Herman Cain's Democrat Conspiracy

  • Aired:  11/09/11
  •  | Views: 44,259

The sexual harassment allegations keep coming at Herman Cain like an uninvited hand up a pleated skirt, and he isn't afraid to point out who's really behind them. (3:19)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WOW.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

FOLKS, THAT COULD BE CONSIDERED

SEXUAL HARASSMENT.

FOLKS, THE SEXUAL HARASSMENT

ALLEGATIONS KEEP COMING AT

HERMAN CAIN LIKE AN UNINVITED

HAND UP A PLEATED SKIRT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND CAIN ISN'T AFRAID TO POINT

OUT WHAT'S REALLY BEHIND THESE

CHARGES.

>> A BUSINESSMAN BY THE NAME OF

HERMAN CAIN STEPPED FORWARD.

THAT'S ONE THING ABOUT HERMAN

CAIN THAT I THINK THAT A LOT OF

THE AMERICAN PEOPLE KNOW.

SOME PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO SEE

HERMAN CAIN GET THE REPUBLICAN

NOMINATION, AND SOME PEOPLE

DON'T WANT HERMAN CAIN TO BECOME

PRESIDENT.

I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT THEIR

MOTIVATION IS, OTHER THAN IT'S

TO STOP HERMAN CAIN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Stephen: RIGHT.

EVEN IF THESE CHARGES ARE PROVEN

TRUE AND HERMAN CAIN DID

SEXUALLY HARASS THESE WOMEN, HOW

DO WE KNOW IT'S THIS HERMAN

CAIN? EVIDENTLY THERE'S ANOTHER

HERMAN CAIN OUT THERE THAT THIS

ONE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

FOLKS, STEPHEN COLBERT THINKS

SOMEONE IS TRYING TO TAKE HERMAN

CAIN DOWN.

THEY'RE TRYING TO KEEP HIM FROM

PROMOTING HIS 9-9-9 PLAN, OR

BUILDING HIS ELECTRIC FENCE THAT

KILLS MEXICANS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND HE APPEARS TO HAVE A GREAT

JOBS PLAN, BECAUSE SHARON BIALEK

SAID HE WAS GONNA GIVE HER A JOB

AT HIS COMPANY, IF SHE WOULD

FIRST GIVE HIM A JOB IN HIS

FRONT SEAT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THAT'S ALLEGED.

THAT'S ALLEGED.

THEY ALSO DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW

ABOUT THE NUMBER 45, A SPECIAL

NUMBER THAT CAIN DEVOTES AN

ENTIRE CHAPTER TO IN HIS BOOK

"THIS IS HERMAN CAIN."

FROM THE CHAPTER ENTITLED "45",

QUOTE:

"PEOPLE OFTEN ATTACH GREAT

SIGNIFICANCE TO A NUMBER-- IN MY

CASE, THAT NUMBER IS 45.

THE NUMBER 45 KEEPS POPPING UP."

CAIN WAS BORN IN 19-"45."

HE'S RUNNING TO BE OUR 45TH

PRESIDENT.

HE MET HIS WIFE ON APRIL 5TH, OR

4/5.

4 PLUS 5 IS NINE-- AS IN 9-9-9.

[ LAUGHTER ]

PLUS, THERE'S THAT JIM CARREY

MOVIE WHERE HE BECOMES OBSESSED

WITH

THE NUMBER 23-- AND AFTER 2 AND

3 COMES 4 AND 5!

[ LAUGHTER ]

THERE WERE 4 PEOPLE ACCUSING HIM

OF INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL

ADVANCES, NOW THERE ARE 5.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND TO KEEP ONE OF THOSE WOMEN

QUIET HIS COMPANY PAID HER

$45,000 THOUSAND DOLLARS TO KEEP

QUIET!

SPLENDOR!

IT ALL COHERES!

I CAN SEE FOREVER!

[ LAUGHTER ]

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