Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's UN Entourage

  • Aired:  10/01/12
  •  | Views: 15,839

America will never cripple Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's regime now that Costco has given his associates unfettered access to Family Pack technology. (3:41)

>> WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

FOLKS, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CHECKED THE PAPERS BUT TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF THE U.N.'S ANNUAL GENERAL ASSEMBLY.

NOW I'M TO FAN OF THE UNITED NATIONS BUT ALLOW ME TO TAKE A MOMENT HERE TO SAY TO THE VISITING DIPLOMATS IN ONE OF

YOUR MANY EXOTIC TONGUES IT (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) NOW FOLKS, (APPLAUSE) WHEN THE CLOWN SHOW HERE

ROLLS INTO TOWN, SOME OF THE CLOWNS GETTING OUT OF THE CAR ARE SCARIER THAN OTHERS.

JIM?

>> THE PRESIDENTS OF IRAN MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD IS IN NEW YORK.

HE'S AT THE UNITED NATION.

>> PROTESTORS ARE CONSTANTLY FOLLOWING AHMADINEJAD IN HIS MASSIVE ENTOURAGE OF 140 PEOPLE.

>> WHY ON EARTH IS HE EVEN HERE LET ALONE WITH SOMETHING LIKE 140 PEOPLE IN HIS ENTOURAGE.

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT, AMERICA'S CASUAL FRIDAY NEMESIS MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD-I HEART NEW YORK-IJAD WAS HERE

WITH A 140 PERSON ENTOURAGE.

AND JUST LIKE HBO'S ENTOURAGE, IT'S ALL ABOUT SUBJUGATING WOMEN.

(LAUGHTER) THAT REMINDED ME, THAT REMINDED ME (APPLAUSE) BUT FOLKS, THEY DIDN'T JUST COME HERE SO MAHMOUD COULD

SWING SOME ANTI-SEMITIC SPID EL AT THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY.

NO, THEY'RE IN NEW YORK CITY.

THEY WANT TO SEE THE SIGHTS.

AND IN NEW YORK THAT CAN ONLY MEAN THE HARLEM COSTCO.

(LAUGHTER) WHERE THE IRANIAN DELEGATION HAS BEEN SPOTTED STOCKING UP ON WHOLESALE SHAMPOOS.

NATION, THEY ARE SEEKING TO SPLIT THE ATOM AND NOW THEY CAN PREVENT SPLIT ENDS.

HOW COULD OBAMA LET THIS HAPPEN!

THE IRANIANS WERE AT COSTCO BECAUSE TOUGH ECONOMIC SANCTIONS HAVE MADE IT DIFFICULT FOR THEM TO GET

HOLD OF FOREIGN GOODS OR IMPORTED PRODUCTS.

WHICH EXPLAINS WHY THEIR LEADER HAS TO WEAR MEMBERS ONLY JACKETS FROM 1982.

(LAUGHTER) SO FOLKS, FOLKS, AT COSTCO WE HAVE GIVEN THEM UNFETTERED ACCESS TO AMERICA'S FAMILY PACK TECHNOLOGY.

WE'LL NEVER CRIPPLE THEIR REGIME WITH ECONOMIC ISOLATION NOW THAT THEY HAVE THEIR OWN 200 COUNT BOXES OF

ECONOMY SIZED ADVIL AND BULK BINS OF NUTTER BUTTER AND GREAT SHRINK WRAP RAFTS OF SHRIMP CUP O NOODLES.

YOU MADMEN, THEY WILL BE ABLE TO HIDE THEIR NUCLEAR FACILITIES INSIDE THEIR GIANT DISCARDED BARRELS OF

KIRKLAND COLESLAW.

(LAUGHTER) OH!

OH, DON'T WORRY!, DON'T WORRY, YOU SAY, THEY DON'T HAVE ENRICHED URANIUM YET.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE COSTCO SELLS?

YELLOW CAKE.

(LAUGHTER) A FIVE POUND BOX FOR 10.85.

FOR 10.85 IF YOU DON'T MAKE NUKES YOU'RE LOSING MONEY.

FOLKS, THESE MANIACS MAY DENY THE HOLOCAUST, BUT WE HAVE JUST LAID THE GROUND FOR A HOLOCAUSTCO.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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