERE.

(LAUGHTER)

WRITE THAT DOWN SO I DON'T

FORGET.

BECAUSE I JUST FLEW BACK

FROM WASHINGTON, AND BOY, IS

MY EVERYTHING TIRED.

(LAUGHTER)

BECAUSE TODAY I CHANGED THE

COURSE OF AMERICA, APPEARING

BEFORE THE FEDERAL ELECTION

COMMISSION TO CONVINCE THEM

TO LET ME FORM COLBERT

SUPERPAC.

THE KEY ISSUE, FOLKS, WOULD

TALKING ABOUT MY PAC ON THE

AIR CONSTITUTE AN IN-KIND

DONATION FROM VIACOM FORCING

VIACOM TO REPORT SENSITIVE

FINANCIAL SECRETS.

FOR INSTANCE, THAT VH1

ANNUAL OPERATING BUDGET IS

$14.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: THOSE BON JOVI

VIDEOS AREN'T GOING TO PAY

FOR THEMSELVES.

NOW FOLKS, WE'VE ALL WAITED

TWO MONTHS FOR THIS

DECISION.

LET'S GET STRAIGHT TO

TODAY'S EXPLOSIVE COMMITTEE

ROOM ACTION.

JIM?

>> THE FIRST ITEM IS AN A

ADVISORY OPINION REQUEST

SUBMITTED ON BEHALF OF

STEPHEN COLBERT.

>> BY CONTRAST, B AND C

CONCLUDE THAT COST

ASSOCIATED WITH THOSE -- AB

AND C, REACH THE SAME

CONCLUSIONS ON THE FOLLOWING

ISSUES.

>> A COUPLE OF THINGS.

>> EARLIER -- SET FORTH IN

AGENDA DOCUMENT 11-38

QUESTION ONE.

>> THE CERTAIN SOMETHING --

DO NOT HAVE TO BE REQUIRED.

AND BUT IF YOU DO, THEN --

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: IF ONLY, IF ONLY

THERE HAD BEEN MORE ARCANE

BUREAUCRATIC JARGON WE MIGHT

HAVE BEEN CARRIED ON C-SPAN

3.

OF COURSE, I WAS THERE TO

GET MY RIGHTS BY ANY MEANS

NECESSARY.

AND I LET THOSE

COMMISSIONERS HAVE IT WITH

BOTH BARRELS.

>> GOOD MORNING.

>> YES.

>> YOU'RE WELCOME.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: OH YEAH.

OH YEAH!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: YEAH.

I WENT THERE.

I POPPED THE YOU'RE WELCOME

IN THERE.

OF COURSE IT WAS THE MOST

IMPORTANT MOMENT OF MY

POLITICAL CAREER.

SO I TOOK EXHAUSTIVE NOTES.

(LAUGHTER)

FINALLY AFTER ALL THE

DELIBERATION IT WAS TIME FOR

THE COMMISSION TO VOTE.

>> I MOVE TO APPROVE AGENDA

DOCUMENT 11-38 WHICH IS

DRAFT A.

ALL IN FAVOR SAY AYE.

>> AYE.

>> OPPOSED.

COMMISSION CARRIES 5-1.

Mr. COLBERT YOU MAY FORM

YOUR PAC AND PROCEED AS THE

COMMISSION HAS ADVISED IN

THIS OPINION.

>> Stephen: WHOO!

I CAN HAVE SUPERPAC!

WHOO!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: COME ON!

YEAH, BAB BABY.

NOW I REALIZE THAT SOME OF

THESE BALLOONS LOOK A LITTLE

RIPE.

THAT'S BECAUSE WE PUT THEM

UP THERE 60 DAYS AGO WHEN WE

FIRST FILED FOR THE ADVISORY

OPINION ALONG WITH A FLOCK

OF FREE SPEECH DOVES.

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