Occupy Wall Street Spreads

  • Aired:  10/17/11
  •  | Views: 24,721

The Occupy Wall Street protests break out of their fair trade, cage-free, biodegradable, free love sweat lodge and spread their anti-one-percent message worldwide. (3:03)

>> Stephen: STEPHEN, STEPHEN,

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: THANK YOU LADIES

AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO

THE REPORT.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

FOLKS, I GOT TO SAY, YOU DO

THAT SO WELL I COULD LISTEN

TO IT FOR SIX YEARS.

I ALSO WANT TO INFORM ANY

PROFESSORS WHO MIGHT BE

WATCHING, TONIGHT COUNTS AS

ONE BIOCHEM CREDIT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

NATION, I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A

GREAT COLUMBUS DAY WEEKEND.

SEEMS LIKE I'M THE ONLY ONE

LEFT WHO STILL TAKES OFF THE

TRADITIONAL NINE DAYS.

WE'VE HAD GLORIOUS AUTUMN

WEATHER HERE IN NEW YORK,

NOT A CLOUD IN THE SKY.

A DOG URINE INDEX BELOW 4.

(LAUGHTER)

SO SATURDAY I TOOK THE WOL

FAMILY TO TIMES SQUARE TO

SEE PIE FAVORITE MUSICAL

COMEDY "PHANTOM"

HE'S DEFORMED.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT I DID NOT NEED TO

BECAUSE WE GOT TO SEE SOME

FREE, SPEC FACT LAR STREET

THEATRE THAT-- SPECTACULAR

STREET THEATRE THAT SEEMED

TO BE A COMBINATION OF "RENT",

"LES MIS", "HAIR" AND "STOMP"

APPARENTLY THE OCCUPY WALL

STREET PROTESTS BROADCAST

OUT OF THEIR CARE-FREE

BIODEGRADABLE FREE LOVE

SWEAT LODGE DOWN IN ZURCOTTI

PARK AND SPREAD THEIR

ANTI-1% MESSAGE ALL OVER THE

WORLD FROM BOSTON TO

PORTLAND TO LONDON TO TOKYO

TO ROME.

OF COURSE IN ITALY THE 1%

REFERS TO THE PORTION OF THE

COUNTRY THAT SILVIO

BERLUSCONI HAS NOT HAD SEX

WITH YET.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT MOST TROUBLING OF ALL IS

THAT THE OCCUPATION HAS

SPREAD RIGHT HERE TO MY

STUDIO.

LOOK AT THIS MOB OF YOUNG--

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: SELFISHLESS

NE'ER-DO-WELLS.

NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR

LIVES.

WILLING TO STAND FOR HOURS

ON END, ENDURE HARSH

TREATMENT AND OVERCROWDING,

ALL FOR THE CHANCE TO YELL

AT SOME POOR GUY IN A SUIT.

WELL, I SAY BRING IT ON.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

FOLKS, FAIR WARNING, FAIR

WARNING, DON'T TRY TO RUSH

THE DESK.

I AM ARMED WITH PEPPER SPRAY